Teach Them That Its OK

Whew!

So yesterday I posted over on the Facebook page a quick little convo between me and the kiddo.  We were leaving the YMCA after participating in musical chairs with dogs, yeah- I said dogs, when the kiddo noticed a boy walking down the street.  "Mom, that's a boy!  Why is he dressed like a girl?"

My reply was simple and so completely on target with what we are personally teaching our son, "sometimes boys dress like girls and sometimes girls dress like boys and that's OK."

The response to this brief exchange was instantaneous and it was most certainly divided.  Half of you expressed that it was clearly not OK because God didn't intend for boys to dress like girls- they should be the boys God made them.  While the other half agreed that it was in fact, OK.

I have to say that I was personally very surprised to find such a divided front.  Mainly because I wasn't saying boys shouldn't be boys and girls shouldn't be girls but rather that we should teach our children to be OK with who they are and to accept others the way they are.  For the husband and I, this message of love and acceptance seems to go hand in hand with our journey as homeschoolers.  We want people to accept and respect what we do but shouldn't we in turn offer this same level of understanding and acceptance?

Here's the thing, we aren't perfect people and we sure as shit aren't perfect parents.  Not a single one of us.  We make mistakes.  We have preconceived notions and ideas concerning some people, we inadvertently pass along our judgments to our children, we make snap decisions regarding those we don't know, we judge based upon looks- it happens.  But don't we as parents have a responsibility to teach our children to look beyond the outward appearances and get to know the people underneath?

Who knows what this boy who was dressed as a girl is currently going through.  This may be a huge cry for attention, perhaps they are questioning their sexuality, trying to fit in with a certain group- seriously, who knows.  And yes, while I do personally think that boys should dress like boys, it is simply not my place to judge.  Because if one day, my child came to me and said that he wanted to wear a skirt to school, I want to be the kind of Mother who accepts him, embraces him and allows him the freedom to be himself.

Our message is one of love and acceptance.

It's OK to love who you are just the way God made you.

It's OK to accept others for who they are.

It's OK to be a strong male in today's gender neutral society.

It's OK to offer your acceptance even when you don't personally agree.

It's OK to embrace your gender roles.

It's OK to be you.

It's OK.

Because if we teach them that it's not OK, what are we saying to our children?  That who they are is wrong?  That is simply not a message I want to give my child.  Love and acceptance for the win.

Gifts Every Mom Secretly Wants for Christmas

Moms....ah, the givers of life and of gifts.  Seriously, when was the last time anyone ever asked me what I want for Christmas?  And then actually bought it for me?  I know...right?

So here it is, a list of gifts that we all want but don't ask for....

1. A house that stays clean for at least 24 hours after cleaning it.  Seriously, what's the point of cleaning when your husband and kids will just trash it again in 10 minutes.  10 minutes people!
2. Kids that put themselves to bed.  Just once I'd love for the kiddo to be like, "Oh would you look at that Mom and Dad, it's bedtime.  Love You and Goodnight."
3. A year off from hosting Christmas.  For the love of God- I just want to not have to host every single Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years.....and on and on it goes.
4. A body double.  So yeah- how cool would that be?  A woman who looks just like me who could do all my chores while I'm laying in bed sleeping?  Oh and if she could bring me coffee, that'd be great.
5. Jewelry that I want but didn't pick out myself.  If I have to circle it in the catalog or put it on hold for you to pick up, there's really no point.  Just pick out something I like that doesn't cost a freakin' fortune.
6. No flu for Christmas.  Thank you very much.
7. Pets or musical instruments from gift givers.  I mean seriously- who gives live animals or musical instruments without asking permission first?  Who?!?
8. My bits and pieces from 15 years ago.  Sigh....my boobs used to be the shit and then I had a kid.  Oh well....sorry husband.
9. A kitchen that makes dinner.  Umm....hello?  Can we just talk about this invention that needs to be invented?  
10. No more coupons books.  I really don't need a lifetime of hugs and a handful of kisses.  Can you just buy me a real gift?  Please?
11. No bills.  For one month wouldn't it be great if all the people/companies I owe money to just decided they were going to give me the wonderful gift of a "freebie".  Yeah, that'd be great.
12. Hand lotion that didn't come from the dollar bin at Target.  I mean...really.
13. An entire day to myself.  No screaming, no sandwich making, no laundry to fold and for the love of God- no whining.  Just leave me be for a whole day, is that too much to ask?
14. The ability to wear my 4 inch heels again.  And silk.  Oh how I miss silk.
15. For my child to believe in Santa forever.  Can you just....please?
16. A self cleaning house.  And car.  And kids.  And husband.  And dogs.  Yeah- just push the button and away it goes.
17. Opie and Jax under my Christmas tree.  Mmkay....
18. To never step on another Lego in the dark ever again.  Thank you very much.
19. The ability to go shopping and actually browse.  When was the last time you went to the mall without any hands grabbing at you, no meltdowns, no one complaining they were dying of boredom....
20. Excellent health.  And by health I mean cocktails. 

