But for those of us that have been in a marriage for awhile, there's a few other truths that we know. Stuff no one really talks about. So today I'm changing all that and I'm going there. Yep- THERE.
1. Sometimes you won't like each other. In fact, at times you'll wonder what the hell you were thinking the day you agreed to marry them.
2. You will experience fear. True fear like you've never known. Basic fear for their safety, fear and worry for the continuation of your marriage, fear for your life together and all you've built. Fear. You will finally get what this emotion is all about.
3. They will have the power to make you more angry than you've ever been in your entire life. Simply because they know you best.
4. Some days your heart will be so full of love and ADORATION that you will feel as if you could literally burst apart at the seams. And yet, yesterday you wanted to snuff them in their sleep. Weird these feelings.
5. You WILL wonder if the grass is greener during your down times. It's just human nature y'all and not something to freak out about.
6. Life will get boring and that's OK. You'll have moments in your marriage that may seem boring. You're steady, things are plugging away nicely, stuff is good....boring but good.
7. You'll go through a dry spell. Inevitably every single couple hits a "no sex zone" in their marriage. For some of us, it's only a month or so and others are locked up tight for years. As life changes, this is simply a normal side effect. Hang in there, it will change.
8. Sex will change. See...I told you so! Your intimate relationship is constantly evolving, it's truly a beautiful thing.
9. You will experience doubt. Doubt in your marriage, doubt in your spouse, doubt in your own self- yep, lots and lots of doubt for sure.
10. You will say some really hurtful things to one another. Good Lord but the words you will say will cut each other deep. You don't really mean to do it but it happens nonetheless.11. Sometimes it IS a fairy tale. Listen, marriage isn't perfect but when you look back on the life you've created together- you realize perfection isn't the goal. Fairytales do exist, they might just look a little different than we would assume.
12. Trust will not always be there. This doesn't mean you've got a cheater on your hands, it simply means that at times, you will lose trust in each other. Stupid shit like lying about a shopping spree or having some beers out with the guys. Yep, trust is hard y'all.
13. You wonder why no one else talks about how HARD this really is. Seriously? Why all the perfect images of marriage? This business is really difficult and no one is standing up and saying, "this is HARD!"
14. Forgiveness is rough. You will learn how to be an amazing forgiver and be in awe at how your partner is able to forgive you as well. It doesn't always come easy but you will learn how to forgive each other.
15. You don't just marry your spouse. We've all heard the saying that you are also marrying their family and yes- this is totally true. But you also marry their issues, their past relationships, childhood pain, friendship drama etc. They were people before you met and no one is perfect. You marry them flaws and all.
16. There will be late nights where you stay up crying over the possibility that your marriage will end. Listen- we've ALL had a night or two like this. But the important part is that you got up the next day determined to try and make it work.
17. You will become a better person. Being married means you put your spouse's needs and desires before your own. You learn about kindness, love, romance, grace, patience....yeah, all the good things that will inevitably turn you into a kind and thoughtful human being. Love has a way of doing that to people.
18. Your idea of romance will change. After years spent building a life together, you realize that romance is not always about big, grand gestures. But rather, it is found in the little things.
19. Many days you will feel taken advantage of and under appreciated. Sometimes we forget to say "thank you" and show our appreciate towards those closest to us. Especially if they do something for us over and over again- like simply making us dinner or doing the laundry. Again.
20. There is not another human being on this earth that you will feel more connected to. Sharing a real marriage and a real love means that you know everything about your person. Good, bad and ugly.
21. You might miss the early years. Especially if you are knee deep in jobs, children, mortgage payments, stress etc- it is very easy to look back on the "good old days" prior to all of this and wish you could simply step back in time.
22. You will change. Both of you will as a matter of fact. This is just a natural process in life but not only will you change, but THEY will change YOU. Their thoughts, beliefs, passions, joys, heartaches- it will all have a profound effect on you.
23. Sometimes you might not be attracted to each other. We all go through issues with our bodies and our health and there will be days where we are looking all sorts of messed up. Sometimes these days go on for years.
24. You will apologize even when you feel you didn't do anything wrong. In marriage, sometimes we apologize simply so we can move on. We just have to deal with this and do what is best for our relationship.
25. Kids will mess your shit up. No one ever really discusses the changes that happen once you have children. Your marriage WILL suffer and yet, you are strangely brought together and more in love then ever because you created this amazing little being together.
26. You will be totally grossed out and still love them anyways. When we get comfortable with someone we tend to be gross. Farting, picking our boogers, burping, forgetting to brush our teeth, pooping with the door open- yeah, GROSS. And yet, you'll still walk through the disgusting poop smelled bathroom to give them a kiss goodbye.
27. Love is an action, not just a feeling. You will learn over time that love is WAY more of an action then it is about a feeling. You choose every day to be with your partner, you choose to be faithful, you choose to love them. 28. You will get really good at fighting. Not just disagreements or minor arguments here but FULL ON fighting. Conflict like you would NOT believe. But you will learn how to fight fairly and with resolution in mind.
29. You will grow old together. Perhaps the most beautiful part of a marriage is simply watching the person you love most as they age. To be given the gift of aging alongside them is truly special.
Marriage y'all. It's not for sissies.
No comments:
Post a Comment