Friday, November 1, 2013

How a Traditional Wife Can Support Her Husband

My husband works a lot.

Today he will go on-call and he will most likely work all weekend.  Since he has just worked a full 50 hour week, will work all weekend and then work the following week- he will be one tired man!  Sadly, my son and I won't see much of him during these 2 weeks.  Unfortunately, this is a cycle that happens every 3rd week.  As soon as he recovers from one on call round- another one starts back up.  It's brutal!

My husband also loves his job.  He likes the company he works for and he's very good at what he does.  So even though this on-call portion of his job is very difficult, it's worth it in the long run.

Now as you can imagine, this would probably upset most wives.  It's a very demanding job and requires way too many hours away from home.  Thankfully, this job fits in just fine with our lifestyle.  You all know by now that I'm a Stay At Home Mom and that we homeschool.  If our son went to a traditional public school, he would probably never get to see his Dad due to the school schedule and my husband's work schedule.  Another point for homeschooling!

If you read my popular series about Traditional Housewives you know that I see my job at home as being the most important.  I make sure that my husband's needs are met so that he can focus entirely on work- especially during the on-call rotations.  So how does that translate?  What's a wife to do when her husband works way too much?  Here's a short list of 8 things that I personally do to support my husband.

  1. Don't Whine and Don't Complain.  He works a lot.  He's doing his best to support his family and the last thing he wants is more stress from a nagging wife.  So shut your mouth and smile.
  2. Feed Him.  Seriously!  Men are super focused on food at least my man is- so when work is especially stressful- cook him his favorite meal or bake him a special goody.  And don't forget to pack him a lunch for the road!
  3. See To His Physical Comforts.  My husband's job can be very physically demanding.  And when he's just worked 20 hours straight, his body is ready to call it quits.  My husband appreciates a hot shower, Icy Hot cream on his shoulders and a stiff drink.  Make it happen ladies!  Go the extra mile and schedule a massage or chiropractic appointment!
  4. Surprise Him!  If he's working all the time, I'm sure he misses his wife and kids.  So take a free moment and go surprise him at work.  Make your visit brief though since he's sure to have a mountain of work left to do.  Also make sure to bring him something to snack on!  You'd be surprised how this easy and thoughtful gesture will boost his spirits and help to keep him going!
  5. Take Care of Everything at Home.  Everything.  He should not have to do a load of laundry or clean the dishes.  He's already done his job so let him relax.  Now I'm not saying that he should never help around the house.  I'm merely suggesting that when he's just worked an obscene amount of hours, don't ask him to work more. 
  6.  Be His Soft Place to Fall.  We all need physical intimacy but equally important is a spiritual and emotional connection.  Your husband should be able to come to you and know that you will always listen and be available to comfort him.  Welcome him home with sweet kisses and open arms.  When he's worked all day long, you are his safe place and his quiet in the storm.  Make him glad to be home.
  7. Be Considerate of His Time Off.  I strategically plan around my husband's on-call rotation.  I also know that the week before and the week after he's been on-call he is super tired.  This translates into a bad time to ask him to complete my Honey Do List.  And don't forget that he needs to time spend with his friends- so relax and try to give him the time he needs.  Sometimes easier said then done, I know!
  8. Thank Him.  Let him know you appreciate all of his hard work.  That you respect his role as provider for your family.  We all like to hear a little positive reinforcement and husbands are no exception.  
I take care to follow all of these so that I can be a loving and supportive wife to my husband.  He deserves it for working so hard!  

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