Convo's In The Car- Learning Happens In the Everyday

If you are a regular over on the Facebook page, you've seen me post "Convos in the Car."  These are perhaps one of my most favorite regular segments.  Although "Hey Girl Fridays" are super fun!

Convos in the Car is the idea that we can take tiny and unassuming moments to TEACH our children.  They reinforce the concept that learning happens in the everyday and that sometimes the simplest moments (like riding in the car) can have a big and lasting impact on our children.

For that reason- I just LOVE Convo's in the Car!

Here is the latest one I shared about 9-11.  This conversation was prompted from a bumper sticker the kiddo saw and the questions he asked me after.  We then went home and did more learning on The Google.  The learning happened in an organic way and the result was important and good.

Convos in the Car:

Kiddo- Mom, I thought only a couple hundred people died in 9-11?

Me- No child. THOUSANDS died. Almost 3,000 I believe and easily double that were hurt very badly.

Kiddo- But how?

Me- Well, the World Trade Center was a VERY big building. I went up in it once while in high school, I think it was the tallest building in New York City. Over 100 floors high. Think of all the people that would hold. Think of everyone just working & visiting the building that day. Then remember all the people on the planes.

Kiddo- On the planes?

Me- Yes. Two planes FULL of people. Plus the one in the Pentagon that everyone seems to forget. Those planes crashed & everyone died.

Kiddo- Everyone? How many people are on a plane?

Me- I don't know- lots. We can Google it when we get home. But it wasn't just the people in the planes & the building. Remember all the people who came to help. Many of those people lost their lives too.

Kiddo- Wow....That's a lot of people.

Me- Yeah, it was....

*This convo was prompted from a bumper sticker the kiddo saw on a truck in front of us. "We Will Never Forget" happens when we continue to speak & educate our children about the tragedy that occurred that day, when we take the available opportunities to really TALK about what happened & why, when we remember the everyday folks who died & the impact their deaths had on their loved ones & the community.

Can I encourage you to seek out & jump on these moments? It's important.

#NotAllLessonsComeFromATextbook
#RaiseThemUp

I Could Never Do That

A phrase that I hear all the time is "you homeschool? I could never do that!" and I have to be honest and say that can really irritate me sometimes.

Why?

Because I simply don't feel like I'm doing something special and amazing and over the top.  This comment, "I could never do that" implies that I'm doing something most people can't.  But the truth is that I'm just doing something most people won't.

When we first started on our homeschooling journey almost 9 years ago now, I was nervous and had my doubts that we could really do this.  But I soon learned that it's not all that difficult- at least not to the extent I had built it up in my mind.  Especially in those early years when children learn mainly through play- it's just all about exposure and lots of play time and reading.  Done and Done.

While I will admit that we've had some struggles along our journey (learning to read, fractions, etc) it has never been something so difficult and trying that I'm willing to throw in the towel and admit defeat.  It is simply an extension of our parenting.

If your child is acting a fool and refuses to do his chores, do you just throw up your hands and say "OK son" or do you buckle down and teach them it's not an option?  When your kids are cranky and don't want to go to bed early, do you allow them to stay up even later?  Or do you handle your business like a MOM and get those temperamental children on the path to dreamland?

Homeschooling is exactly the same.

When my kid throws a fit because he doesn't think he can learn how to multiple those fractions, we sit down and we go through it together.  When he whines about his geography work or laments that fact that those spelling exercises are pointless- I do not just give up and let him run the show.  Just as I wouldn't do with traditional "parenting issues", I take the same approach for our homeschool.

I'm not doing anything differently.

I take the same approach to education as I do to the rest of my parenting.  My job is to cultivate, encourage, support, provide, uplift in ALL THE AREAS.  This isn't extraordinary- this is simply called parenting.

And every single one of you CAN do it if this is what you desire.

Please don't let your fear of the unknown overwhelm you.  Have confidence in your ability to raise a good child and know that homeschooling is simply an extension of what you are already doing.

So now when someone says to me "Oh but I could never do that", I smile and respond, "you'd be surprised what you can do."

Open Letter to the Mama PROUD of Feeding Her Kids Crap

OOHHHH Lord.

Y'all, I read this recent article over on Scary Mommy thinking I was trapped in a Ashton Kutcher episode of Punk'd a la Parent Edition because surely this business would have been better suited for say, The Onion.

I simply couldn't believe what I was reading and then I got all sorts of FIRED UP because....well...that's just how I roll.

So let's just dive right into the deep end on this one shall we?  In case you missed it, I am referencing the article, My Kids Eat Fast Food (And I'm Not Ashamed) by Elizabeth Broadbent.  Click the link people and then come on back so we can sip a cup of tea and dish.

Ready?

Let's preface by saying that all of us Mama's feel the parenting pressure.  ALL.  OF.  US.  Dearest Elizabeth, you are not alone darling and for that- I legit understand where you are coming from.  No joke- I get it.  Juggling parenting, kids, sports, activities, regular feeding time at the zoo, a semi clean house, the never ending laundry, keeping the husband happy- holy buckets but it's a lot.  And bonus- YOU'RE A HOMESCHOOLING MAMA.  So when you say that you roll on through the drive thru window FIVE TIMES per week- I can kind of understand where you're coming from.  Maybe....just a small little bit....eh...

But here's the truth.

Mama, you have flat out given up.

Let's have a COME TO JESUS moment up in here.  You have overloaded yourself, your house is NOT in order and your precious babies are the casualty.  Oh- and you yourself, yeah YOU, are most likely addicted to salt and sugar.

First of all, while it's been awhile since I've been to a fast food establishment, I don't ever remember their being kale salads that were actually healthy (meaning without all the added crap you dump on them to make them palatable) or could I ever imagine seeing adorable little faces actually EATING the said kale salad.  Further, children don't typically split a small order of anything unless they are opposed to eating.  And since when is a drive thru nugget somehow BETTER for you than a frozen, micro nuked nugget?  Yeah- sorry Mama but I'm gonna call bullshit.  Your children are not "downing a good meal" but rather giving themselves lifelong health issues like high blood pressure and diabetes.

Your kids are eating crap and you are buying it for them and your proud of it.  That's the real truth here.  So let's not try and hide under a fake disguise of "healthy" nuggets, buckets of syrupy sweet "fruit" salad and claims that children eat kale salad at a fast food joint.  PUH-LEEZE.  Let's just assume we are all smart enough to realize that this is complete and utter bullshit.  You knew it the moment you wrote it.  Bullshit.