We All Hold a Piece of Wonderful

What we have is special, it's wonderful and unique and belongs only to us.  It's the laughter in our children's voices, the strong arms of your husband, the house you make a home, the furry babies who add joy and comfort- its ours.  Our own little piece of wonderful.

The thing with wonderful is that in one second it can all disappear.  Wonderful is fragile and it can be taken from us in an instant.  When this happens, this is when we are tested.  Our marriage is tested, our happiness, our moral compass, our family- all of it, put to the test in that one moment.

I'm not talking about everyday frustrations here, like missing your flight or not getting your Christmas bonus.  I'm talking about events that happen in the blink of an eye, that change everything.  Everything.

My hope for you all is that you'll never have a moment like this, a moment so heartbreaking that it shakes your foundation to its core.

Three years ago, the husband and I had our moment.  It's not something that I talk about often and many people aren't aware of what happened.  To be honest, it's very painful for us and extremely difficult to talk about.  But I feel like it's finally time to share just a bit of it with all of you because it's a huge part of who I am now.  Three years ago, our child was hit by a car.  He was seriously injured, spent several days in the hospital and will have lifelong health issues.  Lifelong.

That's all I'm going to say on the accident portion of things.  This Mama just isn't ready to talk about that day yet.  But I'm sure you can imagine that there is nothing worse then holding your broken baby in your arms and simply not knowing.  It's the not knowing that gets you and if you've ever been through this, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

My purpose in sharing this with you is to offer you hope.  It's coming from someone who has been there.  It's real.

Our child was broken.  My husband was broken.  I was broken.

But here we are, three years later and we have our wonderful back.  In that moment, that split second when everything changes- you wonder if you'll ever get it back.  How can you possibly do this?  Will things ever be right again?

So that day, I had my cry.  Ok- I had more than one cry.  I held my baby.  I wrapped my arms around my husband.  And I decided to fight.  I fought for my child.  I pushed his broken body to heal, I held my husband up when he couldn't, I kept my family together and I said, "We fight".

This will not break us.

Did you hear me Lord?

This.

Will.

NOT.

Break.

Us.

We fight.

Because the truth is, when things like this happen- life and death things, the only choice you have is to fight to get your wonderful back.  Things have a way of becoming crystal clear in moments like this because there is simply nothing else that matters.  No one understands that you are currently in the middle of the fight of your life.  In your world, time has stopped.

You will be tested.  Your husband will be tested.  Your family, your marriage- everything.  All of it is suddenly put on the line.  In one second, everything changes.  One second.  Can your marriage survive this heartbreak?  Can you do this?  Are you woman enough to put your family back together?  What if?  Sweet Lord- the "what if's".  They challenge you in ways you can't even imagine.

But you guys- there is hope.

For those of you currently going through your fight, I have this to say....please keep fighting.  Please.  Because someday your wonderful will come again.  This I promise you.

The 15 Second Challenge

Recently I came across a story from the Time Warp Wife in which a young married man asked his Dad for marriage advice.  "Dad, what's the secret?  You & Mom have been married for over 30 years and you're still so in love."

Dad's answer?

"Every day for the last 30 years, we have kissed each other for at least 15 seconds.  Every single day.  It's hard not to stay in love when you do this."

Well that got me thinking....do the husband and I kiss for 15 seconds every day?  Umm...do we?  I mean, we kiss A LOT.  Seriously, a shit ton.  In fact, we were recently caught kissing by the neighbor girl while we were over at their house for Halloween.  "Eww, kissing."  To which I replied, "don't worry- it's OK, we're married."

BWAHAHAHA.

She is too cute.  But clearly, we kiss a lot and we aren't shy about the when or the where.  The husband is very affection and he's my man- I can love on him all I want.  And so I shall....but let's get back to that original question.  Do we kiss for 15 seconds or longer?  Are our kisses lingering?  Do they last long after the kiss is over?

Hmm...I'm just not sure.

Insert brilliant idea here!

Now, if you know me at all- you know that I LOVE a good challenge.  Seriously, I'm all about making goals and challenging yourself.  Today, I came up with a fun and super easy challenge that will hopefully do great things for my marriage.  And I'm inviting all of you to join me!

