Thursday, March 13, 2014

Supporting Your Husband on a Difficult Journey

My husband is going out of town soon and I'm being a big baby about it.

There, I said it.

His previously planned trip last month was suddenly cancelled and has now been rescheduled to this weekend.  I've been dreading it for the last month and unfortunately, so has he.

This will be a stressful trip for him to visit a dying relative and he will also be caring for his Father and helping him make this (most likely last) trip.  This was supposed to be a Father-Son bonding type trip and has turned into something else.  So now he will be travelling with someone that we are both less then fond of.  Add to the fact that my husband doesn't deal well with stress and that I am usually the one planning our trips and it's no wonder why I'm just a little nervous for him.  

I have to admit that I've been struggling to be a "good wife" and support him in this journey.  I know that he will be uncomfortable.  I know there will be sadness.  I'm worried he won't eat because with this crowd, they never seem to be able to feed anyone.  I'm concerned he won't be able to sleep.  And unfortunately, he will have to deal with some major unpleasantness.  Alone. 

I am doing my very best to support him but it's difficult because I won't be there with him.  I can't love on him, hold him, feed him or see to any of his comforts.  This is a hard thing for a traditional wife to give up.

However, I know that he needs to go on this trip.  I was the one that initially pushed him towards making this journey.  We discussed our family of 3 going, then I encouraged him to go with just his Dad & now it's become a whole other monster.  And still- I'm doing my best to smile for him.  Because I know that he will be having a difficult time and I don't want to make it worse.  Put on a brave face so your husband can do what needs to be done, right ladies?

So that's just what I'm doing.

I'm going into "super wife mode".  Sounds ridiculous right?  In reality, its very simple.  My husband is about to take on a difficult journey.  Alone.  And for the first time in almost 14 years, we will be separated.  So I'm doing what I do best- and that's being a awesome wife and taking care of my husband.  Below are just a few things that a traditional wife can do to support her husband- from a distance.

  • Be understanding and supportive even when you're not happy about the situation.
  • Assure your husband that everything will be fine at home.  Give them the ability to focus solely on the difficult task at hand.
  • See to as much of your husband's physical comforts as possible.  I will be setting up a grocery delivery for him at his hotel and I will pack breakfast for the airplane trip.
  • Let them know you are thinking of them from a distance.  I've got a sweet love note to include in his suitcase, I will put his favorite magazines in his carry-on and will of course be Facetiming and texting.
  • Do something nice to take his mind off the stress and unpleasantness.  I have encouraged him to try and make a "Guys Trip" to one of his favorite stores, Bass Pro Shops.  And I will tuck a surprise gift card to the store in his wallet.
  • Ask your husband what he needs from you while he is gone or before he goes.  For my husband, he worries about our safety.  So I've agreed to go to the gun range with him the week prior to brush up on my self defense and shooting skills.
  • Give him a week to remember prior to his trip.  I'm rolling out the big guns ladies.  A special date night, couples shower time, his favorite lunches for work, plenty of sexy time, steak for dinner etc.  My man is leaving me happy and satisfied. 
  • Welcome him home in style.  Let him know how much he's been missed and how thankful you are that he's home safely.

As a Traditional Wife, I am used to being by my husband's side at all times.  I am sad that I won't be able to be there for him through this difficult journey.  But I am doing everything I can to make it as easy for him as possible.  I want him to take this trip, he needs to take this trip so I am supporting him in every way I know possible.  Sometimes as wives, we are stuck in an impossible situation.  It's our duty to make the road smoother for our husbands.  And that includes sucking it up and quit being such a baby.

 


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