Now let's get into the time factor.  I'm with you on this one Mama.  But here's where you lost me- because if I can work 50+ hours per week (real jobs mind you), homeschool, shuttle my child to karate, soccer, football, PE class and mother truckin' swim lessons all while keeping my husband satisfied, my house fairly clean, the crazy dog in order, laundry under wraps AND STILL COOK HEALTHY FOOD at least six nights per week then by GOD anyone can do it.  Even you darling.

And please note, I am not expecting miracles.  I get we all have different skill sets and cooking isn't one of yours.  My poor Mother suffered the same affliction.  But with three small children and a busy household to run, she still managed to put some mother truckin' GOOLOUSH on the dinner table mmkay....

You my dear are NO busier than any of us.  What you simply lack is time management skills.  And you're most likely a little lazy.

Yeah- I said it.

Because the truth is that I am busy.  This season of my life is BUSY.  I do not possess this imaginary thing call "free time" unless I get up at 5am and MAKE IT.  And even then, it's negotiable because there is always something I could be doing.  Seriously- my to do list is long and at times, exhausting.  Welcome to Motherhood dearest Elizabeth but true lazy people take the easy way out on the regular.  And believe me when I say to you that I have my lazy moments- we all do.  No harm or judgments here mmkay....but here's where we differ.  Your lazy moments are not once or twice a month but rather, FIVE TIMES A WEEK.  And while we are laying it all out here, I'm going to go out on a limb here and hazard a guess that the FIVE times is conservative.

Here's the thing- you gotta figure your shit out Mama because your family is suffering.

Prep meals while doing schoolwork with your kids.  Yes, this is possible.  Especially since I read that your children are all 5 and under.  I'm sorry but from one homeschooling Mama to another- this is by far the easiest age to homeschool.  If you can't do it now, you are going to have some REAL issues in another couple years.

Set yourself up to succeed with a chore list and a schedule.  Reward yourself with a sweet tea straight in your vein if necessary but for all that's Holy, figure it out.

Fucking LEARN how to cook simple foods.  Even my husband, who is allergic to the kitchen, is capable of opening a jar of organic marinara and boiling some pasta.  Cut open a bag of salad and you're good to go.  It is this easy and it's faster than loading your kids up in the car and driving down to the McDonald's.  Cheaper too.

Stop going to the drive thru for every single thing.  Mama, you need another sweet tea like I need 10 more pounds around my middle.  Knock this shit off.

Learn the word NO.  Dude, if you can't hack it at this stage, what the hell is going to happen when your children are teenagers?  Like, for reals?  I'm scared for you.  Embrace your inner Mean Mommy and let it fly.

Stop making excuses.  I simply don't buy the "running around" business.  All of us Mama's, homeschooling ones even more so, spend hours upon hours in our cars shuttling our children all over God's green earth.  And there just so happens to be the amazing thing called a COOLER in which you can pack food inside for your children to eat later.  And did you know Mama, that at grocery stores or convienence stores you can use the microwave for FREE.  Like, you can pack up some leftovers in the COOLER and swing on by the grocery store to heat that business up.  Or you could just make another PB & J.  Whatevs.

For the Love, please find a park.  Stop meeting up at the local fast food place so you can surf Facebook and talk shit with other Mom's while your children guzzle the chemical concoction you call "food".  Do it at the park and pack a mother truckin' picnic.  You might also try taking along some educational shit because you know...homeschooling....

Find the Google and research "diet and ADD" and then research "diet and hyperactivity."  You Mama are literally setting your children up to fail.  The road you've created for them is sure to be a rough one because you couldn't or wouldn't find the time to put some pretzels in a Ziplock and stop your drive thru addiction.  You are a smart cookie based upon your ability to write a coherent article so there is simply NO EXCUSE for you to continue to ignore this very real health issue.

And PS- a drive thru lemonade is NOT made up of just lemons and sugar.  Oh Sweet Jesus but the laugh I had at this one.  So while you're cruising the Google, you should probably research all the crap that's actually in the "food" you are feeding your children.  Especially all those "industrial-fried potatoes" y'all are eating.  Better yet- I'll save you some time.  In addition to the non GMO (you should probably just go ahead and Google what a GMO is) potatoes, you've also got unhealthy oils, like cancer causing oils- dimethylpolysiloxane (a chemical agent used to prevent cooking oil from foaming and most commonly found in SILLY PUTTY), a PETROL based chemical called tertiary butylhydroquinone, sodium acid pyrophosphate, dextrose and a whole load of other crap.  Yum...eat up or continue to stick your head in the sand.  No biggie, it's just your children's life on the line.

Stop over feeding your children.  After making 12 pieces of toast at home, you're then in the drive thru ordering hash browns, eggs and sides of bacon?!?  Say what?  And please for the LOVE, explain to me why when they "demand snacks" you think the drive thru is the appropriate place to go?  Mama- c'mon.  Are you not capable of throwing a couple apples or a banana in your purse?

Bottom line- you are not alone.  We ALL use conveniences like the drive thru.  But the fact that you are proud to go there at least five times per week does set you up in a class all by yourself.  This is NOT normal and it is NOT acceptable.  Stop being proud of this- please.

The drive thru is meant as an occasional treat.  Not a daily stop.  And the damage you are doing to yourself AND your children is beyond ridiculous.  In fact, I'm just gonna come right out and say it- it's child abuse.  Book your tickets to the Maury Show because in another couple years, this is where you'll be.

And lastly please- do NOT use homeschooling as an excuse.  While I am certainly understanding and perhaps even a bit sympathetic to your plight, the truth is that the majority of us homeschooling Mama's have our shit together.  We RUN CIRCLES around pretty much anyone we encounter.  Most folks could NEVER do in a week what we accomplish in a day.  True story.  And yet, with all we have on our plates, we still manage to put a fairly decent meal there too on the regular.

Sincerely,

The Mom Who Occasionally Feeds Her Kid Crap and Is NOT Proud of that Shit

Measuring the Immeasurable

When you homeschool, there are SO many moments in time that reinforce to you that you are making the right choice.  It's hard to even put these moments into words and even more difficult to explain them to the peanut gallery.

Today, a moment happened.  Like so many other days before....but I just wanted to stop and share it with all of you.  Here's what I posted over on the Facebook page.

