Let's me first begin by saying that I view Motherhood as the single most important job that I will personally ever have. My career is so low on the priority list that it can't be seen from under the mountain of dirty laundry. However, that does NOT mean that I don't understand and appreciate the viewpoints of traditional working Moms. Your career is very important to you and you've worked hard to get where you are today. I get it, I understand it, it's just not for me. I should also point out that I have always worked in one capacity or another. Being a full time stay at home Mom is a luxury that we just can't afford. So it is with both viewpoints that I approach this touchy subject.
The first reason that the author gives for regretting her decision to become a full time SAHM- the feeling of letting down those before you. Hogwash I say! Why in the world would Gloria Steinem or anyone else for that matter, care that you choose to stay at home with your kids? We can all appreciate those who came before us. You ladies fought the good fight and for that, I'm grateful. What this means for me, is that I can choose to work or choose to stay home. The struggle for equality in the workplace gave me and other women the ability to choose.
The 2nd reason- she uses her driver's license more then her college degree. Now this is most definitely a valid reason. You've worked hard for that college degree, not to mention you've paid a buttload for it. While I did go to college for roughly 2 years, I lacked focus and ambition. I knew that I wanted to be a wife and mother. A college degree is not required for that, so I chose not to waste my time or my money. If you decide to go to college and pay the overinflated cost of tuition, then please- by all means, get your money's worth!
And that leads me to the next reason- her kids think she did nothing. Umm...excuse me? How exactly would your kids think you didn't do anything? Do they not see you cooking, cleaning, running errands? Are they not present when you read stories to them or comfort them when they are sick? You're in the trenches, first man down and all that jazz. And let me just point out that if you GO to work everyday, you're kids certainly aren't a witness to anything you do there. Pft. Stupid- let's move on.The 4th reason- I worried more. Oh My Goodness. The theory that because you don't have "work" filling up your time so therefore you now have more time to worry is crazy. A worry wart is a worry wart. No amount of free time will change that.
My favorite reason is up next. I slipped into a more traditional marriage. Ohh...I love this one because I personally feel that all marriages function best when they take on traditional roles. I know, I know...so old fashioned of me and most definitely something I will discuss in another post. But to this, I reply- what's SO bad about a traditional marriage? No one person can do it all, right? So it's certainly nice to know that while one person goes out and brings home the bacon, someone else is there to cook it up!
Still with me here? We have reached reason #6- I became outdated. This is of course a very valid reason IF you have plans of ever returning to the workforce post kids. However, you know it's coming. You know that if you take 20 years off, things will change. Technology changes by the minute! Geez- get off your butt and take a computer class or something. The great thing about life is that we are always learning and even Moms can learn new things too!
Woohoo! We've come to the last and most ridiculous reason of all- I lowered my sights and lost my confidence. Listen ladies- if you decide that you are somehow inferior because you are "just" a stay at home Mom, then that's on you. I just don't have a lot of sympathy for those who want to wallow in self-doubt. You're fabulous. You're a great Mom. You can do anything you desire. Either believe it or not but don't blame being a stay at home Mom as the reason you don't believe in yourself.
Have you figured out by now that I don't agree with this article? There are of course some legitimate points made for those who plan to return to work someday. It's always a good idea to keep your foot in the door. So for those ladies planning to head back to work after the kids are grown- I suggest you look into part time work in your chosen field. Perhaps even an internship or some sort of volunteer position that will keep you active and engaged.
However, if you're like me- a career Mom....well really, I have no regrets. My job is my child. And I know I have the best job in the world.
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| Chrissie "hard at work" being a Wife & Mom |
There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM . ... don't allow people to make you feel different./inferior.
ReplyDeleteMost women that make negative comments are jealous.
I worked in the corporate world for 7 years and most of the women I came across would secretly talk about how they wish they didn't have to work. But in front of others they would speak differently.
Life is better when society respects the woman in the home. Unfortunately nowadays it doesn't so most women feel guilty about staying at home.
Nowadays many people just drop children out and then hand them over to the nanny to raise. Then they want to know why children nowadays are not well-behaved. It I because they are being raised by the nanny not you. The nanny is not going to discipline your child in the way you want it to. The nanny is more interested in a paycheck.
Marriage is much less stressful when the woman stays at home.
I get tired of people saying what if. ??
You cannot live your life based on what ifs . You will never live your life if you do.
Life is uncertain that is a fact. Sometimes you just have to deal with things as they happen. None of us can predict the future.
You can worry about something happening to husband and then something might happen to both you and your husband. Does that mean that children should also start going out to work as soon as they can work because something could happen to their parents . It is just a stupid philosophy.
You DO have a job . It is called being a housewife. Don't let people make you think that just because you don't work in an office you don't have a job !!!.
Also do you ever realise that most CEOs wives don't work. Why is that ?
Why should I slave away for hours in an office and neglect my family so the CEO's wife can be a SAHM.
Some people just don't think about what they are saying. They just follow everything TV and the mainstream says. Ignore them.