Nothing Like a Baby....

To make you loose your shit.

With Mother's Day fast approaching...OK, it's tomorrow, Mother's Day is tomorrow- I wanted to take a moment and reflect on Motherhood.

Growing up, I used to dream of my future family.  My dream man and the perfect, adorable and well behaved children we would create together.  We would live in a fabulous yet not ostentatious home that featured a washing machine that magically washed, dried and folded the clothes and a stainless steel kitchen that conjured up steaming plates of mac and cheese with the touch of a button.

A said it was a dream, right?

Ok, so clearly my 10 year old mind had a touch of the "fantastic" but what I nailed hands down was the feeling of my family.  The feeling of love, of belonging, of rightness- yeah, I said rightness.  You guys, this feeling is here.

I'll be honest- the little girl dreams look nothing like my reality.  I work all the time. Like, all the time.  We homeschool.  Ummm....yeah, never thought THAT would happen.  My kitchen appliances do not match- I repeat, my appliances do not match.  There's no magical washer and dryer.

But I've got my dream man.  Only, he's flawed.  Like seriously, big time, flawed.  But here's the thing- so am I.  And I have my perfect, adorable child who just so happens to have a very stubborn and independent streak with hints of authoritative defiance but oh- the most beautiful blue eyes.

Motherhood is not what I thought it would be.  

I thought I would be a different kind of Mother.  I thought I would be more patient, more soft, I thought I would cry less, battle less, struggle less.  It's just nothing at all like I imagined it to be and yet- it's everything I ever wanted.

Every night, I tell my child that I love him.  Even when he's frustrating the ever loving crap out of me, I still love him.  I let him know this.  All.  The.  Time.  And you guys- most times he tells me he loves me too.

This is Motherhood.

Soul deep unexplainable love for the little creatures that cause so much havoc.  Unending patience and forgiveness.  The desire to make each day better than the last.  The ability to oversee the unwound toilet paper rolls winding down the stairs, the mud splatters on the wall and the cracker crumbs on your shirt sleeve.  The knowledge that even if you're wearing silk and their hands are covered in mud, you will still reach in for that hug.  Every.  Single.  Time.

This is Love.

And most times it's very different from the dream.  It's better.