The kiddo & his trusty sidekick, Buddy Boy.
Because "dogs make everything better."

The kiddo just completed a mini science lesson & was walking to the couch full of complaints.

"My back hurts."
"My gut hurts."
"I'm tired."

He sat down, turned on the rest of his movie, Air Buddies, called for his trusty sidekick Buddy Boy & promptly snuggled under his blanket.

Then I hear- "dogs make everything better Mom."

GOOD LORD but this may be the sweetest thing ever. And you know what- I'm here. I get to see this & experience this because we homeschool.

Sometimes it's hard to express to people all those immeasurable benefits to homeschooling. How do you put this moment into words? You can't except to say that we are BLESSED to live this life.

Because Homeschooling.

Answering a Few Questions

So recently I've had a few folks reach out to me and say things like-


Why are you talking about food on your Facebook page?

You need to dedicate more to homeschooling, I don't want all the other stuff.

I don't understand why you post about marriage stuff all the time.

I thought this was a page about homeschooling?


And so the comments go....Well, I thought it was time that I addressed them and I'm doing it here for all to see.


#1- This is my blog and subsequently my Facebook page.  The content I choose to share is my choice.  Simply put, it's mine and I can do whatever I want to.  My goal has been and always will be to encourage others.

#2- I value your input and take notice of things you want to see more of and also less of, but ultimately it doesn't change the fact that this is my page/blog.

#3- Yes, this is most definitely a page/blog dedicated to homeschooling.  But it's also about the JOURNEY of homeschooling and how it relates to marriage and motherhood.

#4- I post about food because I hope to encourage others to get healthy and think about what they are putting in their bodies.  This is my right.  If you don't wish to see it, I completely understand.

#5- This page/blog is also focused on marriage.  Having a strong marriage will lead to a strong family.  It is our goal to encourage couples in their marriage as they travel this path of homeschooling and life.

Perhaps the most important thing to realize is that this page/blog is very much about our journey.  It's pretty much an electronic diary.  I don't have all the answers, I'm still figuring it out, my marriage isn't perfect, sometimes my kid is a butt, homeschooling is hard, laundry piles up- it's the journey you guys.  Good Lord but this life is hard and it's good....My hope is that being a part of this community will help you and encourage you just as much as it's done for me.

Thanks for being here!

The Homeschooled Housewife

Your Kid Isn't At Grade Level

Well crap.

I guess I'm just a total failure as a homeschool Mom then eh?  Yeah, no.  Sorry but I simply don't subscribe to this whole "grade level" business and in truth, have never really felt the need to be too concerned about it.

Crazy right?

So here's the story- the kiddo takes a math class through Edmonds Heights K-12, our homeschool program.  It's one of several classes he takes and it is simply a supplemental class to help support the schoolwork and learning going on at home.  It meets for one hour once per week- so yeah, clearly nothing too strenuous here.

We are about a month into this class and already the instructor has emailed me 4 times.  Sigh....really?  While I certainly appreciate her enthusiasm, it is a tad irritating.  Her latest email stated what a great kid William was, how focused he is in class, how he participates and stays on task....and I'm thinking "GREAT!  This is all good stuff right?  So what's the problem here?"  Well it turns out that these darn weekly packets that she sends home, he's just not completing them fully.

Math is some tricky business mmkay....

Since he's not showing his work and answering completely in the manner she wants- she's deemed him to be behind grade level and wants to have an "intervention" to discuss my homeschooling philosophy.  I should also mention that she previously told the kids in her class NOT to have a parent help them with these packets and it appears that she doesn't give very clear instructions on exactly what she wants done.  Either that or the kiddo is simply tuning her out....neither of which are good.

So next week I will be meeting with her to discuss the kiddo's struggle because we all know the struggle is real y'all and to talk about how we homeschool.

Ugh.  I'm just a bit over it all at this point.  I don't have to explain myself or how my family does things to anyone if I don't want to and seriously- I'm not even one little bit concerned that my child may or may not be behind grade level.  Who cares?  He'll get where he needs to be when he's ready.  He's paying attention in her class, he's focused, he's completing these same math problems correctly at home and understanding the concepts so really- what's the big friggin' deal?!?

Next week should be interesting y'all....

And for those of you asking the big fat question- "Why even have him in a math class to begin with?" well here's your answer-  I suck at math.  The husband is equally suck-tastic at math.  And because we both suck, we want to make sure the kiddo doesn't suck as well.  Yep.  That about covers it.  Our thinking here is that these math classes give him a little extra help and push in an area that his parents do not excel at and because he's expressed interest in being an engineer when he grows up, he's going to need all the help in math that he can get.  But I'll be honest and say that at this point, I'm seriously reconsidering these math classes.

So for those of you currently knee deep in the "grade level" struggle please know this- your kid will learn at the pace that is right for them.  They will excel in some areas and at other times, fall behind in other subjects. This is 100% normal.  Your kid is fine and you are doing a good job- you are not a failure.

I repeat, YOU.  ARE.  NOT.  A.  FAILURE.

It'll all be OK, I promise you.  Just hang in there, keep at it, relax a bit and just enjoy the process.  This is the true beauty of homeschooling.  You got this.

PS- I'll post a follow up story next week about my "intervention".  Should be good y'all....should be good...

We Love Teachers!

Why?

Perhaps the most asked question rivaled only by the "socialization" issue when it comes to homeschooling.  So really- why did we chose to homeschool?

I've talked a bit about it before but the truth is that there's really no one single answer.  We homeschool for many different reasons.  We value our time as a family, flexibility, we believe the educational system is flawed, less homework or none at all, no early wakeups or late nights, we wanted control over the content of our child's education, the ability to shelter our child, more time to spend on things that are of interest, not worrying about conforming or following rules we don't agree with...see- told you there's lot of reasons why.  And that's not even the whole list!

But no where on this list did I mention that we chose to homeschool because we don't like teachers.  Not for one single moment has this ever factored into our decision to homeschool.

You see- we LOVE teachers in this house mmkay....we firmly believe that the majority of teachers are doing the best they can in a difficult situation and continue to plug along day in and day out because they care SO much about our children.  Tell me- who wouldn't love someone that dedicated?

Teachers are the unsung heroes of our world.  They sacrifice, they love, they provide, they heal, they support, they encourage but most importantly- they teach.  In an educational system that has not worked for decades, with parents who now rely on schools to parent their children, under extreme financial hardships and the hideousness that is common core- they teach.