The Rules:

Kiss your spouse each day.
15 seconds or longer.
For one week.

That's it.  Seriously, how easy is this?!?

The idea here is to see if this Dad above was right- will kissing your spouse for just 15 seconds a day help you to create a long lasting and happy marriage?  Will such a small act of love have a big impact on your marriage?

Let's find out!  I'm game- are you?

Tortilla Soup

Soup is awesome!  It's easy to make, healthy, filling and usually very cost effective.  Seriously, who doesn't love soup?  This one is a favorite in our house and most times, I make it without any meat.  Thus, the reason we simply call it, Tortilla Soup.  However, it's super easy to toss in some chicken breast or even your leftover Thanksgiving turkey.  Yeah- you heard me.  I'm putting leftover turkey in our Tortilla Soup tonight!  Woop Woop!


Tortilla Soup

1 onion, diced
6 cloves garlic, diced
1 tablespoon olive or coconut oil
2 15 oz cans diced tomatoes
3 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
1/2 small can diced green chili's
1 1/2 cup frozen corn
2 cans black beans
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup water
1 chicken breast, optional
salt & pepper to taste

Step 1: Saute onion and garlic in oil.  When translucent, add in spices and cook for approximately 5 more minutes.

Step 2:  Add in canned tomatoes, diced green chili's, chicken broth and water.  Bring to low boil and blend with your immersion blender.

Step 3:  Now add in remaining ingredients and cook on low boil for 30-60 minutes.  The longer the better!

Serve with tortilla chips and sour cream.  SO good!

Tip- I do not drain my black beans.  The juice from the beans adds a really rich flavor to the soup. Enjoy!

Down with GMO's

One of the many goals that I had for the start of 2014 was to further eliminate GMO's from our diet.  For us, this has been a slow and steady process.  I had thought we were doing really well but I have to be honest and say, that in the last year- we've really upped our game.

My focus has been primarily on eating more local foods, further reducing the processed foods and making even more things from scratch- like breads and tortillas.  Now, we really didn't have lots of processed foods to begin with- seriously, there's no canned soups in my pantry and chips are not a staple in our house.  But there's always room for improvement, right?

Last year, we were at a steady 80/20.  Meaning that 80% of what my family ate was organic and GMO free.  Looking back, a year later and we are at a solid 90/10.  Which, if you've ever tried to do this- you know how BIG of an accomplishment this truly is!

This means that when I pack the husband his lunch for work- it is 90% organic and GMO free.  When we eat dinner at home it is 90% organic and GMO free.  The snacks we eat, what we drink, the salad dressings and other condiments- all 90% organic and GMO free.

Wow.

So why am I doing this?  What's the big deal about eating GMO's?

You guys- I'm going to tell you and I really hope you'll listen.  Your health and your children's health literally depend on it.

GMO stands for Genetically Modified Organisms.  Basically, its a plant or animal (whoa! an animal?!) that has been altered in some way.  It is not something that occurs in nature.  It is not natural and as such, we simply don't know 100% that it is safe.  So it stands to reason, that if we don't know it's safe- we probably shouldn't be eating it.

I will also point out that there have been many studies done by Monsanto to prove that GMO's are safe.  However, pay close attention to these studies.  They occur typically within a 3 month time frame and are conducted by people in their employ.  Can you say- conflict of interest?!?

On the other hand, there have been MANY studies showing that GMO's are in fact not safe for human consumption.  Most notably, the recent one done by French scientist, Seralini and his team.  The big difference between these studies and the ones being conducted by Monsanto is that the timeline is much longer- 2 years instead of just 3 months.  This gives you much more data to explore and what he and his team found, was appalling.  Tumors, cancer, kidney and liver damage are among the many increased health risks they found.

Another important point to consider is the reason behind why these companies support GMO's.  Monsanto will tell you that it all comes down to being able to feed the hungry.  They are doing a grand and noble thing by making seeds that are resistant to bugs and weeds and will therefore allow the farmer to have a higher crop yield.  More crops, means more food- right?  Seems like a really great reason, doesn't it?

But did you know that organic farming practices produces the same amount of food and is sustainable for a much longer period of time?

Wait.  What?!?

Yeah....Monsanto doesn't tell people this.  Because if they knew- I think most of us would say, "why do we need Monsanto and it's chemicals when the natural methods work just as well?"  The truth is, we don't.

