When the Lesson is Learned

About two years ago, I wrote this great blog post called, Blessings in Disguise.  It was all about a new teammate to the kiddo's soccer team and what a butt this child was.  Ok....Ok....that's not very nice.  But y'all- some children are just plain awful and unfortunately for everyone, this one is on the kiddo's soccer team.

In the two years since I wrote the post- this child is MUCH improved.  Perhaps it's because he's older, or maybe it's because the kiddo started fighting back or it just might have been the little convo that the husband had with this kid's Dad but whatever the reason, I AM THANKFUL.

While this child and the kiddo will NEVER be friends, the animosity seems to have disappeared.  Praise Jesus but kids are tough!

In the last couple of years, we have all gone out of our way to offer kind words and loud exclamations of praise towards this difficult child.  Killing him with kindness y'all- killing him with kindness.  And it is this example that we have set forth for the kiddo- be kind.  IN all things, be kind.

No joke, it's been a rough couple of years and things have been difficult at times but it has been an amazing life learning lesson for the kiddo.  How to deal with difficult people, learning to get along, being kind, how to be gracious, forgiveness, working together for the good of your team, supporting those who don't deserve it- yeah, GOOD STUFF.

Well y'all- this last Saturday, the kiddo and his team played against a team of cheaters.  With a capital C y'all.  Gah- how disappointing that some parents and coaches teach this to our nation's children.  We watched this other team intentionally trip our boys, elbow them in the ribs and literally FALL TO THE GRASS in order to get a foul- it was quite honestly, disgusting behavior.  But I suppose that's team sports for you.....

One particular boy from the other team seemed to have some beef with the difficult child from the kiddo's team.  Who knows how this business starts really....but it seemed this child from the other team was out for blood.  Eek!  He kept kicking the kiddo's teammate in his shins, pushing and shoving and at one point, he knocked him down and hurt him.

What happened next will stay with this Mama for the rest of my days.

At this moment, the kiddo rushed over to his teammate, bent down and helped him up.  He then helped to walk him off the field and sit down.

Let's just pause for a moment here.

Clearly they aren't friends.  This child has caused huge strife and upset for the kiddo and yet- when this boy is down, MY CHILD IS THERE HELPING HIM UP.

Goodness but I could just cry.  Precious stuff indeed!

There's a saying regarding parenting- the years are long but the days are short.  How can we as parents know that our examples, our teachings, our lessons are really sinking in?  It's so easy for us to get caught up in the day to day struggle that we can't always step back and look at the lessons learned throughout the years.  Well last Saturday, I was fortunate enough to witness the lesson.  The years spent teaching the kiddo of grace, forgiveness, kindness, understanding, teamwork- ALL OF IT and I got to watch it happen right in front of me.

What a wonderful reminder for me as a parent that the work we are doing is IMPORTANT.  Someday, when you least expect it, you will get to witness the lessons they've learned and your cup will runneth over.

Keep going, you got this.

Ugh. Soccer Moms.

Let me first preface this post by saying that I am a Soccer Mom.  Technically.  

The kiddo has been playing soccer for 7 years now and for the last 2 years, we do almost year round soccer.  We take a break around Christmas time for about a month and then again in June and July- but that's it.  Soccer is clearly a big part of our lives.

In these past 7 years- I have seen quite a bit of "Soccer Mom" craziness.  Unbelievable stuff really....recently we had one Mom walk by the husband and I at a game and do the old, "scratch an itch on my face with my middle finger" routine.  Which we all know means they are passive aggressively flipping you off.  And then, as soon as I walked to the car- she bumped up next to the husband and started flirting with him.  WHAT?!?

But this last one really takes the cake.  Let's discuss details folks because it's gonna be good!

Snack schedule.  Ah- nothing is more coveted then the stupid snack schedule.  Kids get excited about it being their turn to bring snacks. the snacks have to be "cool" and full of junk, sign up sheets, reminders, harassment....ah yes, snacks.

Our team has always done the snack schedule online on our team website.  Yes, we have a website.  So I waited a few weeks to give the other Moms time to sign up and then logged on the website and picked a day.  The kiddo always likes to bring snacks as close to Halloween as possible and so this is the date that I usually sign up for.  This year was no exception- October 31st, our turn to bring snacks.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm literally rushed by two of the Soccer Moms while at team picture day, who are all up in arms over the fact that I signed up to bring snacks on Halloween.  Apparently some of the new team Moms didn't know how to log on to the team website and sign up so they took it upon themselves to change the way we've done things for the last 5 years and distributed a paper sign up sheet.  Ok- no biggie.  Problem was that I wasn't at any of the first several games so I didn't see the actual paper sign up sheet.

