Teaching Your Children That Different is OK

I love ALL THE THINGS about this recent article, called Teach Kids It's Ok to Ask About Disabilities and Illness.  Seriously you guys- all the things.  Please take a moment to read the article before reading the rest of this post because its truly a good thing.

With that being said, I can offer you all a very unique perspective on this topic of disabilities and illness.  I'm sure most everyone has someone in their family who's been through a debilitating and life altering illness but what about a disability?  How about in your immediate family?  Were they born this way?  Have you lived your entire life under this umbrella of DIFFERENT?

I have.

My sister was born with cerebral palsy.  I can't tell you how many children asked us, "why does she walk funny?"  They still ask.  Or the grown ups who used to yell at my Mom for parking in the handicapped spaces.  Yeah, that stuff leaves an impression on you as a kid.  For sure.

I was born with a heart defect and I have a very long (although now pretty faded) scar that runs down my chest.  If you've looked closely, perhaps you've seen it in some of my photos over on the Facebook page.  Growing up, I was "that girl with the scar" and as I got older I became, "the girl who can't do PE because of her scar".  People used to ask me if they could touch it- as if I was some freak of nature....

When the kiddo was six, he was hit by a car.  He wore a neck brace for awhile and then a full on back brace for over a year.  We didn't hide the back brace but chose to embrace it and every single person

we came across stared.  Not all of them asked but they all wanted to.  Knowing that people are looking and pitying you or that children might be scared or upset by what happened to you, it's a heavy thing.

All of these life situations give me the knowledge and ability to speak on this subject.  BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME....OK, I'm kidding here but really, I know about this stuff mmkay...

Growing up with a sister who could NOT ever hide her disability taught me to be an advocate for those with noticeable differences.  I learned very quickly at a young age who was simply curious and who was mean spirited.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking with kindness, with being curious, with wanting to learn more.  Nothing.  But please know that it is simply all in HOW you ask that makes the difference.

Living my own life of someone with a life changing FOREVER health issue has taught me that there are more to people then what you see on the surface.  They might look healthy and appear fabulous but you truly don't know what is going on in their hearts, minds and bodies.  People can hide stuff, serious stuff.

It's OK to be "different"!

Having a child, who for a limited length of time, suffered a very serious injury has by far been the most life changing for me.  There is simply no greater fear than something happening to your child.  None.  Mothering my child through this was difficult.  But teaching him to rejoice in the health and life he does have and to NOT be bound by perceived limitations was a wonderful lesson for us all.  Showing him how to be OK with his injury and as a result, his temporary change in outward
appearance became the silver lining.  As a result, it gave him even more empathy and understanding for those with injuries, illness and disabilities.

Personally- I embrace the questions.  Please feel free to ask us these questions in a kind and respectful manner and we will absolutely take the time to respond in an appropriate way.  Teach your children that it's OK to have questions and it's OK to ask these questions but it's not OK to stare, point, laugh or degrade anyone.  THIS right here is the difference y'all.

To be perfectly honest with you, I think this type of approach applies to everyone and everything.  NOT just those with disabilities, illness, injuries etc.  Curiosity is natural and education is the organic bi-product of your inquisitiveness.  Please teach your children this, please.

As for my own outward difference- it is simply a part of me.  It's just a part of my body and in truth, I really don't notice my scar.  I clearly don't hide it and I don't wish it away.  It's beautiful, just like the rest of me.  But I will tell you that the inward health of my body is of utmost importance and yes- physically I do have some limitations.  Although I feel extremely blessed that they are very minor and manageable.

For my child, he learned to be proud of his back brace.  He wore it every single day, outside his clothing, with no complaints for well over a year.  No complaints from a six year old?!?  Now that truly is a miracle mmkay....Whenever he noticed someone staring that was too afraid to ask, he would tell them, "I was hit by a car and now I wear this."  We talked about it, we dealt with it head on and we did it together, as a family.  The kiddo will always have some lasting health concerns because of his injury but they will simply become a part of his story and certainly nothing to be ashamed or afraid of.

I do hope that reading about my family's story, even just a very small part of it, can offer you some help and understanding in how to teach your children about disabilities, injuries and illness.  Or maybe it's even offered you some insight.  It's OK to be "different" and this is simply what we should be teaching ourselves and our children.  Embrace who you are, educate others and be kind.  We are all in this journey together.

Follow Up: Opt Out of Christmas

I've told quite a few people that we chose to "opt out" of Christmas this year and the response is almost always one of confusion.  What exactly does it mean to "opt out"?  How is this even possible?  Why would you want to do this?

Good questions for sure!

Now that Christmas has come and gone, I thought I would update y'all and share exactly what opting out meant for my family.

We normally host Christmas Day dinner.  Big meal, lots of friends and family, fancy china, decorations, cocktails, music- THE WORKS.  We didn't do that this year and instead chose to invite Grammie and Grampie over for soup, Piepalooza 2015 (basically a butt ton of pies that we gorged on all day long) and lots of Christmas movies.  We played Battleship, watched all three of the Santa Clause movies, played Legos, ate pie and took naps.  It was glorious.

We did not participate in any Christmas parties or events.  Now- this one was a bit more tricky because your loved ones want you there.  But you guys- I'm really so very glad we made this choice.  No big extended family get togethers, no work parties, no friend's nights out means NO extra gifts to give, NO shuffle to make it all fit into an already packed holiday schedule and NO stress.

Typically we plan quite a few holiday themed activities or have events that we try to go to during this busy season.  We did NOT plan a single thing.  Even Christmas Day was very loose as I seriously just invited over the Grandparents and had NO idea what time they were arriving.  We relaxed and just focused completely on being a family.  And when we did go somewhere or do something fun- we did it OUR way.

We took time off.  Holy Buckets but the husband hasn't had a Christmas off in 5 years.  FIVE YEARS!!!!  This year, he planned way in advance and was able to take the 23rd-27th off.  This was simply the very best gift this Christmas!  We had time to watch Christmas movies all together on the couch, we played the new video games that Santa brought, we went out looking at Christmas lights at 9pm at night, we ate cheeseburgers and fries, we visited a local church to see their light display, we drove to a local garden to see their fun outdoor display, we sang naughty Christmas carols, we went exploring in a nearby town, the husband and I had even more quality married people time, we went to the gun range, we played hours of ball with Buddy Boy, we slept in, we went to bed late- we just relaxed and enjoyed our time together with no real schedule and no real plan.

We gifted differently.  Normally Santa brings the kiddo all the good stuff- ie. the toys while the husband and I gift the necessities ie. socks, gloves, shoes etc.  Typically Santa brings about 10-15 items for the kiddo and 5 items for the grownups.  This of course does not include the stockings stuffed with goodies.  This year, Santa still came, but he brought less.  WAY less.  The kiddo had a total of 5 items under the tree from Santa and the grown ups, just 2 or 3.  The stockings were stuffed with 5 small items each.  The type of gifts were also very different and this was the very first year that the kiddo did NOT get the one item he asked Santa for.  Sorry kid, no Lego Millennium Falcon this year....