Just because we don't personally send our child out into this system doesn't mean we can't understand and appreciate all that you do.  So teachers- please hear me when I say this to you:

Our decision to homeschool has nothing to do with you.  To the wonderful and dedicated teachers out there we simply say, Thank You.

Answering the Why

Let's just begin by asking this question:

Why do we even need a reason to homeschool?

Let's just stop and think on that one a moment, yeah?  How many times over the years have you been asked "Why do you homeschool?"  Really- how many?

In comparison, how many times do you think public school parents are asked, "Why do you send them to public school?"  I bet the answer is none.  Seriously- I'm pretty confident that most public schoolers have NEVER been asked "Why".

Why do you suppose this happens?  When you stop and think about it- public school is the relative "new comer" to the education front.  Homeschooling, home education- well it's been around a lot longer and yet it's somehow viewed as this new movement.  Yeah, I just don't understand that one.

We as homeschoolers should NOT have to answer this question.  We should NOT have to explain our choice to educate our children at home.  If public schoolers don't have to answer and explain their choices, then why do we?  But the reality is, that we kind of do.  For the moment, we may be the only interaction some people have with homeschoolers and so its up to us to leave them with a good impression.  How else will their preconceived notions of us change?

So for now- we do have to answer the "Why" and here's how I do it-

"It's the best choice for our family."

That's it.  Simple.  Easy.  As non judgemental as possible, straight to the point.  Over and out.

My advice to you all is to think of a sentence, a phrase, a quick answer that you can say to people when you are asked this question.  Most will accept what you say and that will be it.  A select few will be naturally curious and ask you more questions in an interest to learn even more.  I love when this happens!  And sadly, there will be some who will continue a barrage of judgemental questions in an effort to pick apart your choice to homeschool.  Just ignore those folks.

So- why do you homeschool?

My answer:  Because its the best choice for my family.

What will your answer be?

We Homeschool Year Round

I posted a question over on the Facebook page today asking, "How Do You Homeschool?"

A. Same as the public school calendar.
B.  Year Round.
C.  We make it up as we go.
D.  Cram everything into a few months & we're done.
E.  Misc/Other/We don't homeschool.

For the most part, it was a pretty even mix of A, B and C.  What surprised me was just how many of you are homeschooling year round- I totally thought we were the only weirdos doing this!  BWHAHAHA!

So, why do we personally homeschool year round?  Why not follow the local public schoolers?  Why make my child do school work in the summer time?  Why oh why oh why....

Here's the answer-

It's what works best for us.

BOOM!  And there you have it!  Do what works best for your family and don't make any apologies for it!  We tried following the public school calendar and I simply felt that we weren't getting enough done.  I also felt the pressure to constantly be "staying on task" and it just became too much.  We then tried "powering" through and trying to get everything done in a short amount of time so that we could then have summer off.  Well....that didn't work for us either.  The kiddo wasn't really retaining all that information coming at him, I was getting frustrated and it was simply NO fun!

To be honest, I don't know why we didn't just homeschool year round from the very beginning.  Our pace is much more relaxed, it fits in with our family's lifestyle, there's no rushing to get ahead to the next thing, we can slow down and really explore the kiddo's interests and on and on it goes.  But perhaps the #1 reason why we love to homeschool year round is because we all know that the learning never stops.  As homeschoolers- we are learning every day, all day.  Each moment is seen as a learning opportunity and we are constantly looking for the educational value and teachable moment in every single thing.  Seriously- I'm not kidding here.  So homeschooling year round just makes sense.

This is what we do now.  It might change.  It might not.  And that's the true beauty of homeschooling.  So how do you homeschool?

Summer Reading Challenge

A few weeks ago, the kiddo declared that he was going to read 10,000 pages this summer.  While I certainly thought it was an awesome goal- I knew that it would never happen without some way to keep track of all those pages and a few incentives along the way.

So was born, William's Summer Reading Challenge.  The idea is simple, create a visual where your child can keep track of their pages read throughout the summer and make notes of the rewards along the way.

• Our challenge begins with 3,000 pages.
• Each reward is at the 1,000, 2,000 and 3,000 mark.
• The rewards build up in value as you get higher on the challenge.
• Have your kids come up with the rewards so it ensures they will work towards the goal.
• For each 100 pages read, the kiddo must do 3 things.  #1- Write down the name of the book.  #2- Write down the exact pages read.  #3- Summarize to me what he's read.

Today marks our first official day of the Summer Reading Challenge.  The kiddo is SUPER EXCITED to get started and has declared that we need a trip to the library so he can "stock up on lots of books."  Let's hope we can keep this momentum going all summer long!

PS- I made this super cute "reading thermometer" with an recycled paper grocery bag and some of the kiddo's construction paper.  No need to go out and buy supplies to make this- just you what you already have at home!  The lines or "temperature" is drawn at the 100 page mark, so for every section, he must fill in the name of the book and the pages read.  The title at the top reads, "How Hot Will Your Summer Be?"  

Pure awesome you guys!  Summer reading, here we come!!!!

I am FIRED UP- the sequel

Yesterday I posted about a situation that had occurred with kiddo and one of his teacher's at his homeschool program.  Today, I'm going to tell you about the phone call and the subsequent conversations with the kiddo and husband.

Here's what was posted over on the Facebook page yesterday.

You guys- I am FIRED UP!!!

Here's the situation-

The kiddo takes a math class at our local homeschool program. This math class supplements his home learning. He's struggled with the teacher & has felt that she unfairly singles him out. He's also felt that other kids are making fun of him & when he stands up for himself, he gets in trouble but not the offenders.

Basically- he's feeling disrespected & NOT supported by the teacher.

We've talked with the kiddo about the entire situation. We as parents acknowledge that sometimes kids & teachers will not always "mesh" but that a teacher is still someone to be respected. They are simply doing the very best they can. We LOVE teachers in this home mmkay...So, we have chosen to use this as a life lesson for the kiddo & trusted him to tell us when something went wrong. I will also add that we trusted the teacher to reach out to us as parents if she was having difficulty- she has not.

With that being said, today pushed me over the edge. The kiddo came to me after class & said the teacher embarrassed him & pulled him outside during class. He was sitting with some friends & these boys were becoming an issue & started swearing & saying inappropriate things.

