Homeschooled Housewife: Social Media and Your Husband

My husband and I don't really have an "rules" on how to navigate social media inside a Traditional Marriage. However, we've figured out a few things that work for us over the years.

To be honest, up until just a couple years ago, my husband didn't have a Facebook account or an email address. He just simply doesn't have time for those things. However, I encouraged him to open a Facebook account because I think there's some value in it. I personally enjoy networking with like-minded people- which is of course my #1 reason for my Homeschooled Housewife Facebook page! But I also enjoy staying in touch with old friends and some family.

We have never had a shared Facebook account. Seriously men- there's nothing like a shared Facebook account to let the world know that your wife has your balls in her purse. Man up for goodness sakes! I do not recommend a shared account because simply put- your old high school friends and those barely tolerable relatives are not something your husband needs to see every day in his newsfeed. But what I do recommend is that you keep an open line of communication. Allow your spouse to look at your social media, texts, emails, phone calls- whatever....whenever they want to. I have nothing to hide because I am not behaving in an unwifely manner and I allow my husband 100% access.

I also suggest that you be careful of who you add to your social media feeds. You will not find old girlfriends, boyfriends, relatives who don't support us, people we haven't spoken to in 20 years ago or Dear Uncle Bob's landscapers 2nd cousin anywhere near us. Simply put- be careful of who you allow access to your life. Social media can be toxic to relationships and my husband and myself do not want to be casualties.

If you've read any of my other posts about how our Traditional Marriage works then you may know that we don't have relationships with people of the opposite sex. So you better believe that when we "add" a person of the opposite sex who is NOT a relative- we let our spouse know. And we are very careful about how we interact with that person.

This is simply the way we do things.

It's not for everyone.

Most people don't understand how a Traditional Marriage works. That's ok. I'm very confident in my relationship and don't feel the need to defend it or explain ourselves. Especially to those who have no clue what a real marriage looks like....but I digress.

So let's recap, shall we-

Here's five guidelines to use when navigating social media and your spouse.

Share everything with your spouse. Be an open book. I want my husband to know what I'm doing online and honestly, he wants to know what I'm up to as well. The amazing thing about being so open is the amount of trust you build. Try it- you'll see.
Be careful of who you allow access to your life. Having a huge amount of online "friends" means nothing if they are not truly your friends in real life. And for goodness sakes- if you don't even know the person, do not give them access to your life!
Delete the toxic people. Seriously- you'll thank me later. You must guard yourself and your marriage against those who seek to do harm. The wife is the gatekeeper of her home. Do NOT allow those who desire to do evil to cross your gate and corrupt your home and marriage.
Be mindful of what you share. Sometimes I "like" certain memes or "add" things and then I wonder what people must think of me. Just be conscious of what you're doing and who can see it. I also tend to stay away from discussing politics and religion because I recognize that not everyone shares the same viewpoints.
Use social media for good. Contacting old relatives, "liking" specific pages, staying in touch with old friends from high school, getting news updates, etc. are all excellent reasons to use social media. It should NOT be used to reach out to old flames or to seek revenge against someone who has done you harm. Want to get even- follow #3 and move on.

I have heard many stories of how Facebook ruined a marriage. I can't tell you how sad that makes me and part of me wonders if that relationship wasn't rocky to begin with- riddled with secrets, distrust and hurt. Social media can be a slippery slope but by outlining a few guidelines with your spouse you can ensure that it won't be your downfall.