Our gifts to the kiddo were much smaller and we spent much less.  It's not that we go crazy on Christmas but we did make a big effort to cut way back on Christmas spending this year.  Not because we couldn't afford to spend more but because we wanted to take the focus off material items this year.  We also did not gift to many people that we normally gift to.  Mainly because we had opted out of most Christmas events, there wasn't a need to show up with gifts in hand.  However we also wanted to opt out of the commercialism aspect of what Christmas has sadly become.  Those that we did gift to, only received one item.  And many of the gifts we gave were free.  We chose to find gifts using our local Buy Nothing Facebook page which had the added benefit of getting us out into our community and meeting more of our neighbors.

We spent more time helping our community then ever before.  Our family has always been community service driven and we are raising our child with a heart for change.  But this year- we turned a corner.  We found many in need in our community (neighbors even, right down the street!) and we gave.  Then we gave some more.  We opened up our hearts and our wallets to give Christmas to other families instead of making it even bigger for our own.

So yes- we made several changes this year and I have to say that it was by far, one of our best Christmases ever.

We still put up decorations, we still had Christmas dinner (just not the traditional one), we spent time with family, we had presents, Santa arrived, we had our tree and our eggnog but it was just on a much smaller scale.  We opted out of the stress, the commercialism, the chaos and opted in to family, a heart to give, our community and the entire reason for the season.

Would I do this again?

In a mother truckin' heartbeat y'all.

I have to admit that I did miss dining on my wedding china and sipping from my platinum rimmed crystal goblets but other than that- yeah, it was the most wonderful, relaxing and blessed Christmas that we've had in quite awhile.

I'm already looking forward to next Christmas and taking the lessons we've learned from this year.  So many good things.  SO.  MANY.


Want to read the first post?  Click here!


Psst- Want to know what Opting Out REALLY looked like at my house???

First it looked like this.....

Then a little of this....

Pie Break!!!

And finally....some of this.

Costco On a Tuesday

It's Tuesday night and the husband and I were on an impromptu date night and found ourselves at Costco.  Because all married people know that a date night in December equals Christmas shopping mmkay....and since it was nearing closing time, the place was pretty empty.  Well...as empty as a Costco in mid December can be!

We walked around and I noticed a few people staring.  But hey- this is nothing new for us.  Several people literally leaped out of the husband's way, as if he would run them over with his double wide shopping cart. Ha!  A few ladies gave me some pretty intense glares when the husband grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him for a kiss.  Eh- jealousy breeds bitterness ladies and I ain't even worried mmkay....  And I'm not even joking when I say that one sweet family literally turned their shopping cart around so as not to go down the same deserted isle as the husband.  "But Mommy, I thought we needed the cereal in this isle?" 

RUN CHILD- SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!!  Ok- this part didn't really happen but it certainly felt like it!

I wouldn't say that I've become immune to this behavior from complete strangers but I have become used to it.  So the constant disapproving glare from the older lady ahead of us at the cash register was really quite a shock for me.  She watched us as we placed every single item on the register.  EVERY SINGLE ITEM.  Gave a disapproving huff when the bulk package of condoms made their way to the belt but clearly wasn't bothered by the Vitamin D or cheese. Hey- married people practice safe sex too Grandma!  Checked to see if we were wearing wedding rings (at least I'm thinking that was what the intense stare at my ring finger was for!) and then proceeded to give me the stare down of my life.  It was so almighty that I turned to the husband and said in a stage whisper, "maybe she thinks you're hot."  What can I say- we all know I have a bad habit of inserting my foot into my mouth and this was no exception.

It was at that point that I decided to run and hide use the ladies restroom and let the husband wait to pay.  When I decided it was safe and quit being such a big baby was finished using the restroom and came back out, I asked the husband if this woman said anything or just continued to stare at him.  It was then that he told me that once I retreated to the ladies restroom, she actually started minding her own business.  The husband was under the impression that she was trying to figure out what a woman like me what doing with a man like him.

BWHAHAHA

I just can't even.  No words.

But then I started thinking on it.  Like- really thinking on it.  And it made me so sad.  We'll never know why she gave us the most scrutinizing stare down of our lives but I hope it was because she thought we were AWESOME and not because she was silently judging us.

The unfortunate reality is that we are all guilty of casting judgment on others.  Intentional or not, it happens.  There is not one single person among us who is free from judgment.  And so I really took some time to experience what it felt like to be so harshly and silently judged by another for no reason other than our appearance and the contents of our shopping cart.  I feel like I need a sticker that screams "DON'T JUDGE ME BY THE CONTENTS OF MY SHOPPING CART MMKAY!!!" 

At this point, I am used to it- people look at the husband and judge him simply based upon the way he looks, people judge our parenting, our lifestyle, we get judged for not being Christian enough, judged for drinking and swearing, judged for spending too much time together, judged for homeschooling....really, the list goes on and on.  But in turn, we also judge others.

Is this human nature?  I just don't know. 

It doesn't feel good, that's what I do know.  I don't appreciate the way people treat my husband, I don't understand their anger over how we choose to parent and I really could do without the peanut gallery speaking on my marriage.  Peanut gallery- are you listening??  I'm over it.

So last night while browsing the TV's the size of Manhattan apartment and picking up a package of toilet paper that one would think would last far longer than it actually does- I learned a pretty good lesson.  Judging others just might be human nature but that doesn't mean it should be.  

And that is what happens when we go to Costco.  On a Tuesday.

Smothered Burritos

This recipe was all about the trial and error.  We seriously eat SO much Mexican food that I was looking for a new way to make an old favorite, thus- the Smothered Burritos.  What I love most about this recipe is that not only is it vegetarian, but that most folks already have the ingredients in their kitchen.  No need to grocery shop just for this recipe mmkay....

Smothered Burritos
*Will make approx 16 soft taco size burritos

1-15 oz can red enchilada sauce

2 cans pinto beans, drained
1/2 small can diced green chili's
1 onion, diced
4-6 cloves garlic, minced
1 bell pepper, diced *I use a combo of colors
1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke
splash Tabasco
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
salt, pepper
1 cup sour cream
10-14 flour tortillas
2 cups shredded cheddar
2 cups shredded mozzarella


Step 1: Saute onions, garlic and bell peppers in a little bit of coconut or olive oil.  When translucent, add in your spices and salt and pepper to taste.

Step 2: Add in your enchilada sauce, beans, sour cream, Tabasco and liquid smoke.  Allow to simmer on low while you prep your burritos.

Step 3:  Place cheese in flour tortillas and roll up.  I use 2- 9X13 glass pans (SPRAY FIRST!!!) and then simply fill both pans with your cheese filled tortillas.  Depending on the size of your tortillas, you may have more or less burritos in each glass pan.  I had about 8 in each one when using the soft taco size tortillas.

Step 4:  Pour your sauce evenly over the top of each pan of burritos.  Your tortillas should be completely covered.

Step 5:  Bake 325 for approx 30 minutes.   You're seriously just melting cheese here so just keep an eye on it and remove from oven when done.

Step 6:  This step is optional.  Place another layer of cheese over the top of your burritos after you've removed them from the oven.  I opt out of this one since we don't need more cheese but either way is good!

Serve with shredded lettuce, olives, green or red onions, sour cream, salsa, avocado...seriously the sky is the limit here!

When Thanksgiving Isn't....

Sigh....

My thoughts on this "family" Thanksgiving trip we took are pretty raw still.  I went into this trip with massive amounts of trepidation but was hoping for a peaceful journey.  The reality is that we all, kiddo included, came home from this trip just a bit broken.  We learned some very sad lessons probably made even more devastating by the fact that it involved those who are a part of our family.  Family is hard y'all....

