Wednesday, May 21, 2014

On Being a Traditional Wife

I've been a wife for 10 years now.  And yes, I fully realize that in the grand scheme of things- that's really not all that long.  But you know what, I'm pretty proud of those 10 years.  As anyone in a loving, committed relationship will tell you- marriage is hard.  It really truly is- and there's simply NO WAY you can prepare fully for the journey that is marriage.  Same thing with motherhood- but I'll save that for another day!

So today I want to share with you all just a brief snippet of what it means to be a Traditional Wife.

You should first know that I take this job very seriously.  And yes, I said job.  I consider myself to be a career wife and mother.  This is all that I have ever wanted to do with my life.  I grew up dreaming of my future husband and taking the family to Disneyland for vacay.  I wanted the cute little house where I could bake cupcakes and fold laundry.  I had my heart set on this job- and nothing else would do.  Whoa- I bet that is sure to upset some of the feminists out there!  But here's how I view it- a feminist is someone who believes in women's rights, for equality and for the ability to make our own choices.  And ladies- this is EXACTLY what I'm doing.  I have every right to dream of becoming a fabulous wife and mother, just as some of you might desire to be an astronaut, doctor or teacher.  Go Feminism!

Ok- yikes!  I got a little off track there....sorry.

So yes, I considered my job as a wife to be the fulfillment of my childhood dreams.  That's pretty awesome, right?  But what exactly does it mean to be a great wife?  Because listen, if you're going to do something- do it well.  That's my motto- aim for success and don't bother doing something if you're not going to succeed at it.  Oh geez- some of my perfectionist traits are peeking out a little bit there....here we go....

Being a Traditional Wife Means:


Putting your husband's needs first!  You heard it here ladies- your man comes first.  He should be your priority.  Is he sleeping enough?  Hungry?  Need some alone time in the garage?  Want to go fishing this weekend?  And yes- I fully realize that this might not always be possible.  But try.  Simply try to put your husband before yourself.  Think of him when making decisions- even simple ones like what to make for dinner.  I never make fish because my husband hates it and says it stinks up the house.  The last thing I want is for him to come home from a long workday and escape upstairs because the house smells bad.  Got it?  Good.


Compromise.  We as women are just naturally better communicators- sorry guys, but you know it's true.  So the job of the being the first one to initiate compromise will simply fall to you.  Strive for resolution, help your husband to navigate arguments and lead when it comes to compromise.  And when all else fails, use this phrase- "I'm trying to compromise with you, meet me halfway?"  Works every single time.



Fulfilling your duties.  A wife has many jobs and for each women and each marriage that might differ.  But I can tell you that in my house my jobs are pretty traditional.  I am in charge of all the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry and basic household tasks.  I am also the one who pays the bills, plans vacations, makes doctor appointments, homeschools the kiddo (with the exception of a few father-son projects), buys our clothes, gives haircuts, feeds the dogs, takes out the trash...you get it, I do a lot of stuff.  But another of my duties is having sex with my husband.  Yeah- I went there.  It is your job to have sex with your husband- and lots of it.  Do not underestimate the value of maintaining intimacy in your marriage.  The more sex you have, the better everything will be.  Trust me on this one.



Put your husband on a pedestal.  Whoa Nelly.  First I'm talking sex and now this?  I know....I know...but here it is- as a wife you MUST honor, respect and ADORE your husband.  Yep- I said adore.  Look past his faults and admire all the great things about him.  Way too many marriages end in divorce when the wife starts griping that her husband didn't do this or didn't do that.  Sure, we all have our grievances and there's nothing wrong with letting someone know when they disappoint you or upset you.  This is not what I mean here.  The idea is to look beyond this.  Acknowledge that no one is perfect and realize how truly blessed you are to have this man by your side.  Look up to him, not down on him.



Unconditional Love.  So here it is- we've reached the last thing on the list.  To me, being a wife simply means that I will love you forever- no matter what.  The horrible thing about people is that we are human and we have the ability to hurt one another, deeply.  Marriage is no different.  But to be a truly amazing wife, you must forgive.  Forgive your husband.  Always.  And do not let those issues stop you from loving him.  Underneath everything, you must have a deep and unshakable love for your husband.  With this comes the steadfast knowledge that nothing and no one can harm your marriage.  Give him everything, all the time.



Well there you have it.  Please keep in mind that these are simply my views on marriage and what it means to be a Traditional Wife.  I also want to acknowledge that I am not perfect.  I am not a perfect person and certainly not a perfect wife.  But I try my very best and I strive to meet all these things.  I take this role very seriously and I consider myself truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband.


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