Can you guess what happened next?

If you guessed that another Mom had already signed up for Halloween snacks- DING DING DING!  WE HAVE A WINNER.

So....being the gracious person that I am, I offered to bring snacks another day.  Sure, we had signed up first and done so the "correct" way via the team website and yes, the kiddo would be disappointed over not bringing Halloween themed snacks, but it simply wasn't worth an argument.  And truly- snacks are snacks mmkay...what do I care what day I bring them on?

I offered to switch days.  Other Soccer Mom declined.

Ugh.

She then stated that she had already bought some Halloween pencils for the kids and said she'd just hand those out to them in addition to the snacks we brought.  Great!  Problem solved.  Or was it?

As we got closer to the Halloween game day, Other Soccer Mom must have asked me 3 or  4 times if I was still bringing the snacks on Halloween.  It was during the last practice before the game that she let it drop that she was bringing full on goody bags.  GOODY BAGS.

Say what?!?

Our snack for game day.

So I then casually mentioned that I typically do a "goody bag" for our snack days and that I already had the goody bags covered.  It was our turn after all....and I had offered weeks ago to switch with her.

What happened next can only be described as "in very poor taste" as this Other Soccer Mom attempted to "one up" me on the Halloween snack day front.  Seriously- what grown women does this?!?

A Soccer Mom, that's who.

She lived up to her promise of full on goody bags.  Not only did they contain lots of candy and junk but there were also plastic fangs, a glow in the dark bat, the promised Halloween pencil, a skull eraser and more.  While I think this is AWESOME and a sweet thing to do for our boys for Halloween, I seriously wished she would have just told me she really wanted Halloween snack day.

The kids did not need both "snacks" and Other Soccer Mom had already had her turn.  The kiddo walked away from the field yesterday disappointed that his teammates were of course more interested in her plastic toys from China and little boxes of Nerds then they were about the snack he helped pick out.

It was just tacky.

So to all my fellow soccer Moms out there- when it comes to the freakin' snack schedule- if you REALLY want a particular day, then just say that.  If you plan on bringing goody bags full of junk on a day that another Mom has already signed up- DON'T.  Please take a moment to think about how this will make their kid feel.  Bringing snacks is a big part of soccer and game day for the younger kids and they enjoy being the kid who gets to hand out snacks that day.

And to the Other Soccer Mom from our team- I'm sure you didn't intend to step on any toes and hurt my child's feelings, but you totally did.  You seem to be a very nice woman and I understand you were simply trying to do something fun for our boys.  But next time, step back a moment and evaluate.  If you want a certain day, say it.  Truly, it would have been no big deal to switch days with you as I had offered.  It's only snacks.

Soccer Moms.

Ugh.

Blessings in Disguise

Well, we've officially begun soccer season.

Yeah- you can just hear the joy and excitement, can't you?  But I'm going to be honest here and say that I'm really not a HUGE fan.  I don't enjoy sports.  The hours spent shuttling to and fro.  Sitting outside in both the overwhelming heat in August and then the bitter cold in October and November definitely leaves something to be desired.  Add in the fact that the kiddo has been playing with the same team for 3 years now and they have yet to win a game....oh man.  It's gonna be a long couple of months.

But let me also be VERY clear.  I will always put on a happy face and pretend that I enjoy it.  And I will encourage my child and support him because it's something he enjoys.  I will use phrases like, "it's not about winning or losing- it's about how you play the game."  I will cheer from the sidelines.  I will bring the MOST AMAZING SNACK ever!  I will be the best darn soccer Mom even if it
kills me.  But let's hope it doesn't.

But this year- oh yikes.  This year the kiddo has a few new teammates and he's having a hard time with one in particular.  We are only 7 soccer practices in and already this boy has been name calling, made fun of the kiddo, punched him in the stomach and kicked him in the thigh.  Leaving a pretty nasty cleat shaped bruise I might add.

We homeschool so we don't have to deal with children like this.