HARD.

While I don't wish to get into details because it is NOT my intention to cause my parents upset, a few things must be said.

Throughout this trip, I was forced to keep my mouth shut and not utter one single word in my own defense or my child's defense.  I knew that if I were to say something, the shit would fly and since I was a guest in someone's home, I would never intentionally allow this.  This was seriously much harder for me then I had anticipated.

My child was subjected to some pretty horrific behavior and it made him extremely upset.  It makes me upset just thinking about it.  I feel as if I failed to protect my boy from someone who he should never need protection from.  It's just devastating really....

Differences in parenting styles became alarmingly clear and not in a good way.  Listen, I am and always have been one to say that we all do things differently and that there's nothing wrong with that.  Hello!  If I want others to respect the way we parent and our life choices, I should be offering the same in return. But in this case, the behavior that I was witness to is NEVER ok.  Never.

I was left extremely disappointed in people I have always admired.  Well crap.  Doesn't it just suck when you realize that those you love and admire have flaws?  Like- BIG FLAWS.  Yeah, it wasn't good.

I was prepared for a certain amount of chaos and excitement.  Travelling with 11 people will do that...but I wasn't ready for the reality of the situation.  I am truly saddened by the behavior that others feel is acceptable and it hurts my heart to think that there's an entire generation of parents raising up their children to think this type of behavior is OK.

Currently I have all these thoughts and emotions just tumbling around in my heart and my head.  In truth, I'm having a hard time processing them.  But through it all, there were some really great affirmations that were reinforced for me and the husband.  So in an effort to end this blog post on a positive note, I want to share them with you all now.


What I Know to Be True:

• My husband is simply the best.  He jumped in to help whenever there was a need.  He supported me, he was there for the kiddo, he held my hand when I needed him close and he stayed quiet in an effort to keep peace.  He did this for me.  Words can't even describe what it feels like to have a man like this in your corner.
• Our decision to keep our child away from public school and his "peers" was completely reinforced on this trip.  There's simply no reason for children to treat each other this way and I'm so thankful that our child is not subjected to it on the regular.
• I do not want more children.  Good Lord but I am SO happy with our decision to stop at one child.  I totally support large families- trust me, I do!  But we are so very happy as a family of 3.  Praise Jesus I listened to my husband.
• Your behavior, your character, your actions, your words- these are yours and yours alone.  How you behave and choose to react is what will determine your character and your worth.  Sometimes, when being attacked we must stay silent.  Not because we have nothing to say but because we are good and pure of heart.  Doing what is right doesn't always mean you do what is justified.
• There's truly no place like home. 
• Moving forward, I am only doing things that will be healthy for myself and my boys.  I learned that I can't do things (like this trip) just to please others.  While I have never been a "people pleaser" we all at times in our lives have done things for the benefit of others.  However many times, this comes as a sacrifice to our own mental well being.  Never again will I do this.
• Family is not about blood.  Listen, I have some truly amazeballs people in my family.  I simply love almost every single one of them.  The truth is that family should always be made up of people who are in your corner loving you and supporting you, so when you have someone toxic in your life- it's ok to distance yourself and make room for the good ones.  Even if those toxic people are technically family- sometimes you've just got to walk away.
• Homeschooling is perhaps the very best decision that we have ever made.  Our boy has a childhood.  In an age when 10 and 12 year olds are all up in their Facebook and Instagram, he wants to play Legos and run around outside.  His innocence is still there and for that, I will forever be thankful.
• I will not be a party to other's judgement and jealousy.   
• I am so in love with my own little family.  Goodness but we live a truly blessed life.  I have a husband who I love more and more each day- I simply can't get enough of him!  I have a child who frustrates me and makes me laugh.  I am a Wife, a Mother, a Teacher, a Writer- I am ALL THE THINGS that I've always wanted to be.  How many women get this opportunity to live out their dream?  My life is seriously so beautiful and full.

To wrap this up, I simply want to say that Family is hard.  I have yet to meet a single person who had a perfect family and extended family.  Perfection doesn't exist.  With that being said, family should only ever be made up of good things.  Even if you're fighting and at odds, if you're coming from a heartfelt place- it is good and worthwhile.  We must learn, and I pray this comes with age y'all, when to keep trying and when to simply walk away.  We don't have to subject ourselves and our children to toxic people- we just don't.

I have so many things to be thankful for and most certainly on that list is my family.  We are blessed to have some great people by our side, gracing our table, being an important part of our child's life, making memories, sharing, loving, laughing....all the good things that make up a real family.  These are the people that we will focus our love and attention on.  

As a side note, many of you might remember my post over on the Facebook page a few days prior to Thanksgiving.  Tragically, a friend and co-worker of the husband's died suddenly in his sleep right before the holiday.  So in the midst of all this family crap and trying to be THANKFUL and deal- we had this sudden loss to process.  Many times there are no words for the feelings just that they are so deep and so raw.  Can you even imagine his family and their loss?  It's just too much to even think about.

How can you not come home and see your own life in a different way after something so heartbreaking and tragic?  

You can't.  

You shouldn't.

This is my advice to you all.  Life a life full of goodness and light.  Unapologetically- live your best life, your way.

Opt Out This Christmas

Well, we are officially back from our big Thanksgiving trip...more about THAT later mmkay...but since coming back, the husband and I have made a few decisions regarding this Christmas season.

We are slowing it down.  Like...way....down....

For years, we've hosted Christmas dinner and all the fun, expense and chaos that goes along with it.  Don't get me wrong, I seriously LOVE Christmas and having a big family and friends Christmas day meal is a major part of that.  But along with it comes a certain amount of stress and a whole lot of money.  Feeding 20+ people entirely from scratch isn't cheap y'all!  Since we typically host Thanksgiving and end up doing something with friends for New Year's- that's a whole lot of money, time, stress etc throughout the entire holiday season.

Combine this with a particularly difficult Thanksgiving WEEK and the husband and I just decided to opt out.  That's right- we are saying no this Christmas to everything that is non-essential and may involve any amount of stress.

You see....we actually want to enjoy our Christmas together as a family.  And so, we will be holding that thought close to our hearts as we break the news to family and friends that we are indeed- opting out.

Sorry....not sorry...

In addition to this new found stress free holiday, the husband will actually have several days off work.  You guys- he hasn't had Christmas or Christmas Eve off in well over five years.  And I'm just so beyond thankful and excited about that that the very last thing I want to do is schlep everywhere and add in stress to our rare family time.  Just not gonna happen mmkay...

So what exactly are we saying no to this Christmas?

Most definitely we are NOT hosting Christmas day.  We also will not be going anywhere on Christmas day.  Listen- if people want to come over and hang and play with our Christmas goodies from under the tree, that's totally OK.  I'll bake some pies- like, a whole bunch of yummy pies and that's probably the extent of it.  Pie Palooza and Presents.  Yep- that about sums it up.  Well...and alcohol too!

In addition to not hosting Christmas, we will NOT be going to any extended family functions.  This means we don't have the added stress of caravaning with 13 people (many of whom we don't care for) during some of the worst traffic this time of year.  Add in the added chaos of a meal with 25+ people.  Ugh.   I also will have the added benefit of not having to cook anything for said meal.  Plus- we are actually already scheduled to work during one of these functions and we simply can't afford to take any more time off work after a week long vacay.

