Gender What?

"Just Say NO to Gender Conditioning" was the headline of a recent article I came across.  I couldn't help but think, gender what?

While this concept is not new, this was certainly the first time I'd heard this term- Gender Conditioning.  But for those of you that are unfamiliar, the meaning is simple.  We as parents tend to push our children toward behaving more like their gender, through play, dress and social interactions.  Think about it- you buy toy cars for little boys and dolls for little girls, right?  Well, at least most of us do.  But now- it seems that not even this is right because there's an emerging trend with today's parents to raise a gender neutral child.

So I'm just gonna say this because well, frankly it needs to be said.

Parents- you are raising confused, over indulged children.

Yeah, you heard me right.  You're treading on eggshells.  Concerned because your little boy only wants to play with plastic green army men and your daughters want an Easy Bake oven for Christmas.  And because you can't handle their natural preferences towards a gender specific toy, you rush out and buy your girls combat boots and your boys pink t-shirts.  Say what?!?

Sure, I get that you are trying to get them to express themselves and be who they really are.  And I know you want your boys to grow up with a healthy respect for women but do they really need to run around in tutu's and paint their fingernails in order to do this?

No.

Teaching your children to respect the opposite gender comes from how they are raised.  NOT by what toys they play with and how you dress them.  It goes without saying, that they learn this respect at home.  Not only through what you teach them but by watching how their parents treat each other.  Ladies, if you disrespect your husband and treat him like a child, no amount of pink t-shirts can change what your boy sees.  And men, if you use your size to intimidate your wife, it won't matter how many dump trucks your daughter plays with- you simply can't erase this.

So how about instead of focusing on the material aspects of each gender and thoroughly confusing our children, we simply try to teach them respect and empathy towards each other.  Novel concept, I know.

And who gives a shit if your daughter loves the color pink and wants to wear a sparkly tiara everywhere she goes.  What does it matter if your boy loves everything camo and has a fascination with all things dirt encrusted.  If this is who they are- embrace it and allow them to be themselves.  Quit trying to change who they are in an effort to teach them empathy and understanding.  Focus on that stuff at home, where it matters.

And yes- if your son wants to grow up and be a ballerina, then by all means- enroll him in ballet class and buy that boy a tutu.  But until then- step off.  Support your children as they are, however that might be.