Teach Them That Its OK

Whew!

So yesterday I posted over on the Facebook page a quick little convo between me and the kiddo.  We were leaving the YMCA after participating in musical chairs with dogs, yeah- I said dogs, when the kiddo noticed a boy walking down the street.  "Mom, that's a boy!  Why is he dressed like a girl?"

My reply was simple and so completely on target with what we are personally teaching our son, "sometimes boys dress like girls and sometimes girls dress like boys and that's OK."

The response to this brief exchange was instantaneous and it was most certainly divided.  Half of you expressed that it was clearly not OK because God didn't intend for boys to dress like girls- they should be the boys God made them.  While the other half agreed that it was in fact, OK.

I have to say that I was personally very surprised to find such a divided front.  Mainly because I wasn't saying boys shouldn't be boys and girls shouldn't be girls but rather that we should teach our children to be OK with who they are and to accept others the way they are.  For the husband and I, this message of love and acceptance seems to go hand in hand with our journey as homeschoolers.  We want people to accept and respect what we do but shouldn't we in turn offer this same level of understanding and acceptance?

Here's the thing, we aren't perfect people and we sure as shit aren't perfect parents.  Not a single one of us.  We make mistakes.  We have preconceived notions and ideas concerning some people, we inadvertently pass along our judgments to our children, we make snap decisions regarding those we don't know, we judge based upon looks- it happens.  But don't we as parents have a responsibility to teach our children to look beyond the outward appearances and get to know the people underneath?

Who knows what this boy who was dressed as a girl is currently going through.  This may be a huge cry for attention, perhaps they are questioning their sexuality, trying to fit in with a certain group- seriously, who knows.  And yes, while I do personally think that boys should dress like boys, it is simply not my place to judge.  Because if one day, my child came to me and said that he wanted to wear a skirt to school, I want to be the kind of Mother who accepts him, embraces him and allows him the freedom to be himself.

Our message is one of love and acceptance.

It's OK to love who you are just the way God made you.

It's OK to accept others for who they are.

It's OK to be a strong male in today's gender neutral society.

It's OK to offer your acceptance even when you don't personally agree.

It's OK to embrace your gender roles.

It's OK to be you.

It's OK.

Because if we teach them that it's not OK, what are we saying to our children?  That who they are is wrong?  That is simply not a message I want to give my child.  Love and acceptance for the win.