We are buying less.  Each year the amount of gifts under the tree gets smaller and smaller because we know that Christmas is NOT about presents but presence.  Being with your family, with your beloveds- yeah, that's where its at.  So typically, where I would be buying several gifts for some folks, I will now only be purchasing one.  Many will not even get a gift.  Please- don't take it personally but the reality is that you don't need more stuff and I can't afford to really buy it for you anyway.  So we are saying NO to the societal pressures of gift giving.

Along with buying less- we are working on giving for free.  The husband has asked me to scale way back on our spending and so for those who we will still be gifting to, I am attempting to do much of it for free.  How?  Through my local "buy nothing" Facebook page of course!  So many of my neighbors are giving away toys, beauty items, household goods etc this holiday season and what a great way to recycle and regift!

The husband and I are giving each other a combined gift.  This means that he doesn't have the added stress of having to purchase gifts for me.  Which ladies- can I just say that I am the only person he buys gifts for!  How stressful can this really be for him?!?  I'm sure many of you wives also do all the gift buying for your in-laws and husband's side of the family in addition to your side of the family.  And the husband is stressed over buying for one person!  Ha! But the truth is that we have not only wanted but we actually have a need for a larger item and instead of limping along for another year, we've decided to use our money that we would normally spend on gifts for each other to simply buy this bigger ticket item.  Works for me!

We will not be attending any work or social holiday parties.  While we greatly enjoy our jobs, friends, family, co-workers etc, the very last thing we want to do is run around to one more event during an already busy season.  It's become just one more thing to cross off an already busy calendar and in truth, I'd much rather be at home sipping a cocktail while snuggling with my boys.

To summarize-

We are saying no to events that take away from our family time.  Family as in, just the three of us.

We are saying no to anything that brings undue stress.

We are saying no to commercialism and over spending.

We are changing the way we gift.

We are saying no to anything that doesn't promote the true reason for the season.

And you guys, I can't even begin to tell you how freakin' excited I am about all of this!  A chance to slow down and enjoy my boys and my favorite time of year.  SO GOOD!

We will still be participating in our volunteer events and making sure to give back to our community.  We will still make time for extended family if they choose to come to us as our home is always open to loved ones.  We will still have some presents under the tree and Santa will still make his way to our home, although his bag will be just a little lighter this year.  We will focus on our family traditions and we will make some beautiful new memories.  And perhaps next year we will opt back in but for now- we are simply saying no.

This year, we are slowing it down and taking the time to enjoy each other during this most blessed time.  Can I encourage you to do some of the same?

The 60 Minute Chocolate Cake

You may remember that recently the husband and kiddo challenged me to bake a chocolate cake 100% from scratch in just one hour.  I'm not joking when I tell you all that this cake, start to finish, will take you just one hour.  Cooking time is included!

SWEET!

Now, if you are a regular over on the Facebook page, you've probably seen this cake several times over.  It is my favorite chocolate cake not just because it takes 60 minutes to make but because it tastes SO damn good.  It's easy to dress up with raspberries and filling, works well as cupcakes or to throw together in under an hour in a bundt pan.  Now that is simply perfection!

Please know that the actual cake recipe is NOT my original recipe.  I found it somewhere on Pinterest and I've been making it for years.  Sadly, I have no clue where I found the original recipe from (I used to know but I've since forgotten the original website)....all I knew was that this one was a keeper and so I quickly wrote it down for future use in my recipe book.  On the other hand, the chocolate frosting/ganache is indeed all mine.  But it's such a basic recipe that it's probably been duplicated from somewhere.

Here goes!

Chocolate Cake

1 3/4 cups flour

2 cups sugar
3/4 cups unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup boiling water


Combine dry ingredients in a big bowl- no need to bring out your big stand mixer.  Add in wet ingredients.  Pour into pans and bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes.  Allow to cool before removing from pan.  If you are trying to do this in under 60 minutes you can pop the pan in your freezer to help it cool down.

The best thing about this cake recipe is how versatile it is!  You can make it in a bundt pan, as a regular double layer cake in cake pans, cupcakes etc.  Simply adjust the cooking time depending on what pans you're using.

Meanwhile, as your cake is cooking, prep your chocolate ganache frosting.  Ganache sounds fancy but the reality is that it is probably the easiest frosting recipe you'll ever make.  Seriously!

Chocolate Ganache Frosting

1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup heavy cream *you can also substitute milk if you're lame like me and don't always keep heavy cream in your fridge
1-2 tablespoons Disaronno liquor or similar *optional but totally kicks it up a notch!


Melt your chocolate chips on the stove and add in your heavy cream.  DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS and keep on stirring your pot on low.  When your chocolate chips have melted, remove from the burner and add in your liquor.  Yes, this is optional but trust me when I say that it really makes your ganache something special!

At this point, put the whole pot of chocolate ganache in the fridge to cool down.  The longer it sits there, the more it will thicken up.  I like to leave it in for about 10 minutes but you may prefer it more runny (like a true ganache is) or more solid to resemble a frosting.  And if you've found that you let it cool too long, simply put it back on your stove to heat and thin out a bit.  SUPER easy!

Now frost it baby and you're in business!

Enjoy!

Ways We Give: Be the Change

Recently we had a really great conversation with the kiddo about giving.  We have always encouraged him to have a giving heart and are raising him up to be a man of change.

While at the grocery store one day, he emptied my change purse and put it all into a little box at the cash register.  They were collecting money for "world relief" and the kiddo wanted to help.

Good Lord but I love his desire to give.  

But "world relief"?  Hmm...what exactly is that?  Where's this money going?  Who will be benefiting?  And so we talked about HOW to give and where best to give our money and our gifts.  The sad reality is that most larger corporations do not pass on the majority of their donations to those in need.  So much of your monetary gifts goes to fund campaigns and objectives that you  might not personally agree with and of course, it lines the pockets of those CEO's and other bigwigs.

So how can you know for sure that your donations/gifts are going to those who truly need them?

My advice is to do your research and seek out local opportunities to give.  Whenever we think about donating to a larger company- we always do our research first.  This means hitting up the Google.  You can visit this website here to find out how a particular organization rates and decide for yourself if its a charity you want to get behind.  I would also take some time to investigate where each organization gives their money.  What causes are they funding?  What initiatives is your money going towards and how does this fit in with your personal beliefs?

For example, this Halloween the kiddo was going to Trick or Treat for UNICEF.  The organization itself got very good ratings on the website mentioned above.  I spent a little time reading over their financials and everything seemed good to go.  But then I spoke with the husband about it and he said that he thought they donated towards a cause that we firmly do NOT believe in- turns out that they do.  In addition, the CEO makes a pretty hefty salary- so we decided against giving to this organization.

Where does that leave us?  Below is a list of all the places we currently give.  You might be surprised by a few and I hope this will encourage you to seek out opportunities to give back and teach your children what it means to help others.