You guys- these boys are 10-12 years old. I expect a certain amount of this to occur. The kiddo tells me that while he was sitting with them & participating in some of the conversation, he was not swearing. Now- I'm not so naive to believe that my child is 100% innocent but when he tells me that he honestly didn't do something- I BELIEVE HIM. This is a Mother's job, right? And I know that my child doesn't not lie. Anyone who knows him IRL, knows that he is embarrassingly honest- lying is simply not part of his DNA.

So the teacher pulls him outside & accuses him of swearing & behaving inappropriately. She does NOT do this with the students who actually did the offense. He told her he didn't do this but she continued. Rather than argue with someone who he's been told he needs to respect- he simply apologized & went back in to class.

This situation backs up everything that the kiddo has been telling me throughout the entire year. I feel like I failed my child. I should have done more for him with this teacher. He clearly needed assistance in dealing with her & I didn't listen & respect what he was telling me. I chose to place my faith & trust in this woman to do right by my child. I was wrong.

So....I have sent the teacher an email & asked her to call me at her earliest convenience today. My plan is to simply ask her what happened, tell her that I believe my child was being honest when he said he didn't do this & tell her that she owes him an apology. Oh- and I expect this not to happen again.

Am I over reacting? Because, well....I know you'll find this hard to believe but sometimes I can be a bit "dramatic". What would you do in this situation?

And here's what happened after.

I emailed the teacher again after dinner because I had yet to hear from her all day.  I was upset gosh darn it and I wanted to discuss it immediately.  Yeah- patience is SO not my thing!  She returned my call while we were at Karate at the YMCA, so I stepped outside so I could speak privately with her.

You guys- you'll be so impressed.  I was such an adult about this and simply asked her what had happened yesterday in class.  BTW- I was NOT happy that she had pulled my child out to speak with him privately and never thought to inform the parents about this incident.  But I digress...

Here's what she had to say-

She heard William say "Mother Fucker" when speaking with a group of boys at his table.  She informed me that on Monday there was a guest teacher and that she had left notes and had observed William's table swearing and behaving inappropriately.  As a result, his teacher stated that she was extra sensitive in listening and observing them the next class time.  She said that she pulled him out and told him that was inappropriate and that he apologized. She also stated that she has "never in her entire career had to pull a child outside the classroom for such inappropriate behavior and harsh words".

Ok.....to say that I was surprised to hear this was an understatement.  I fully realize that my child can act out and is not a perfect angel.  Yeah- I'm aware.  But this word, this "F" word- it simply isn't something he says.  When he's really pushing the boundaries, the worst he'll say is "crap" to which he immediately gets reprimanded.  The "F" word, is simply not something he says.

I asked her a few questions.  Did you physically see William swear?  She did not.  So basically, it's possible you heard one of the other boys and immediately jumped on William as the culprit.  William said that it was the other boys at his table that were swearing- why did you not take them outside as well?  Did William admit to doing this?  Her answer- no but he apologized.

I ended the phone conversation by stating that William had struggled with her as a teacher the entire year but that I had assumed it was just normal stuff.  Math isn't his favorite subject and this year there were LOTS of new, harder concepts so I just assumed it was the content he was struggling with and since she was the unlucky one to help deliver it- she was the recipient of his angst.  She stated that she didn't feel it was that bad for him in class, which is why she never reached out to me, and that she thought things were getting better between them and that he was vastly improved.  Yeah- a whole different story that what I was hearing.

I apologized to her for his behavior, thanked her for the phone call and asked her to reach out to me if anything else occurred in the future.  Wow- I'm so proud of my adult self!  And the Mama Bear in me was very much restrained- GO ME!

Later that night, when we got home, the husband and I spoke with the kiddo.  I relayed the information to him and asked him to think on how I could be getting a much different story from his teacher.

Here's what the kiddo had to say:

On Monday (with the guest teacher) he was whispering to the boys at his table about what someone from Clash of Clans called him.  You might remember...we banned this game recently because of the inappropriate language and the online chat content.  He spelled it out for me because it didn't want to say the word.  F-U-C-L-E-R.  "Maybe this is how the teacher thought I said that other word Mom.  But that's all I said and that was on Monday.  I never even said any bad words or did anything yesterday when my teacher was there."  Hmm....

So I asked him exactly what happened on Wednesday during class time.  He said that he was sitting at his table and talking with his friends and his teacher walked right up to him and said that his behavior was completely inappropriate and said "come here" and motioned him outside.  He said one of his friends said "crap" but that was it.

Two different stories.  One from my child- who I know.  One from a teacher- who I'm supposed to trust.  What's a Mama to do?

We sent the kiddo to bed by telling him that we believed what he was saying to us but regardless- he was still saying words close to bad words and perhaps not staying as on task in the classroom as he should be doing.  I'm pretty sure he was taking full advantage of having a guest teacher in the classroom....We told him we expected improvement in this area.

The husband and I reached a conclusion.  Something clearly wasn't adding up here.  My Mama gut instinct was telling me that the kiddo was right all along.  This teacher had, for some reason, singled him out.  Why else would she take only him outside the classroom and not any of the other boys?!?  BUT- and here's the real issue....I believe that his teacher read the notes from the guest teacher and came after William the first chance she got.  I do not believe for one minute that she heard my child say Mother Fucker.  This is not something he says, it's just not.  She clearly had no intention to inform me of what had happened and when I literally called her on it, she was forced to make something up to cover her behind.

The kiddo told me that he apologized to her because he didn't want to incur any more of her wrath.  While I think he may be a bit dramatic here, I do think that his feelings were valid.  He kept asking me, "what can I do Mom? She's a teacher and I'm just a kid."

Here's what we told the kiddo-

Always apologize if you are in the wrong.  Always.

You do not have to take the blame for something you didn't do.

It's OK to question teachers and other adults, even those in authority.

Children have rights too.  You have the right to ask specifically what it is that you did wrong.  You have the right to say you don't agree and you have the right to ask for your parent to be present and called.


I am still very much FIRED UP!  I believe my child.  I am sure he did or said something out of line on Monday when there was a guest teacher but I do not believe that he said the "F" word in front of his teacher on Wednesday.  I am proud of him for telling me right after it happened.  I am disappointed in his teacher that she didn't feel this was important enough to reach out to me.  I am also pretty certain that his teacher is not being honest- which is of course extremely sad as she's in a position of role model for these children.

