Dates For Real Couples

Do you ever read those articles full of ideas for date night and you're like, "say what?!?"

I sure do.

As lovely as a spa weekend away or horseback riding in the hills may sound- it just isn't realistic.  Mostly because the husband and I are NOT horse people and we sure as shit don't have money for a fancy weekend away.  Not gonna happen.

So really- what's a normal couple to do on a tight budget?

Ooh....I'm SO glad you asked!  Today I'm going to be sharing with you some fun and creative date ideas.  Some of these activities will cost more then others, while some of them will be totally free.  That's right, FREE!

First of all- let me just begin by saying that you might need to re-think your idea of a date night.  For us, it's not so much about what we do but rather more about spending the time doing it together.  Without the kiddo.  As in, just us.

Secondly- whenever anyone asks what they can get you for a gift, be it Christmas, your birthday, graduation etc- tell them you want a gift card.  Gift cards are a thrifty couple's best friend!  If you have a favorite restaurant, you can request gift cards to this restaurant.  Or how about movie tickets? However, the best gift cards are the generic VISA ones that can be used anywhere.  HELLO date night funding!

Alright, we've covered a few tips, now let's get to the good stuff!  What in the world are you going to do on your dates?

1. Dinner and a Movie.  Well this is a no brainer really, but there's always ways to improve upon this one.  Make it a matinee to save money, go on a weeknight so it's less crowded, find a cheap theater or even try out one of those theaters that serves you dinner right there!  Do a double feature or a restaurant crawl.  A what?  So yeah- start with drinks and appetizers at one restaurant, break it up with a movie, head to another restaurant for dinner or tapas and then end the night with dessert.  Voila- a restaurant crawl!
2. Get Outside!  One of our favorite things to do is simply get outside and enjoy the beauty of nature.  It's quiet, peaceful and free.  The husband loves to fish, so many of our dates usually end up with us at some small lake.  While I hate fishing- many times, I'll take a book and sit by the shore and read.  Or we'll talk while he fishes.  Many times we stop at the drive-thru and have a picnic too.  Talk a walk through the woods, visit a nature preserve, go apple picking, etc.
3. Shopping.  Tell me- what couple hasn't ended up at the grocery store on a date night?  You wouldn't be normal if you didn't.  The temptation of a trip down the aisles sans kiddos is simply to much to resist.  But don't forget you can also go to the mall, Target, Costco, outlet malls....yeah, there's lots of options here.  Round out the fun with dinner and drinks at your favorite restaurant.
4. Seasonal Dates.  This is perhaps my favorite on the list because the holidays are of course my favorite time of year.  We are lucky that there's many great things happening in our area from October to January.  Haunted corn mazes, Zoolights, ballet, theater, festivals- seriously, the best!  But my favorite way to end a date during the Christmas season is my simply grabbing a Starbuck's Gingerbread Latte and driving around looking at all the great Christmas lights.
5. Explore your Hobbies.  The husband is a big gun enthusiast and of course, I love reading and the arts.  Date nights are the perfect time to explore each other's passions.  For example, the husband is teaching me to shoot at a local gun range, he's a former safety instructor so he's a great teacher!  Other times, we'll end up at a book store laughing in the comedy section.  Up next- we hope to try glass blowing.
6. Find Something New.  Perhaps there's a new restaurant you want to try but it's 30 minutes away.  Or maybe you heard about a new upscale furniture store opening up downtown.  Even something as simple as hopping in the car to explore the neighboring town.  Date nights are the perfect time to explore something new and venture into new frontiers!
7. Shop the Groupon and Living Social.  Alright- so sometimes these things are absurd.  Who really wants to learn how to walk a tightrope or participate in a murder mystery theater dinner?  But other times, they can inspire some fun and different date night ideas.  For example, our area is currently offering ghost tours, comedy club tickets and pottery classes and the price is typically half of what you would normally pay!
8. A Quiet Night at Home.  This one is a little tricky and requires all the stars to align in your favor but if you can pull it off- it's amazing.  Put the kids to bed early, turn off all the electronics and unplug from the real world.  Take a bath together, sit in bed and eat ice cream and talk, couples massages- seriously, just take a night off and focus on relaxing together.  
9. A Night to Yourselves.  This one falls right in line with #8 but it's even better!  Ship your kids off to various locations (hello sleepovers!) or call in reinforcements in the form of grandparents.  Then you are free to explore all the beauties of #8 without the fear of the precious little kiddos interrupting.  This one works best for the couples that need a weekend away but can't afford a weekend away.
10. Volunteer.  We are currently exploring more volunteer opportunities together as a couple.  This year, we will be sponsoring a family for Christmas, filling stockings for homeless youth and shopping for Toys for Tots.  I hope to be able to add more things to this list like serving a meal to the homeless and helping out at a food bank.  Think of all the great things you could do together to give back to those in need.  Treat yourself to dinner or dessert after!

You'll notice that a few things are noticeably absent, like dancing or going to bars.  That's because we simply don't enjoy these things but perhaps you'll want to add it to your list.  I highly suggest you each sit down and make a list of all the things you want to do- get creative!

Full disclosure- I have to be honest here and say that the husband and I have gotten away from planning and as a result, our date nights have become a little stale.  Recently we discussed how we could spice things up and so we've set up some perimeters and added them to our previous guidelines. 

• Each person plan one date per month.
• Rotate between things that cost more and cost less.  Keep your budget in mind.
• No major surprises.  In theory, they sound great- but for us, it never works.  Little sweet surprises are great- but keep it simple here.
• Be flexible.  If your spouse has planned something that you really don't want to do- try to keep an open mind and just enjoy your time together.  If the restaurant you want to go to is crazy busy, have another option in mind.  Flexibility is key.
• This is sacred time- meaning no phone calls from family, no texts between friends.  The only person you should be picking up your cell phone for is your babysitter in case of emergency.
• Keep it varied.  If you've just had a dinner and a movie date, make sure you don't do it again twice in a row.  Variety is the spice of life after all...
• You plan the things you want to do and vice versa.  It simply doesn't work if you ask the husband to plan a shopping date while you plan a paintball date if it's not something your really interested in.  Then you end up with a lame date and someone who is disappointed because it wasn't what they really wanted.  Trust me on this one.
• Don't put too much pressure on it.  If it's been awhile since you've had date nights, it's hard not to go into them with big expectations.  So at least in the beginning, keep it light and fun.

Wow- now this seems much more realistic then going birdwatching and learning to salsa.  At least for us it is!  No matter what you decide to do, keep in mind the most important thing of all- you need these date nights.  Your marriage needs this quality time away.  You must make them a priority because if you don't- your relationship will start to unravel.

And of course- don't forget to have fun!