• New Rattitude of Washington State.  It's no secret we love our Rat Terriers!  This is a large organization but has branches in several states.  We choose to give to the local group whenever we can.  We give to them by buying their merchandise where 100% of the profits go towards rehab and rescue of the dogs.  In addition, we routinely sell items on Ebay and donate online towards medical bills for these sweet puppies.  We have also been to a couple events which serve as fundraisers.  A note on rescue/pet charities- please give locally.  Do NOT give to large corporations such as National Humane Society as none of this money will go to benefit the pets in your area.  None.  Seek out a local shelter, volunteer your time, donate blankets, pet food, money- but try to do it where it will make the most impact.  In your community.
• Local Buy Nothing Facebook page.  So this one is fairly new and I first heard about it through a friend.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this page!  Since becoming a member, I routinely give items like old toys, almost new shoes, food items and other household goods.  These pages are set up by community so you know for sure that you are giving to those in your neighborhood.  Many times folks aren't in "need" but this type of give is about being less wasteful and cutting down on our personal consumerism.  Other times, I specifically seek out those in need to give to- especially when giving food items.  We've also been on the receiving end of some great gifts from this page.  It's a wonderful way to meet those in your community as well and our page holds food drives, toy drives and puts together holiday baskets for our neighbors in need.  It simply doesn't get any more local than this!
• Toys for Tots.  We've been gifting toys to this organization since the kiddo was born.  He's now old enough to help us pick out the toys and we make a fun night of it.  While we can't personally afford to buy a whole bunch, we do try to each pick out two toys each to give to this great cause.  Last year Toys for Tots was matching every donation when you took a photo and "hash tagged" it on social media.  Seriously- how awesome is this?!?  And for those of you with children, I've found that involving your kids as much as possible makes the act of giving more "real" for them.  Try to make it a family event and encourage them to help you whenever possible.

  

  Make giving back a yearly tradition!

• Holiday Hands/Together Rising.  So Wow.  Everything about this cause speaks to my heart.  This organization started with a Mom who wanted to effect change in her community.  It's become a huge undertaking that literally changes lives.  Holiday Hands is a specific event in early November where people post online what their needs are.  These needs are big in variety-some examples include winter coats for their children, writing letters to a grieving widow, a meal, gifts to our soldiers, new shoes for a single Mom etc.  Then, a week or so later- the real magic happens.  The community comes together and meets these needs.  It's simply amazing!
• The Seattle Foundation.  This will be our 3rd year being a part of this great cause.  Each December we get together with over 800 other volunteers, active and retired military and local churches to fill Christmas stockings for local homeless children.  The scope of this project is big and is expanding every year.  We fill enough stockings for 3,500 homeless children living in almost 100 local shelters as well as 800 homeless youth living on the streets.  The stockings consist of useful items like socks, hats, toothbrushes but also have a few fun toys and games and for many area children, these are the only gifts they will receive.  This particular event is one that our extended family participates in as well.  There is no greater gift to give your child than having the entire family volunteering and giving back together.   
  
  
  

  

  Gettin' our Volunteer On!

• Operation Christmas Child.  This is our very first year making a shoebox for a child in need this Christmas.  But seriously- what better way to get your child involved in giving then to have them help you pick items to give to a child just like them?  The charity is one we can personally support and ALL of your gift goes to a child in need.  ALL OF IT.  And even better- you can track online where your gift is going.  I highly recommend that you have each of your kids be responsible for creating a box for a child their own age and then help them track the recipient online.  
• Local Food Banks.  Want to help feed those in need?  Find a local food bank and give.  It's really that simple.  Additionally, if your local grocery stores are like mine, they will offer donation "bags" or "baskets" filled with a holiday meal for a family and this is a super easy way to feed the hungry in your community.  Everyone should have a holiday meal.  EVERYONE.  This is also a great place to volunteer your time.  When I was in high school, I spent some time in our city's food bank helping to organize the donations and separate bulk food items.  You can also help pass out food and get involved in community outreach.
• Blessings Bags.  These are simple and something we are starting this year.  Put together a big ziploc bag full of useful items for the homeless in your community and then- when you see someone in need, grab a bag and give it to them.  Ideas for your blessings bags include toiletries, socks, hats, quarters, granola bars and other easy food items, feminine products etc.  Save up your hotel toiletries, ask around on your local Buy Nothing Facebook pages and stock up on some sales and it's super easy to put together a few of these bags.  Don't forget to get your kids involved in helping you assemble them and pass them out.
  

This is currently what we do now.  In addition, we also seek out those who are in need.  You may remember recently that I posted a story about the husband giving a pair of almost new Timberland's to a man in need.  We give when we can as much we can and when we see a need for it.  Because at the end of the day, I want to be the type of person who helps and I want my child to grow into the kind of man who becomes the change we want to see in this world.  It all starts with you.

This Year's Thankful Letter

This year's thankful letter to the husband is just a bit different as I've been reflecting on the almost 12 years of marriage and 15 years of being a couple.

Fifteen years.  Wow.

As a young (ish) couple, I am so incredibly proud of us that we've made it to this milestone.  Seriously.  It's amazing and we're amazing and I'm just so damn proud of us.  So in honor of this special milestone and our upcoming 12th wedding anniversary- I have this to say to the husband.



Dearest Husband,

Another year has passed and you're still standing here by my side.  I am so blessed and thankful to have you here with me.

I am thankful for our love, for our marriage and for 15 years of togetherness.

I am thankful that you are your true self with me.  That you open up to me and show me who you really are underneath all that beard and bravado.

I am thankful for 15 years of friendship.  It hasn't always been easy but I have always had you as my best friend.

I am thankful for your sweet kisses and imposing hugs.  No one feels as good as you do.

I am thankful that even in difficult times, you are able to express your love for me.  I have never doubted your love in these past 15 years and that is a rare gift indeed.

I am thankful that I have you to cry with when life gets hard and the sadness hits.

I am thankful for your fidelity and faithfulness.  You've shown me that men of honor do exist.

I am thankful to be valued and respected as your wife.  To be treated as your partner and equal.

Most of all husband- I am thankful to be loved by you.  I am so very honored to live this life with you and cannot express how blessed I feel to have spent the last 15 years loving you.

To the next 15 years.  I love you.

Your Wife.


Want to read the previous thankful letters?

• A Letter of Thanks to My Husband
• Another Letter of Thanks

Answering a Few Questions

So recently I've had a few folks reach out to me and say things like-


Why are you talking about food on your Facebook page?

You need to dedicate more to homeschooling, I don't want all the other stuff.

I don't understand why you post about marriage stuff all the time.

I thought this was a page about homeschooling?


And so the comments go....Well, I thought it was time that I addressed them and I'm doing it here for all to see.


#1- This is my blog and subsequently my Facebook page.  The content I choose to share is my choice.  Simply put, it's mine and I can do whatever I want to.  My goal has been and always will be to encourage others.

#2- I value your input and take notice of things you want to see more of and also less of, but ultimately it doesn't change the fact that this is my page/blog.

#3- Yes, this is most definitely a page/blog dedicated to homeschooling.  But it's also about the JOURNEY of homeschooling and how it relates to marriage and motherhood.

#4- I post about food because I hope to encourage others to get healthy and think about what they are putting in their bodies.  This is my right.  If you don't wish to see it, I completely understand.

#5- This page/blog is also focused on marriage.  Having a strong marriage will lead to a strong family.  It is our goal to encourage couples in their marriage as they travel this path of homeschooling and life.