Bottom line- there's one month left of classes.  We will encourage the kiddo to continue with his obligations because that's what we do.  However, we will be closely watching and the husband has said he will sit in on a few classes.  Nothing like a 6'2 bear of a man to dissuade any poor behavior mmkay....We have instructed the kiddo that one of the boys at his table is a bad influence and he agrees- he will no longer be sitting with this boy.  But most importantly- the trust with this teacher is lost.  I would like to believe in the good in people and so I'm hoping that this is just a situation of misunderstanding all around.  I don't believe there's any negative intentions on the teacher's part but the fact remains, her story isn't adding up.  At the end of the day, a Mother should always believe in her child.  Period.  I will no longer be signing the kiddo up for any of her classes.

Done and done.

Does This Get Any Easier?

I'm asked all the time if this homeschooling business gets any easier.  The reality is that no, it doesn't.  It simply changes and evolves over time.  Teaching your children is hard.

But it's also the greatest single thing you will ever do.  Seriously- it is.

And I don't just say that because I'm being idealistic.  When your child struggles to learn how to read and you spend hours, seriously HOURS upon HOURS, working with them and then suddenly- they've figured it out.  There is really nothing better.  To know that your child can add and subtract in their head because you taught them how to do that.  The reason they know that our veterans are more important than football players- it's because of you.  All you.

So no.  It doesn't get any easier, it just changes.

When the kiddo was younger, I had to literally sit by his side for all schoolwork and quiet reading done at home.  During outside classes, I was also right there.  In the younger years, it was very time consuming.  But also very rewarding because we were forming the foundation of learning.

Now that he's a bit older and we've been doing this homeschooling thing for almost 7 years- I can say that it is very different from the way it started.  He no longer wants me in any outside classes with him.  He seeks me out only when he needs help with a specific problem or worksheet but that's about it.  He prefers to learn on his own.  However, because I'm not sitting by his side the entire time, I have to constantly stay on him about completing his daily tasks.

See- not easier, just different.

What I can tell you is that you will eventually reach a point where you think, "I've got this."  You will find your groove, I promise you.  And just remember that the really great thing about homeschooling is that if something isn't working, you can change it.  You are never locked in to one way of learning.  The beauty of being your child's educator is that you know immediately when something simply isn't going to cut it and you, yes YOU, can change it.

You can do this.

How do I know?

Simple- because I'm doing it.  And if I can do it, I know that anyone can.

Homeschool Prayer

It's been a particularly difficult week and it's only Tuesday.  Sigh....

So today I posted this prayer over on the Facebook page.  If you're struggling, please know that you aren't alone.  No one ever said this would be easy but I promise it will be worth it.

Lord,

Thank You for this blessing. For the ability to stay home with my child, to teach, to nurture, to guide.

Please continue to provide me the patience to carry on. To sit & explain the same exact thing day in and day out. To struggle side by side with my child as I fight to teach & they push to learn.

Give me the strength to shrug off the naysayers. The ability to focus on my child & his strengths as we battle both the highs & lows from learning at home.

Protect us as we travel this road less traveled. Forgive me my many, many mistakes as I struggle to be Wife, Mother & Homeschooler. For it is through you that all things are possible.

And when the load seems to much to bear, thank you Lord for giving me the wisdom to remember the why. The reason we call ourselves homeschoolers- because even in the struggle, there is joy.

Thank you Lord for this blessing.

Amen.

An Open Letter To Those Thinking About Homeschooling

Dearest Parents,

Let me first start this letter by saying, that I'm SO glad you're here and you're thinking about this "thing" called homeschooling.  It's scary, it's overwhelming and it's new.  A crazy new frontier is probably the best way to describe it so it's pretty amazing that you're at this point of decision.

So here's the deal.  I'm a homeschooling Mama.  I have officially been a homeschooling Mama for almost 7 years, so I can say with absolute certainty that you can do this because if I can do this, I know anyone can.  Did you hear that?

You.

Can.

Do.

This.

I am not a college graduate.  I don't have a degree in anything, especially a teaching degree.  I am not super duper smart.  But I'm a Mom.  I care about what's best for my child.  I have a desire that NO teacher ever will to see him succeed and develop a life long love of learning.  And that my dear parents is all you need.

But what about all those subjects you can't teach?  What about high school? Oh dear God what about socialization?

Sigh....good questions sure, so let's tackle some of them.

Show me a teacher that can teach every single subject known to man.  Really, let's find one.....ah....but they don't exist.  There is no one person who knows everything and is therefor qualified to teach everything.  So rest assured dear parents, that you can "out source" the difficult subjects.  There's amazing things called tutors, co-ops, classes etc so that it doesn't all rest on your over stressed shoulders.  Whew!  Now that's a relief!

And socialization.  Ah, yes....THE big question that we all hear when it comes to homeschooling.  Let me just tell you that it is proven (it's a fact Jack!) that homeschooled kids are WAY better socialized then their public school peers.  Think about it....public schoolers sit in a classroom all day with kids of their approximate age, exact grade level, maturity level and demographic.  Six plus hours a day, five days per week.  While homeschoolers are typically out in the community and interacting with the elderly, babies and toddlers, folks in different cities and economic levels, their own siblings, family members, other homeschoolers of all ages....really, the list goes on and on.  Now tell me- which form of socialization would you prefer for your child?

Now parents, I'm not going to lie to you.  Homeschooling is hard.  Probably the second hardest job behind being a parent, but can I just tell you that it's also the most rewarding job.  Seriously, it is.  I taught my child to read.  I taught him to write.  I struggled with him through 3 digit subtraction and addition.  I was there when the light bulb went off, I was there for all the questions, I was there to facilitate the learning.  Me.  And that my dear parents, you simply can't put a price on.

So for all of you struggling with this decision, let me just say this again.

You.

Can.

Do.

This.

Really, you can.  Don't be afraid to  make that leap.  Trust your gut and follow your heart because there is truly nothing better then teaching your children.  I promise that you won't ever regret it.

Sincerely,

The Homeschooled Housewife

The Daily Folder System

Ok, so you all know by now that we are eclectic homeschoolers that lean towards unschooling.  Eh- or maybe you don't.  What this looks like in action, can vary.  But on most days, we have goals that we would like to accomplish and then I simply leave the rest up to chance.  Our goals are fairly simple, Monday through Thursday the kiddo has classes to attend and then we aim for one hour of workbook or online learning and one hour of quiet reading.  From there, the kiddo is free to pursue his own ideas.