Parents- I don't know about you, but I simply don't want my child eating foods that could literally kill him.  This is what GMO's will do if eaten for a sustained period of time.  Not too mention all the other side effects like behavior issues, decreased immunity and allergies.  Seriously- let's stop and think.  Our kids are growing up eating this stuff.  There has never been a time in their lives when they were NOT eating GMO's.

It's a new world.  Let's just talk for a moment about the way we grew up eating.  My parents are fond of saying, "you ate this food and you're just fine."  But here's the thing- it's not the same food.  Are you listening?  It's NOT THE SAME FOOD!  Sure, it might look the same and taste the same but the ingredients that are used to make up this food are no longer the same ingredients that they used 20+ years ago.  Ah- the old bait and switch.

The food is different.  Why?  Well major corporations have found that by using GMO ingredients and other chemicals and toxins, they can make more food for less money.  And that's it in a nutshell.  Our food system is owned by just a handful of large companies that have found a way to make more money.  They simply don't care that the ingredients in your corn flakes are now literally made up of pesticides, insecticides and fungicides.  Say what?!?

So what's a concerned Mama to do?  How do you avoid a certain type of food that is literally in every single thing you come across?  How do you get rid of the GMO's?

The only fool proof way to know that you are not eating GMO's is to buy certified organic foods.  Food companies will try to trick you into thinking you are buying the "good stuff" with words just as "All Natural" or "Made with Natural Ingredients" but the only way to know for sure is to buy 100% organic.  Now, if you're too overwhelmed by all this information flooding your brain (it's alot, I know!) then simply look for these labels when out at the grocery store.

There are other simple things you can do- like buying from local famer's who use organic farming practices.  It's not just your breakfast cereal that is contaminated with GMO's.  You must consider the meat your family eats, the dairy, the eggs, the toast you feed your kids for breakfast, the rolls with dinner, the ketchup you put on your hot dog- EVERYTHING.

My advice from a Mom who's been there- terrified, appalled and overwhelmed....start small.  Make a few small changes that you know you can stick to and simply make it a priority.  My recommendation is to start with the animals.  Anything that comes from an animal, needs to be organic.  I won't go into the horrific details of why, but trust me when I say- if you make NO OTHER CHANGES, make this one.  And if you simply must know, Google "factory farms and GMO's" but don't say I didn't warn you.

From there you can move on to produce, snacks and condiments.  One small step at a time.

It all comes down to this- when your child takes a bite of their ham sandwich, will you feel good knowing you are nourishing their body?  Or will you make yourself sick thinking about the chemicals, poisons and health risks that are contained in the meat, cheese and bread?

You can do this.  I know you can.

Decorating for Christmas

Christmas is here!  Christmas is here!

And that means I can FINALLY break out the decor.  Here's the deal- our outside Christmas lights are turned on as soon as we are done eating Thanksgiving dinner.  This is the "official" start to our Christmas season.  On Friday, while the husband is at work- we are busy little elves transforming the inside of the house from Thanksgiving and Fall to all things Christmas.  It takes all afternoon but when we are done- it's magical.  Then, on Saturday, we venture out as a family and pick out our Christmas tree.  By Sunday- we are done and ready to enjoy this wonderful time of year.

Now- over the years, I've spent quite a bit of money and thrown out lots of junk in an effort to make my house look ah-mazing.

Here's a few things that I learned along the way:

• Choose a couple colors and repeat these in your decorations.  My colors are red and silver, classic Christmas.  They can be found in the florals I use, the garlands, the ornaments on the tree, the signs and plagues, the picture frames and candles.  You get the idea here.  By simply repeating a couple signature colors- it makes your decorations look intentional and adds an elegant touch.
• Incorporate as many family touches as possible.  I do this by framing pictures of Christmas' past and I have a couple handmade items that are super special.  Our nativity scene is also a hand me down from my Grandma and then my Mom.
• Select a theme or two.  There's so many trinkets and cute things to buy to decorate your home.  But too much and it will end up looking messy and cluttered.  By simply grouping items together or buying just snowmen or just Santas- it looks cute and kitschy.  You can also build these "groups" or themes in corners of your home.  Gingerbread theme in the kitchen, snowmen by the front window, Santas in the bathroom- you get the idea here.
• Take your time and buy with intention.  If I could say anything to my 20 year old self- it would be this!  Just because it's on sale, doesn't mean you need to buy it!  Think about the big picture and add just a few key items each year.

Alright, so now you've heard my tips for decorating your home for Christmas so it's time for me to share with you some of my decorations.  Yay!

Let's start with the entry.