Perhaps the most important thing to realize is that this page/blog is very much about our journey.  It's pretty much an electronic diary.  I don't have all the answers, I'm still figuring it out, my marriage isn't perfect, sometimes my kid is a butt, homeschooling is hard, laundry piles up- it's the journey you guys.  Good Lord but this life is hard and it's good....My hope is that being a part of this community will help you and encourage you just as much as it's done for me.

Thanks for being here!

The Homeschooled Housewife

10 Alternatives to the Flu Shot

Let me preface by saying that up until about six years ago, my family got the flu shot.  Every single year I dragged the husband and kiddo to the clinic so we could get poked with this magical concoction that would hopefully keep us from getting ill.

Oh how far we've come in just six short years.

The reasons why we no longer get a flu shot are pretty easy.  This post is NOT a debate on the science behind flu shots and vaccines- it's just about my family's personal journey and what we are doing now that works.  With that being said, the reasons are really very simple.  Every year that we got the flu shot, the husband and I got the flu.  Every.  Single.  Year.  With each year being worse than the last.  In addition to this, we desired a more natural way to keep the dreaded cold and flu season away- especially with the knowledge that the flu shot was not personally working for either of us.  Add in the conflict in our hearts about putting our child through this and we knew we had to find a better way.

In the last 5+ years, neither one of us has been sick.  In addition, the kiddo has NEVER had the flu.  You guys, he's 10 years old and HE HAS NEVER HAD THE FLU.  He's also never experienced a real, full blown cold.  He's had some minor sniffles that go away in a day and a little sore throat after one of his friend's came down with the chicken pox but a real cold- nope.  So let's just think on that a moment yeah?

Now I bet you're thinking- "well crap, how can I do this too?"  You know I'm going to share ALL my secrets with you!  Of course I am!


#1- Elderberry.  Dude it's all about the elderberry during the flu and cold season.  Because I simply don't have time to mix up my own batch of elderberry syrup, we take this in a supplement form.  Much easier that way for this busy Mama!  The kiddo has an organic syrup and the husband and I take it in pill form.  You can order off Amazon or online or perhaps find it in your local health foods store but do try to find organic and good quality if you can!

#2- Diet.  I can't say this enough- stop eating crap if you want to stop feeling like crap!  What you eat has a direct impact on how you feel.  So focus on whole, plant based foods with lots of fruits and veggies- organic if you can afford it.  Start cooking real meals at home and limit the processed junk and fast food.  It really is that easy.  Food can literally heal your body.  It can heal it!!!  Psst- there's tons of recipes here on the blog to help you get started!

#3- Sleep.  Most nights we try to get 8 hours of sleep and have the kiddo sleep for 10 hours.  Some nights I work and this just isn't possible but boy- can I feel the difference in my body when I haven't had a good night's sleep.  Make it a priority.  Do some restful type activities before bed like taking a lavender bath, reading a book, having a cocktail (yeah, that's me!) and turn off the electronics.  You'll be amazed at how fast you fall asleep!

#4- Essential Oils.  These are relatively new to our routine in just the last couple of years but I've already noticed a big difference.  During the day I'll have thieves and orange oil in the diffuser, at night I like a little lavender and eucalyptus.  You can also create a paste much like Vicks Vapo Rub and put it directly on your chest and feet.  There's so many wonderful oils that you can use to help relieve congestion, help with a sore throat, if you need to de-stress or get more rest and on and on the list goes!

$50-60 for the starter kit on Amazon!

#5- Detox Bath.  We all take a detox bath at least once per week.  The formula is actually very simple- equal parts Epsom Salts and baking soda combined with your essential oil of choice.  Which oil I put in has a lot to do with how my body is feeling.  If I'm sore and achy, I use my Muscle Relief oil.  If I feel a sore throat or congestion coming on, I use oregano and eucalyptus  and if I want a relaxing detox bath I'll put in a little lavender.  Mix it up according to your body's needs.

#6- Honey, Lemon & Ginger Tea.  We simply adore this tea...well, the husband not as much but he still drinks it.  Here's a previous post on instructions to make this tea at home and all it's wonderful healing properties.  It's very easy and tastes great!

#7- Kombucha.  We all drink at least one bottle per week.  We prefer GT's brand and it MUST be organic and it MUST be raw.  You can also drink some of this if you're simply not feeling well in general and I guarantee you in less than 2 hours you'll start to feel better!  It works for stomach upset, diarrhea, the gurgles, mild nausea, cramps- really, it's just a miracle in a bottle! I highly recommend you start with drinking half a bottle (this is strong stuff mmkay!) and then following up with the remaining half bottle.  Your body will need time to adjust to this powerful goodness!

#8- Zinc Lozenges.  I just found these and I have to say that I'm super impressed!  I mentioned previously about the chicken pox- well let me just tell you, there was quite the outbreak last month at the kiddo's homeschool program.  Many of his friends became ill and the kiddo started complaining of a pretty awful sore throat.  We combined these lozenges with some essential oils and he was 100% improved in less than 2 days.  The sore throat symptoms never gained ground while all his friends were home sick.  Love it!

#9- Apple Cider Vinegar.  I've posted several times about this wonderful stuff but the truth is that it has really helped the husband most of all.  If you suffer from seasonal allergies and sinus issues, you NEED to be drinking some ACV on the regular.  Two tablespoons in a cup of water every morning before breakfast will do the trick!  No lie- it doesn't taste fabulous but it works.  You can read more about it here.

This is the only kind you should be drinking!

#10- Common sense.  Well yeah, I felt that I should probably put this down here as well because we really use the good ole common sense when it comes to cold and flu season.  Simply put- if you are going to a large venue where lots of people will be, make sure you're taking proper precautions, like washing your hands!  If you are starting to feel ill, stay home!  If you hear that someone has just gotten over the flu, for the love of God do NOT give them a hug.  Don't be worried about offending them or hurting someone's feelings- just simply explain to them that you would love to "greet" them properly but that you would rather not get sick.  Yeah- common sense is good y'all.


Want to read more?

• Cold & Flu Season Survival Kit
• Transform Your Health: A Husband's Journey

Strawberry Pineapple Smoothie

We should just call this the "Better Than Ice Cream Smoothie" because that's what the kiddo says after every one.  "Mom, this is WAY better than strawberry ice cream!"  That gets my vote!


Strawberry Pineapple Smoothie

1 cup strawberries
1/2 cup pineapple
1 large tablespoon raw, organic honey (local if you can)
1/2 plain yogurt
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon chia seeds


I have to confess that I've made this smoothie so many times, that I just "wing it" when it comes to the exact measurements.  You can adjust the ingredients to suit your specific tastes and of course you can substitute animal products for vegan ones.  But please....please use raw, local honey.  This is the secret ingredient that will make any of your smoothies the most amazing, delicious things on God's green earth.  Trust me on this one.

So- how to make?  Well, just dump it all in your blend and blend away.  I always put the frozen items in first but really, it doesn't matter.  This will make 1 very large smoothie or 2 more normal sized ones.

Enjoy!

So good!

Our Rules on Kid Parties, Sleepovers & Such

We are strict and we shelter our child.  

Truth bomb right there for you folks.

In our house there are rules.  We also have quite a bit of regulations when it comes to birthday parties that the kiddo has been invited to.  When he was younger, it was really not an issue.  Most parents stick around during birthday parties for the 5 and under crowd.  Praise Jesus!  Can you even imagine some poor Mom trying to facilitate a roomful of 3 year old's solo?  Yeah, no.

