Battling Entitlement

There's a new trend emerging with today's generation- Entitlement.

Ah, entitlement.  The end result of pampered, spoiled kids who have never really had to work for anything- including all those baseball trophies lining their bedroom shelves.  Everyone's a winner, right?  So what's a parent to do?  How exactly do you stop your child from growing up to be a self absorbed entitled brat?

Not too long ago someone who was once close to us had the nerve to preach about my son's behavior.  Oh geez.  Parenting Rules 101- DO NOT EVER CAST JUDGEMENTS ON ANOTHER WOMAN'S CHILD.  Especially when you have no children of your own!  Ah, yes- parenting advice from non-parents.  Don't you just love when that happens?

I will be the first one to say that my William is NOT perfect.  I like to think he's a normal 8 year old boy.  Yes, on occasion he does get a little whiny and develop a strong case of the "I Wants".  What child doesn't, right?  Especially around Christmas time, yikes!  But have no fear- Mommy shuts that business down right quick!

Here's a few things we do to ensure our child is well loved and adjusted.

1. Put them to work.  Seriously!  It's healthy for a child to do age appropriate chores and other household tasks just like everyone else in the family.  Being part of a family unit means doing things for the good of the family.  While my son doesn't have a set chore list- he is expected to do things to help out whenever I ask him to.  This includes taking out the trash/recycle, picking up dog poop, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning his room, putting away his own laundry etc.  He does NOT get paid for these tasks because this is what's expected of him as part of our family.  
2. Give them opportunities to earn their own money.  When a child has to work for their money, they think long and hard before spending it.  Suddenly it has a value- a worth.  So whenever my son comes to me and says he wants to make some money, I write down a list of things he can do (above the normal, expected items) to make a little money.  He can then choose from this list.  Some things I've included are: cleaning his toys in the garage, washing the cars, organizing the pantry, vacuuming the baseboards, yardwork etc.  Depending upon the time involved and the task, the dollar amount varies.
3. Encourage them to save their money to use towards a big purchase.  This teaches children to wait for the good things in life and not to seek instant gratification.  For example, when we moved into our house a few years ago, we finally had a big backyard and my son really wanted a swing set.  He saved all this birthday, Christmas and chore money for well over a year in order to use it towards buying a swing set.  When children save and learn to wait for what they really want- you best believe they treat it with respect.  
4. Give them a dose of reality.  Just because the neighbor has a trampoline does NOT mean we need a trampoline.  And just because your school friend gets to go to Hawaii every summer does NOT mean that we will.  And for heaven's sakes- do NOT buy them something every single time you leave the house.  Seriously, I know a few people who do this...Life is not balanced, equal or fair.  Best they learn that now in a loving environment so they can navigate through the real world as a functioning adult.
5. Teach your children to be grateful.  Now this can be hard. Teaching the meaning of "thank you" and truly meaning it, is something that many adults struggle with.  We encourage a grateful attitude with things that can't be bought.  Yes, it's nice when someone buys you a new Lego set for your birthday but what's more important is that they thought about you.  That they took the time to pick out
   
   something they knew you would really like and enjoy- now that's something to be grateful for!
6. Encourage them to be responsible.  The responsibilities can vary and should be age appropriate.  If your children keep forgetting to bring their lunch to school and you bail them out everyday and take it to them- what exactly have they learned?  By simply giving them the responsibility of remembering to bring their own lunch, they will grow up knowing that there's not always someone to swoop in and save them.  They learn to do for themselves- which is a good thing!   
7. Teach them to give back to others.  Modeling a kind and giving heart is the best way to show your children what it means to be a good person.  Encourage them to give to others, spend time volunteering as a family, adopt a needy family for Christmas, donate to charity or help out a neighbor in need.  Teach your children what it means to do good deeds for others without expecting anything in return.

These are just a few of the things that you can do for your children.  I suppose to some it may seem harsh.  But we balance this with a lot of love, praise and encouragement.