Now, if you've read any of my popular posts about marriage or being a Traditional Housewife, you probably have a pretty clear idea of how things work around here. But listen, we all know that no matter how much you love one another, shit still gets old. Oh boy, does it ever. But at the end of the day, the one thing that will never change is that we (as a couple) will never stop working on our marriage.
Let me say that again just in case you missed it...We. Will. Never. Stop. Working. On. Our. Marriage.
We are like every normal couple, we are happy, we have our highs and lows, we struggle over finances, we discuss parenthood, we argue, we have sex, we laugh together and sometimes we make each other cry. We are living a life together and that's hard. But let me just tell you a secret. Shhh....listen real close....marriage can be pretty damn awesome too.
And because I choose to focus on the positive, I want to help others do the same. So in that effort, I'm going to talk about some super simple ways that you can spice up your marriage and make it stronger then ever. Disclaimer- Mom, Dad...if you're reading this, you should probably stop. Yeah. Just stop now. Trust me.
Ok- we all good? Here goes, a list of 10 things you can do to bring the butterflies back into your marriage.
- Do one nice thing per day just for them. It can be as simple as a text message- I'm not talking about long, drawn out convos here. But a funny photo that reminds you of happy times or even just a "Hey Hot Stuff". Making them a coffee in the morning or changing your ringtone to your favorite song. Just make it your goal to surprise your spouse and put a smile on their face. Doing something sweet and thoughtful will go a long way towards showing your spouse how much you love them and value them.
- Shower together. Folks, showering together doesn't always have to lead to shower sex but it is a nice bonus. The idea here is to spend time together. Unwind, pamper each other and be 100% in the moment. And busy Moms- we all know it's hard enough to find time to shower or pee alone let alone find time together as a couple. So once the kids are asleep, light a few candles, grab your shower beer, turn on the hot water and just relax.
- Make the time for each other. If your husband is like mine, he works way too much. Seriously....way too much. Just last night he didn't get home until midnight and he was back out again by 7am. He wasn't even home a full 8 hours!! So you have to make it a priority to at least be awake to welcome him home with hugs and kisses. You can't succeed in your marriage if you never spend any time together. So whenever the husband is out late, I always wait up for him. My husband really appreciates this simple gesture because I show him that he's more important to me then sleep. And ladies, I really love my sleep.
- Set challenges for your marriage. I love this one because, well...I love a good challenge. You can do this either as a couple or all by yourself. Make it fun- things like having a monthly date night or saving up for a second honeymoon. You can also commit to becoming more involved in church or finding other like-minded couple friends to hang out with. Get creative and just have fun with this one! And trust me when I say that working together towards a common goal will only strengthen your marriage.
- Learn your spouse's love language. Ok, so this phrase is all the rage but really, the concept is simple. How does your spouse feel loved? What do they need to feel cherished and appreciated? For me, I love small gestures like a phone call to say "I Love You" or when the husband brings me home my favorite candy. And of course, the husband is totally different. He needs constant physical communication through hugs, hand holding, kisses and so on. Figure out what your spouse needs to feel loved and then give it to them. Easy as that.
- Have more sex. When I became a Mom, sex went to the back burner- as I'm sure it does for most new Moms. I didn't realize the stress this would put on my marriage and so I've been committed to making this a priority ever since. One simple thing you can do is just decide that your going to have sex at least once per week. Once you've got that handled, then go for twice, then 3 times and so on. Don't underestimate the value of intimacy with your spouse!
- Put your beer goggles on. Remember when you were in your drinking and partying days, ie your 20's, and you and your friends would joke about the "beer goggles" making people more attractive? Well there it is....look at your spouse with those goggles on. Choose to see the good, change your perception of them, look at them with desire, love what's in their heart even when their actions may bug the crap out of you. See them how you want to be seen and it will be returned to you. I promise.
- Get comfortable with your own skin. Listen- I'm overweight. I've got a roll and a couple extra lumps and some pooches that quite frankly- I could do without. But it is what it is and I don't see that changing anytime soon. And even though I'm not a size 8 or even a size 10, my husband still loves my body because he loves me. And I love me, just the way that I am. And ladies, you know there's nothing sexier then a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. If you think you're awesome, you're husband will too.
- Talk to each other. I know...I know...you're probably wondering how this could be considered "spicing up your marriage" but it's not always about sex. Geez....get your mind out of the gutter folks! But seriously, when was the last time you just talked to your spouse? About nothing, everything, your feelings, future plans and goals, etc. Remember back to those dating days when you would stay up way too late just talking on the phone? Or you didn't want to go home because it meant you wouldn't get to see them until morning. Get that back. You need that feeling. So the next time you don't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn (hell, even if you do!) stay up super late, pop some popcorn, grab a drink and just talk.
- Make them your everything in front of everyone all the time. Well there it is. By simply putting your spouse first, you honor them. You are showing the world how much they mean to you and who wouldn't want that? The truth is, that this really isn't all that difficult. Commit to speaking only good things about them, seek them out in a room full of people, stand by their side in silent support, be their soft place to fall. When you love your spouse unconditionally you'll find that they will do the same in return. Trust me when I say that this makes for a very happy and content marriage.
Phew! Well there you have it. Ten awesome things you can do in your marriage to get that "feeling" back. Some of these things will take time and others will just come naturally but promise me just one thing...promise me that you'll try. Marriage is hard and it takes work. Sometimes you can become broken but it is possible to put those pieces back together- don't give up. You got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment