For the last week or so, we have watched our beloved Lucky Dog's health begin to decline. He's our boy and for anyone who has furry babies, I know you get this. It's hard.
As a result, death has been weighing on my mind pretty heavily this past week. His death, my own death, the life altering accident of my child- it's been a burden that I simply can't see around. And then yesterday morning on the way to work, about 2 miles from my house, I witnessed the after math of a fatal car accident. The victim was an 18 year old high school boy. Someone's CHILD died yesterday and it was staring me in the face.Then I spoke with someone who had just learned she had cancer. As in, YESTERDAY, just learned. And her feelings were so raw and new. I didn't know her beyond this moment but I knew her. I knew her pain, her heartache, her worry- we all know her because she could be us.
So yes, yesterday was pretty difficult.
Work was long, speaking with people was difficult, smiling was excruciating, laughing was impossible. Then finally, my work day was done. I had a million errands to run on the way home, but I decided that I would much rather go home and simply crawl into bed.
Then I got home.
And the husband came out to the car to hug me. The kiddo had been "waiting forever Mom" to show me his Lego creation and the dogs were literally jumping with joy at my arrival.
A homecoming fit for a queen.
In that moment, I reminded myself that while there is sadness is this world, SO MUCH SADNESS- there is also happiness and joy. It's OK to feel the sadness, feel the feels you guys. But don't forget the homecoming. The sadness is still there. It likes to linger sometimes. But here's the thing- there is also the happy.
Yesterday, I made a decision NOT to crawl back into bed.
I put the leashes on the dogs and we went for a walk. As a family. We listened to the birds in the trees and laughed when Buddy Boy kept biting his leash because we weren't going fast enough. We reminisced on times when Lucky Dog was younger and he used to be the "Trail Boss" and we walked and we loved, together.
Today the happy won.
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| Laying in the sun after our walk. Today was a good day. |
My message to all of you-
As we walk through this life, the feelings will at times become overwhelming. The sadness will be SO deep that you might feel as if you simply can't cross it. But the happy will be SO joyous that your body hums with the vibrations of it's love. It's OK to feel these feelings. This is simply a part of life.
However, if you ever (like SO many people do) find yourself having trouble experiencing your happy, please speak with someone about this. Please. Sometimes the sadness lingers more than it should. It's OK to reach out, to ask for help in finding yourself again. Don't be afraid to go there because everyone deserves a slice of happy.
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