Silver glitter "Merry Christmas" sign from Hobby Lobby for only $6.  Red and silver frame with poinsettia's on it, also from Hobby Lobby- this year and bought for $5.  Poinsettia glitter garland from Michael's- many many years old but you can buy similar for about $12 each.

As soon as you come into the house, you see our stairway. 

 I recently upgraded the garland's on the railing and decorated them myself.  If you were to buy these pre-assembled, the cheapest I've seen is $50 per garland.  Since I need three to cover the railing, I did it myself to save money.  I bought two of the 9 foot "pine" garlands from Michael's for $6 total.  Add in 3 of the poinsettia garlands for $12 each, one roll of red ribbon, 10 silver glitter pine cone "sticks" and 6 holly berry "sticks" and one long strand of white lights for a grand total of $45.  Much better then $150!

Next up in the tables and nooks in the living room.

 Holly berry picture frame from Kohl's, $7.  Red glitter picture frame from Hobby Lobby, this season and just $5.  Musical snow globe that was a gift many years ago.

Sign from Hobby Lobby, $10 and coordinating red and white glitter snowflake picture frame, $9.  Antique ceramic Christmas tree with lights- from Ebay several years ago for approximately $20.  I purchased this tree because it reminds me of my Dad's side of the family.  His sisters and Mom all had a similar style tree in their home during the Christmas season.

Black wooden candlesticks from Walmart, $15 for the set.  I bought these several years ago and LOVE them!  They might still have them, I highly recommend!  The red sequin candles are from Michael's and cost about $15 for all three.  Two bunches of fake poinsettia's ($6 each) that I put in a large vase and wrapped with leftover ribbon.  By wrapping the ribbon around the outside of the vase, you cover up the fake stems.  Red and silver picture frame from Hobby Lobby, $7.

Sitting atop my desk in our office area is our nativity scene.

My Aunt made the quilted runner underneath and the nativity itself is a hand me down.  First it belonged to my Grandma and then for awhile my Mom had it.  This was the nativity that I used to set up as a child and now my child does it.  This is what this season is all about, the birth of Christ and creating these perfect traditions and family memories.

Moving into the kitchen for the Gingerbread theme.

Super cute mini tree from Target- I got this on clearance about 8 years ago for just $3!  The stocking ornaments were made by my Aunt and the wooden gingerbread pieces were bought as a set off Ebay for about $10.  The two large gingerbread men were also bought on clearance from Marshall's for $3 each.  That's a total of under $20 for this cute gingerbread theme in my kitchen window.  Sweet!

These next photos are of our dining room which is just off the kitchen.

Let's start with the fireplace/mantel.  Our stockings where handmade by my Grandma, with the exception of the Winnie the Pooh and Dalmatian ones.  Those belong to our beloved Rat Terriers, Lucky Dog and Buddy Boy and were gifts.  On top the mantel is another poinsettia garland from Michael's for $12.  I've added a strand of white lights and some of those scented pine cones.  Red glitter candles and glass hurricanes complete the look.  These were both from Michael's and cost approximately $20 total.

The dining table is up next and features rubber place mats with the words "Let it Snow", I picked these up from Ross for just $4.  A Santa and Snowman salt and peppers shakers from the dollar store, for yep- you guessed it, only $1!  Red votive candles with silver glitter snowflakes, also from Ross for $4.  A white vase that was a gift from the husband, two bunches of fake poinsettia's from Michael's for $6 each, some leftover red and silver ornament balls all sitting atop a white and red linen napkins.  Super cute and easy!

And the last part of the dining room decor is the buffet.  My Mom just made me this adorable silver and gold table runner with red "Merry Christmas" accents.  She also gave me the matching silver snowflake candle.  It goes perfectly with the silver trees I bought from Kohl's several years ago for $15 total.  The wooden red "Believe" is an old purchase- sorry that I can't remember where from.

The kiddo also has his very own Christmas tree in his bedroom.  Sorry about the picture, but he insisted on taking it himself.

I bought the tree from Kohls' clearance for $12.  It's a fake one of course and has what we call "been snow kissed" meaning it has accents of white "snow" on the branches.  It is decorated with plastic candy canes, plastic snowflakes, some Disney ornaments and some that he made himself.

This weekend we will be getting our real Christmas tree and I'll be sure to update this post when it's all up and decorated!

After post edit: Our Christmas tree is up & decorated!
We ALWAYS get a living tree.  You simply can't beat that "Christmas smell"

So far- grand total spent on the inside Christmas decor is approximately $250.  I did this over several years, adding a new item or two each year.  If you shop wisely, it's possible to decorate your home for Christmas on a tight budget.