For years now, this has been working pretty well.  Some days, there's more home learning then others and many times he reads for way longer then just 60 minutes.  However, this year- it seems we've turned a corner.  Since September, I have spent the majority of the day yelling at the kiddo to get his workbook and reading done while he's spent his time NOT doing it.  It's a battle of wills in my house with no clear winner.

And so- I'm switching things up!  Ah- one of the many great benefits to homeschooling.  When one thing isn't working, you can change it.  Love that!  So I wanted to share with you the folder system that I came up with one afternoon.  Perhaps it just might help you too?


What You'll Need

• 5 folders with pockets
• sharpie
• post its or paper clips
• worksheets, curriculum, workbooks etc
• computer/printer

The process is easy.

Step 1:  Create a daily checklist in either Word or Excel for the next month or two.  You could also do this by hand and simply make copies if that's easier for you.  

Daily Checklist

Keep in mind your schedule constraints for each day.  For example, the kiddo has several hours of classes on M/W so for those days, the daily checklist is different then it is for T/Th.

Step 2:  Write the day of the week on the outside of each folder with your sharpie marker.  On the inside, write "Assigned" on the left pocket and "Completed" on the right pocket.

Assigned & Completed Assignments

Step 3:  Tape the daily checklist on the outside of the folder with the corresponding day.  So Wednesday's checklist on Wednesday's folder.  Easy, right?

Step 4:  Pull assignments, worksheets, curriculum etc for each day.  Paper clip together and label it.

Because the checklist is 5 weeks long, I pull 5 weeks worth of curriculum at once.  If you prefer to only have to do this every couple months, or every 6 months- then by all means, extend your checklist to include the length of time you prefer.

And that's it.  Seriously, you're done.

How It Works:

Your kid pulls the folder for that day.  So if it's Monday, then pull Monday's folder.  Look inside the "Assigned" pocket to find that dates assignments.  

Once the assignments are done, they mark them off the daily checklist located on the outside of the folder and move them to the "Completed" pocket.

*Tip- I also include quiet reading, science experiments, crafts, chores etc on the checklist.  Same principal applies here.  So even though there might not be items in the "Assigned" pocket, they will still need to complete these and mark them off the daily checklist.  Like quiet reading for example...

You can then check their work in the "Completed" pocket and make note of anything left to be done on the outside daily checklist.

Pretty simple right?  We are on week one of this new system but already, I'm seeing big improvements!  

The Daily Folders

I Am NOT Brave

I posted this message over on the Facebook page and it's simply too good NOT to share here.  Special thanks to Momastery for the article at the very end.  I simply LOVE this blog, so if you get a chance, check it out!

******************************************************************************

People call me brave. They say I'm doing something amazing. They tell me that they "could never do what I'm doing," this thing called homeschooling.

And then I think to myself- I'm not brave. I'm weak.

Because I could NEVER, ever in a million years do what you do. I could never send my child off to public school each day. Watch as my baby walks out the front door towards an uncertain world. How do you do it parents? For every wonderful thing they may experience is an equal amount of horrible and I just don't have the guts, the bravery, to send my baby out into this unknown scary universe.

Will it take away his smile? Will it change his behaviors? Will he become bored & act out? Will he be made fun of for his choices? Will he make true friends? Will teachers see his wonderful?

So instead, I choose to homeschool. Where I know he's safe. Where I know he's learning. Where I know he's loved. Where I can (for the moment) control the environment, his friends, his curriculum and shape him into the MAN he is destined to be.

Some say that's bravery. But sometimes, I think it just may be the fear of the alternative.

I am not brave.

The parents that open that door & watch their children, their BABIES, their hearts, walk away from them- now that's true bravery.


And because I love this article, I'm sharing with all of you. There should be a word to describe this bravery. All of us parents struggle with our choices- is homeschooling best? I wish I could afford private school. Is public school really the right way to go? We all struggle, no matter what we decide. And for those of you here who do watch your babies walk out that door- you are far stronger then I am. Please know that I support you as you make the choice that is right for your family.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/there-should-be-a-word-for-what-it-feels-like-to-send-your-child-to-middle-school_b_5805396.html

The Great Fall Schedule

Tomorrow begins the official start to our Fall homeschooling season.  And what a busy season it is!  Inquiring minds have asked what exactly my son's schedule looks like- so here it is!

Mondays

9-9:55am Lego Challenge class at Edmonds Heights K-12 (EH)

10-10:55am Multiplication & Division class at EH

11-11:55am Reading & Writing class at EH

12pm All campus lunch break

1-1:55pm Physical Science Exploring through STEM class at EH

*One hour of quiet reading 

*One hour of work book/online learning

Tuesdays

12:30-1:30pm Homeschool Recess at YMCA

1:30-2:30pm Homeschool Art class at YMCA

6-7pm Soccer practice

*One hour of quiet reading 

*One hour of work book/online learning

Wednesdays

10-10:55am Multiplication & Division class at EH

11-11:55am Reading & Writing class at EH

12pm All campus lunch break

1-1:55pm Physical Science Exploring through STEM class at EH

5:50-6:45pm Karate class  

*One hour of quiet reading 

*One hour of work book/online learning

Thursdays

12:30-2:30pm Homeschool Swim & Gym at YMCA

6-7pm Soccer practice

*One hour of quiet reading 

*One hour of work book/online learning

Fridays

Magic School Bus science experiment kits (at home)

Crafts/games/free play (at home)

4:30-5:30pm Youth Conditioning class at YMCA, followed by open swim for a couple hours

*One hour of quiet reading

*One hour of work book/online learning

Saturdays/Sundays

1 hour soccer game

Open swim at YMCA

Family activities/field trips

As you can see, core classes are covered- math, reading, writing, science....yep, it's pretty much all here.  We supplement with some home learning and then have PLENTY of outside sports and activities.  There's time to rest and be at home, lots of social interaction and fun play time.  A good mix of everything.

The key to planning your homeschool schedule is to remember to be flexible.  Don't try to over plan- give yourself the freedom to enjoy your children.  If they really aren't feeling the two hours of workbook learning that day, who says you can't switch it up and take a field trip instead?  Don't lock yourself down to a set schedule but remember that it's there simply as a goal and guideline for the day.