So clearly- it was much easier to navigate this issue when the kiddo was small.  But now that he's getting older and we are in the PRIME age group for lots and lots of invitations, we are finding it a bit more tricky.

Why?

Well- you see, we don't allow the kiddo to be in someone's home unless we've first been there.  I know right.  Just think about that one for a moment.

Sleepovers are never going to happen unless we know the parents extremely well.

In addition, we say a big NO to anyone driving our child around in their vehicle.

And all those parties at an outside venue?  Seriously- I have no idea what kind of supervision you're offering....so that's probably not gonna happen either mmkay....

Good Lord but the amount of crap we've dealt with regarding these rules.  But here's the thing, they are ours and this is our choice as parents.  So suck it.  Ok....that's not nice but you know what I mean here.  We are not about to change our parenting style because several outspoken folks have an issue with it.

So where does that leave us?

Well, we do our best to find a happy medium.  The husband and I discuss the event in question and find a way to ensure that the we are all comfortable with the solution.

For example, the kiddo has a friend birthday party coming up next weekend.  The party will begin at the child's house, then the parents will drive all the kids to the venue, then drive them all back to their house after for cake/ice cream/presents.  While I know the Mom- my impressions of her were not favorable.  Sorry to say but I do not feel comfortable leaving my child in her care.  But the kiddo desperately wants to go and spend time celebrating with his friend of several years.  So after the husband and I discussed things, we decided that we could take him to the venue location and stick around to supervise. The kiddo will not be going to his friend's home and will simply give him his birthday gift at the venue location.

Navigating this can be tricky sometimes.  You certainly don't want to hurt the other parent's feelings and you want your child to be able to go and have fun and participate but ultimately you have to do what you feel is best as a parent.

This is simply my advice to all of you as you go through this- do what you feel is best for your child and your family.  Huh.  That certainly sounds familiar doesn't it?  Pretty sure that's always been my advice when it comes to marriage, motherhood, education and the like.  It's good advice and worth repeating.

Do what you feel is best for your child and for your family.

Period.

So no- the kiddo won't be going to the entire birthday party but he will still be able to attend a portion of it and help his friend celebrate his special day.  The husband and I are happy with this arrangement and the kiddo is just excited to be able to participate in some way.  For us, this works.  We understand it might not be for everyone and that quite a few simply won't understand our desire to continue to shelter our child.  As he gets older, we will continue to re-evaluate each situation just as we've always done but for now, these are our rules for navigating the kid parties, sleepovers and invitations from friends.

Best of luck to you as you navigate this tricky business as well.

Ugh. Soccer Moms.

Let me first preface this post by saying that I am a Soccer Mom.  Technically.  

The kiddo has been playing soccer for 7 years now and for the last 2 years, we do almost year round soccer.  We take a break around Christmas time for about a month and then again in June and July- but that's it.  Soccer is clearly a big part of our lives.

In these past 7 years- I have seen quite a bit of "Soccer Mom" craziness.  Unbelievable stuff really....recently we had one Mom walk by the husband and I at a game and do the old, "scratch an itch on my face with my middle finger" routine.  Which we all know means they are passive aggressively flipping you off.  And then, as soon as I walked to the car- she bumped up next to the husband and started flirting with him.  WHAT?!?

But this last one really takes the cake.  Let's discuss details folks because it's gonna be good!

Snack schedule.  Ah- nothing is more coveted then the stupid snack schedule.  Kids get excited about it being their turn to bring snacks. the snacks have to be "cool" and full of junk, sign up sheets, reminders, harassment....ah yes, snacks.

Our team has always done the snack schedule online on our team website.  Yes, we have a website.  So I waited a few weeks to give the other Moms time to sign up and then logged on the website and picked a day.  The kiddo always likes to bring snacks as close to Halloween as possible and so this is the date that I usually sign up for.  This year was no exception- October 31st, our turn to bring snacks.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm literally rushed by two of the Soccer Moms while at team picture day, who are all up in arms over the fact that I signed up to bring snacks on Halloween.  Apparently some of the new team Moms didn't know how to log on to the team website and sign up so they took it upon themselves to change the way we've done things for the last 5 years and distributed a paper sign up sheet.  Ok- no biggie.  Problem was that I wasn't at any of the first several games so I didn't see the actual paper sign up sheet.

Can you guess what happened next?

If you guessed that another Mom had already signed up for Halloween snacks- DING DING DING!  WE HAVE A WINNER.

So....being the gracious person that I am, I offered to bring snacks another day.  Sure, we had signed up first and done so the "correct" way via the team website and yes, the kiddo would be disappointed over not bringing Halloween themed snacks, but it simply wasn't worth an argument.  And truly- snacks are snacks mmkay...what do I care what day I bring them on?

I offered to switch days.  Other Soccer Mom declined.

Ugh.

She then stated that she had already bought some Halloween pencils for the kids and said she'd just hand those out to them in addition to the snacks we brought.  Great!  Problem solved.  Or was it?

As we got closer to the Halloween game day, Other Soccer Mom must have asked me 3 or  4 times if I was still bringing the snacks on Halloween.  It was during the last practice before the game that she let it drop that she was bringing full on goody bags.  GOODY BAGS.

Say what?!?

Our snack for game day.

So I then casually mentioned that I typically do a "goody bag" for our snack days and that I already had the goody bags covered.  It was our turn after all....and I had offered weeks ago to switch with her.

What happened next can only be described as "in very poor taste" as this Other Soccer Mom attempted to "one up" me on the Halloween snack day front.  Seriously- what grown women does this?!?

A Soccer Mom, that's who.

She lived up to her promise of full on goody bags.  Not only did they contain lots of candy and junk but there were also plastic fangs, a glow in the dark bat, the promised Halloween pencil, a skull eraser and more.  While I think this is AWESOME and a sweet thing to do for our boys for Halloween, I seriously wished she would have just told me she really wanted Halloween snack day.

The kids did not need both "snacks" and Other Soccer Mom had already had her turn.  The kiddo walked away from the field yesterday disappointed that his teammates were of course more interested in her plastic toys from China and little boxes of Nerds then they were about the snack he helped pick out.

It was just tacky.

So to all my fellow soccer Moms out there- when it comes to the freakin' snack schedule- if you REALLY want a particular day, then just say that.  If you plan on bringing goody bags full of junk on a day that another Mom has already signed up- DON'T.  Please take a moment to think about how this will make their kid feel.  Bringing snacks is a big part of soccer and game day for the younger kids and they enjoy being the kid who gets to hand out snacks that day.

And to the Other Soccer Mom from our team- I'm sure you didn't intend to step on any toes and hurt my child's feelings, but you totally did.  You seem to be a very nice woman and I understand you were simply trying to do something fun for our boys.  But next time, step back a moment and evaluate.  If you want a certain day, say it.  Truly, it would have been no big deal to switch days with you as I had offered.  It's only snacks.

Soccer Moms.

Ugh.

An Unexpected Real Life Disaster Drill

I have a few blog posts about being prepared and having your family ready for a disaster or other hardship.  In truth, I had thought my family was pretty darn prepared for just about anything that would come our way.

And then we got a lot of wind and our power went out for almost 10 hours.

