Motherhood is NOT a Contest!

My husband and I have made some pretty extreme choices when it comes to raising our son.  Many of them are unpopular among those who know us.  You simply can't make these choices if you were bothered or easily offended by someone else's opinion.  And for the most part- we aren't.

But here's what really irritates me- when I explain our choices, people seem to get upset or feel like we are judging them for not making the same decisions we have.  Now this- this is ridiculous.

Yes, we homeschool.

Yes, we eat organic foods.

Yes, we limit TV and video games.

Yes, we believe in being honest with our son.

Yes, we are very overprotective and aware of our son's safety.

But here's the thing- we recognize that everyone makes different choices in how to raise their own kids.  So when I'm talking to someone about why we choose to eat mainly organic foods, it's simply me sharing our story.  And yes, perhaps I can open your mind a bit to the dangers associated with conventional foods.  However it doesn't mean I'm taking stock of what's in your fridge and judging you to be lacking simply because you don't do what I do.  And when I tell people we homeschool because we want something better for our son and because it's the right choice for our family- I understand that it may not be the right choice for your family.

The flip side of this is that I truly don't get offended when someone questions the choices we have made.  I've had some pretty outrageous conversations with people through the years.  One person actually told me that they didn't "believe" in organic foods and that they were no different they any other foods in the grocery store.  They ended this enlightened conversation by calling me stupid for wasting my money.  Ha!  Now this was honestly more humorous then anything.  Clearly, no amount of research is going to change this person's mind.  That's fine- you do what you feel is right and I will do what I feel is right.  And that's simply all there is to it.

I don't judge you for buying pretzels at the mall or bathing your child in hand sanitizer.  I don't care if you take your 12 year old to a restaurant and they need an Ipad to calm them during dinner.  Want to take the kiddos along on animal rights protests?  Encourage them to run a marathon?  Raise them with a vegan diet or let them wear shorts and flip flops in the middle of winter?  Allow them to eat McDonald's chicken nuggets every Friday night.  Ban all TV, Internet and video games?  Go for it!  Let's stop comparing ourselves.  You do things differently then I probably would and that's ok.

Wouldn't it be great if we could listen and learn from other Mother's instead of getting so easily offended?  Seriously- where do you think I found out about Coconut Oil?  And what about Elderberry?  I've learned a lot from other Moms.  Sure, sometimes it's lessons in what NOT to do but many times, there's valuable information here.  If I got offended because another Mom was surprised that I didn't know what Elderberry was- I never would have been encouraged to do my own research and incorporate it into my family's life.  There's no shame in learning from others.

It's not a contest to see who is the better Mother but rather about being the best Mom to your child.  If you are doing what is right for your kids, then you are an excellent Mother.  End.  Of.  Story.