My approach is very relaxed.  While I am an OCD type over planner- I learned early on that this simply doesn't work with my son's learning style.  I wanted to schedule every 15 minutes of our day and he was having NO part of that!  A good teacher will follow the lead of their students in order to effectively reach them, so that's just what I did.

I build our schedule by simply filling in the classes that are a priority, for us- this is the classes at the kiddo's homeschool program, Edmonds Heights K-12.  Once I have this down, then I add in other classes in the area.  Since we live literally right down the street from the local YMCA, we take advantage of all there great class offerings.  You can also add in homeschool co-ops, outside sports, Girl Scouts/Boy Scouts, homeschool programs offered through local museums- just start building your schedule around what's most important and then simply fill in as you go.  Easy peasy!

I also leave room for plenty of seasonal activities.  Fall in the Pacific Northwest is a beautiful time of year.  We spend time studying leaves and taking nature walks, picking apples, visiting pumpkin patches, doing corn mazes and more.  This year the kiddo will even be doing an underwater pumpkin bobbing event- should be interesting!  These are the things that build great memories and there's no way I'm missing out on that!

Good luck- you got this!

Blessings in Disguise

Well, we've officially begun soccer season.

Yeah- you can just hear the joy and excitement, can't you?  But I'm going to be honest here and say that I'm really not a HUGE fan.  I don't enjoy sports.  The hours spent shuttling to and fro.  Sitting outside in both the overwhelming heat in August and then the bitter cold in October and November definitely leaves something to be desired.  Add in the fact that the kiddo has been playing with the same team for 3 years now and they have yet to win a game....oh man.  It's gonna be a long couple of months.

But let me also be VERY clear.  I will always put on a happy face and pretend that I enjoy it.  And I will encourage my child and support him because it's something he enjoys.  I will use phrases like, "it's not about winning or losing- it's about how you play the game."  I will cheer from the sidelines.  I will bring the MOST AMAZING SNACK ever!  I will be the best darn soccer Mom even if it
kills me.  But let's hope it doesn't.

But this year- oh yikes.  This year the kiddo has a few new teammates and he's having a hard time with one in particular.  We are only 7 soccer practices in and already this boy has been name calling, made fun of the kiddo, punched him in the stomach and kicked him in the thigh.  Leaving a pretty nasty cleat shaped bruise I might add.

We homeschool so we don't have to deal with children like this.

Sigh...I know...I probably shouldn't even be saying that, but it's the truth.  Honest to God, there are some awful people out there and kids can be SO cruel.  As a result, I am doing my best to see this as a blessing in disguise.  It's a great lesson for the kiddo on how to deal with conflict and with difficult people.  It's a lesson for the husband in restraint.  Husbands- you get me, right?  And it pushes me to work more closely with the kiddo on his behavior and his reactions.  Good lessons all around.

And then we were driving home from soccer practice last night and the kiddo was super excited about how well he was doing.  "Mom- I kicked his butt!"

Oh man....

But wait- let me just stop for a moment.

It's Soccer Season!!!

The kiddo has always approached soccer as something fun but was never really serious about it.  He got stuck in the goal net once for goodness sakes!  But something's changed this year.  He's much more focused, he wants to practice at home, he wants his Dad to help him learn "tricks", he wants to be early to practice so he has more time with the coach, he's playing harder, he's running faster- in short, he's much improved.

And I'm pretty sure it's all because he wants to "stick it" to that difficult kid.

So should I look this gift horse in the mouth?  The kiddo has had a major improvement in his focus and determination on the soccer field and all because he's been challenged by another player, even if that player is on the same team.  That's good, right?

Well I'm just going to admit that while I'm not a fan of this other boy, I am thankful that he's pushed my son to up his game so to speak.  And I have done the obligatory Mom speech which contains excerpts like, "you need to learn to work together" and "you're on the same team" and "treat others how you want to be treated".  But perhaps in the long run, this really will be a good thing?  I suppose only time will tell....

Back to Homeschool

It's crunch time!

We've got approximately three weeks before the kiddo is officially back at his homeschool program.  In that time, I have a shit ton of stuff to do.  Oh yeah- and I started a new job.  Since I'm still working the old job in addition to the new job- this means that I'm super busy.  Add in family obligations and sometimes I wonder how I get it all done.

Oh wait- I'm organized.  As in, just a little OCD organized, that's how!  So today I want to share with you exactly what happens in the weeks leading up to the official back to school season for us as homeschoolers.

One Month

• Clean out school supplies.  Throw away any broken items.  Donate what you don't need.  Make a list of what you do need and put it on the fridge for later.
• Organize school room, or kid's desks- basically, clean up the area you'll be doing most of the schooling.  Add any needed items to the list- things like more light bulbs, new desk chair or lap desk, etc.
• Rotate seasonal clothing.  Separate into piles for keep, trash, donate and sell.  If your kids need something, like a new pair of shoes or more underwear- then add it to that list on the fridge.
• List items for sale on Ebay and Craigslist.  Donate what doesn't sell.

Three Weeks

• Shop those back to school sales!  Remember that list from the fridge?  Now's the time to shop, shop, shop!
• Complete your last major summer project.  Planning on re-doing your kids bedrooms?  Or are you selling the swing set?  Plan on getting new tires on the car?  Try to finish up any leftover summer projects during these last few weeks.
• Drop off any items for donation if you haven't already.

Two Weeks

• Time for fun!  We always plan a mini trip or vacation for the two weeks prior to the start of school.  One last hurrah before it's back to the grind!
• Get some baking done.  Quick breads and muffins for fast and healthy breakfast's are perfect.  Prep some frozen meals too if you've got the time.
• Plan out next month's menu.  Need help?  Click here to read how I do this!

One Week

• Do a major house cleaning.  Deep cleaning stuff- washing the walls, vacuuming the baseboards, laundering the curtains, etc.
• Get your kids ready.  Make sure all their clothes are ready and they have the needed school supplies.  If you will be using lunch boxes & bags- make sure those are washed and ready too!  And don't forget hair cuts.
• Do a major grocery store visit.  I always try to stock up so that I can avoid the grocery store during those first 2 weeks of back to school.
• Go over your Fall schedule.  Check for any errors, see what needs to be added, make any reservations or sign up for any winter classes.

This list will work well for both homeschoolers and public schoolers.  I find that it's easiest to break things down into weekly tasks instead of thinking about the mountain of stuff that needs to get done before starting the new school year.  Add in a few things you might need to accomplish, tailor it to your family and you're ready to go!