Lies and Honesty

We as parents do our best to teach that lying is wrong and that honesty is the best policy.  I'm sure
you're no different then I am when it comes to educating your kids about this.  However, there's a grey line and as adults we know that it's not always so clear.  This can be a difficult thing to teach a child.  Don't even get me started on the little white lies that we say in order not to hurt people's feelings.  Kids simply don't understand this.

Our policy is this-

Speak with kindness in mind.  If what you have to say will hurt someone's feelings, then simply don't say it.  Lying is wrong, period.

Here's an example.  Let's say you go over to your in-laws for dinner and your child doesn't like the main dish.  When asked how he likes his dinner, your child should NOT tell Grandma that it's gross and he hates it.  That would hurt her feelings.  But instead he can find something else to compliment that he does like.  "I really like these mashed potatoes Grandma".  Get it?  There's no lying here and your child is still being truthful while sparing someone's feelings.  A win all around.

I will be honest and say that we are still working with William on this very thing.  Sure, it might sound easy but when put to the test, it's really quite difficult.  Especially for a child.  However, in working on teaching this to my son, it's been a great refresher for me as well.  Sometimes as adults we lose our way and forget what our Momma taught us- which is clear, If you have nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut.  Right?  Tell me your Momma never told you that!

I think we've all had some adults in our lives drown in lies and hurtful words.  It's a sad thing to see really and the only thing I can assume is that their Momma never taught them that golden rule.  Either that or they simply don't care about the consequences that come from telling such blatant lies.  What's truly sad is when people start to believe their own lies.  I'm sure you've run across a couple of these folks in your lifetime- pretty scary huh?  It's like they've completely fallen down the rabbit hole and there's no way to climb back up.

Recently, my husband and I have caught some folks in lies.  A pretty ridiculous one just two weeks ago in fact!  But because they believe in them so strongly, no amount of truth telling and proof will change how they feel.  And let's be honest, when someone lies to you over and over, you don't want to waste your time trying to seek out the truth anyway.  We simply know that they can't be trusted.  They will lie to get what they want and they aren't interested in what the truth may be.  My advice- keep walking.  Consider it a valuable lesson learned on how NOT to behave and how NOT to raise your children.

This is why it's so important to teach your child that lying is wrong.  When you start lying, then start believing your lies- you lose track of the truth and every word you say becomes subject.  You want to be known as someone who is honest and truthful with a word that means something.  You can't do this and lie, it's simply impossible.