Seems like nothing right?  Eh- 10 hours without power?  You'll live.  It's certainly not anything devastating.  No, no it's not.  But you guys- it was a much needed lesson for the entire family.  A really great disaster drill if you will.

A little background-

Earlier in the week we had lost power for the day.  Seriously, I have NO idea why and it appeared to be just my little neighborhood.  Since they were doing construction at the main intersection, I simply figured it was attributed to this.  No biggie.  The kiddo was at camp all morning so he didn't get to experience being without power for long.  Later, we went to the library so I could charge my phone and out to lunch and when we returned, the power came back shortly after.

But then over the weekend it was for casted to expect 60+ mile per hour winds, heavy rain and thunder and lightening storms.  Now- usually I just ignore these warnings.  I know....I know...but in my defense, we live in the Pacific Northwest.  These warnings occur almost weekly in the Fall and Winter and well....the news crews are a bit of hypochondriacs.

We've weathered storms much worse than this one and had no problems.  Since we have underground power lines, we almost never (see twice in almost 5 years) lose power so I figured we would be just fine.

What happened next had all the ingredients for an epic disaster.

The storm blew in hard and fast.  I had left work at noon to go pick up the kiddo from church with his Auntie and by the time we got home at 12:30 there were trees down everywhere.  Now, anyone knows that the first big storm of the season will blow all those loose leaves and limbs clean off- so it might look worse than it actually is.  Not the case here.  It was bad.  The kiddo was getting worried that it felt like the car was being pushed off the road and I wanted to get us home ASAP.

Literally two minutes after walking in the front door, the power went off.  Thank Goodness I had bought some tacos on the way home!

Now- here's the bad part.  If you've glossed over the story above, pay attention to this part.  This is where we learned all the lessons.

I had not gone to the grocery store in well over a week.  I should have gone on Friday but was simply too tired to deal with it.  Working non-stop will do that a Mama!  In addition to having a very bare looking fridge, we had also been eating out of our freezer/pantry as a part of our No Grocery Store Shopping Challenge.  So this meant that all those things like hot dogs, burgers, frozen lasagnas- yeah, we had eaten all of that good stuff.

I had nothing that I could BBQ (pretty much the only way to cook when you don't have power) and I didn't even have the makings for a sandwich.  Although we rarely have sandwich fixings because we just don't eat them often but you get the idea here.  No food.  No bueno.

Moving on, I had NOT charged a single thing and I didn't have ANY backups.  I had been using my cell phone while at work all day and by 2pm it was pretty much dead.  Since the husband was out working in this awful weather, I wanted to save whatever battery I had left so we could reach each other if necessary.  We don't have a house phone.  While I was prepared enough to have a portable power bank, you need to charge those.  Apparently mine was dead.  Get the idea here?  Everything was dead.  Great.

We have BOBS but I can't reach them.  Oh.  My.  Word.  You guys, I'm an IDIOT.  These emergency bags are a bit on the heavy side and the husband put them way up high in the garage.  There's simply no way that I can easily access them.  Our hand crank radio, that can also charge things like your CELL PHONE, was out of my reach.  Gah.  The other items in there weren't really needed in the here and now but that hand crank radio- yeah, that would have been nice to have.

And finally, I had no idea where the husband had put all of our lanterns and super powerful flashlights.  While we do have a few of those teeny little cheap flashlights dispersed throughout the house, the really good ones- yeah, the husband holds on to those.  We also have several free standing lanterns and I could only find one.  Thankfully it wasn't dark yet but I was trying to get us set up for a long, dark night and all I had were the cheap flashlights (that aren't very bright) and a butt ton of candles.  While candles are great, with an active 10 year old boy and a hyper Rat Terrier running around, they are not ideal.

We have a generator but the husband had long ago rotated the gas.  While we do make sure to start it up and check it yearly, we hadn't refilled the gas in the gas cans yet.  We typically don't do this until the Fall begins in late September.  This meant that we while we had the equipment needed (ie. the generator) we lacked the fuel to actually use it.

Let's Recap:

• No food that could easily been prepared.  No cold options and nothing to BBQ.
• Almost no way to communicate.
• Completely dead electronics.
• Emergency supplies out of reach.
• Less than ideal lighting options.
• No fuel.

Thankfully the husband got home around 5pm.  He dug out the lanterns and good flashlights and the hand crank radio and then we decided to venture out in search of food, fuel and a few provisions.  Umm....yeah.  With over 500,000 people without power- we clearly weren't the only ones in the same situation.

First we tried our local grocery store.  They were open but with only limited emergency power.  The kiddo had great fun using his flashlight in the store and thought it was a great adventure!  The employees were covering all the perishables with plastic wrap and had completely sealed off anything in a freezer or refrigerator case.  A surreal sight for sure!  The deli was also closed.  So I was unable to buy any cold cuts for lunches and couldn't buy a single thing to BBQ.

I bought bread (we could at least make some PB & J's), apples, cereal and alcohol.  Hmph.  But the husband was less than thrilled at the idea of PB & J for dinner.  The grocery store also had a gas station attached.  But since they didn't have power either, this meant no gas.

We decided to venture a little further down the street to see if we could find a store and gas station with power.  Thankfully we came across one and only about 10 minutes out.  Sweet!  I bought some hot dogs to BBQ, stuff to make sandwiches for lunch the following day and pre-popped popcorn for a snack.  Ick.  Healthy right?  The husband was able to fill up at the adjoining gas station while we were inside shopping.  On our way out, we noticed that one of our most favorite restaurants was open so we decided to place a take out order and save the hot dogs for the following day.  I was sure that with this many people without power, it would be awhile before it was restored.  This way, we had food for the next day and could get a hot meal for tonight.

Gah.  Worst decision ever.

We waited well over an hour (even though they only told us 20 minutes) and I'm sure this was actually much faster than others in similar situations.  I heard that many of the restaurants open had a wait time of 2 or more hours.  Holy Buckets.

Tired.  Hungry.  Bored.  I'm over it.

The kiddo enjoyed eating by candlelight and he even took a shower by lantern light.  Thankfully by the time he was out of the shower, the power had been restored.  Praise Jesus!

Let's highlight the good:

• We had plenty of flashlights, extra batteries, candles, lighters and matches.  Proper lighting was never an issue.  We just needed to find them all!
• We did have a hand crank radio that runs on solar as well and can charge your electronics.
• I had purchased a back up power bank prior.  Next time I just need to make sure it's fully charged.
• We had plenty to keep us occupied.  Books, games, portable DVD player etc.
• We had alternate means of cooking via the BBQ and had plenty of lighter fluid and charcoal on hand.  Sadly, just nothing to throw on the grill.
• We have plenty of emergency supplies and fully stocked BOBS.
• If the credit/debit machines were down, we had enough cash on hand to buy a few necessities.

This entire 10 hours proved to be a great learning experience!  Seriously, think about it.  If you were to loose power right this very second, would you be prepared?  The answer for our house is that in general we are very prepared.  However, since we typically don't worry about wind storms we were simply not as ready as we usually are.

If I could say anything to you, it would be to simply encourage you to think NOW about becoming prepared for LATER.  Because I can promise you that one day, later will happen and you'll need to be ready.

Want to read more?  Check out my previous posts about Emergency Preparedness.

• Do You Have a Car BOB?
• The First 72 Are On You.
• It's An Emergency!