Sigh...I know...I probably shouldn't even be saying that, but it's the truth.  Honest to God, there are some awful people out there and kids can be SO cruel.  As a result, I am doing my best to see this as a blessing in disguise.  It's a great lesson for the kiddo on how to deal with conflict and with difficult people.  It's a lesson for the husband in restraint.  Husbands- you get me, right?  And it pushes me to work more closely with the kiddo on his behavior and his reactions.  Good lessons all around.

And then we were driving home from soccer practice last night and the kiddo was super excited about how well he was doing.  "Mom- I kicked his butt!"

Oh man....

But wait- let me just stop for a moment.

It's Soccer Season!!!

The kiddo has always approached soccer as something fun but was never really serious about it.  He got stuck in the goal net once for goodness sakes!  But something's changed this year.  He's much more focused, he wants to practice at home, he wants his Dad to help him learn "tricks", he wants to be early to practice so he has more time with the coach, he's playing harder, he's running faster- in short, he's much improved.

And I'm pretty sure it's all because he wants to "stick it" to that difficult kid.

So should I look this gift horse in the mouth?  The kiddo has had a major improvement in his focus and determination on the soccer field and all because he's been challenged by another player, even if that player is on the same team.  That's good, right?

Well I'm just going to admit that while I'm not a fan of this other boy, I am thankful that he's pushed my son to up his game so to speak.  And I have done the obligatory Mom speech which contains excerpts like, "you need to learn to work together" and "you're on the same team" and "treat others how you want to be treated".  But perhaps in the long run, this really will be a good thing?  I suppose only time will tell....

Fall Schedule

The time has come, Summer is almost over.  While William is certainly sad to see it go- I am looking forward to Fall.  My favorite time of the year is just around the corner!

Since we homeschool year round, the transition from Summer back to the school year is not nearly as difficult as it could be.  We do workbook and quiet reading during the Summer months so now that Fall is almost here, we will add in some classes.  Oh yeah- and soccer season has officially started.  So for the next 4 months our lives will be consumed with everything soccer.  WooHoo!  I'm a Soccer Mom!

If you'll remember, I posted a bit on what our Summer Homeschooling Schedule looks like.  So how will our Fall schedule compare?  Let's take a look, shall we?

Monday

60 minutes workbook

60 minutes quiet reading

30 minutes Compass Odyssey

1 hour soccer practice

Tuesday

60 minutes workbook

60 minutes quiet reading

30 minutes Compass Odyssey

1 hour Paragraph Writing class * at Edmonds Heights

1 hour Math class * at Edmonds Heights

Wednesday 

60 minutes workbook

60 minutes quiet reading

30 minutes Compass Odyssey

1 hour soccer practice

Thursday

60 minutes workbook

60 minutes quiet reading

30 minutes Compass Odyssey

1 hour Paragraph Writing class *

1 hour Math class * 

2 hour Swim & Gym class at YMCA

Friday

60 minutes workbook

60 minutes quiet reading

30 minutes Compass Odyssey

library

physical therapy

Saturday

soccer game

Lowes Build & Grow free clinic *every other Saturday

As you can see, some days are pretty light as far as actual lesson time goes.  However, we more then make up for it on other days- Thursday anyone?  Eek!  Keep in mind that this is our goal for each day.  So some days William may only do 45 minutes of workbook or maybe he does 2 hours of quiet reading.  As long as we get fairly close to our daily goal- I'm happy with that!

I'm also trying to find a good program or class for William to continue with his Spanish lessons and his Martial Arts.  So that will hopefully be added to our Fall schedule here soon.   You'll notice that we cover pretty much all the basics.  There's language arts, math, reading, PE and in William's downtime, he loves creating art and doing science experiments.  He's also getting the appropriate amount of socialization and has enough down time to just be a kid.  

We also make time to visit the library each week.  Did you know that you can put books, DVD's, magazines etc on hold online and arrange to pick them up?  We take full advantage of this and I reserve items for myself, my husband and the kiddo.  This saves us money on curriculum too as I'm able to print off worksheets for free using the library computers and printers.  Check out Education.com for free worksheets, science experiments and crafts!

You'll also notice that we don't have a formal curriculum.  Check out my post here to read more about the program William attends.  For the actual workbook, William uses these great "all in one" Scholastic workbook that I buy from Costco for around $7.  There you have it- free classes at Edmonds Heights, free worksheets online, free books, magazines, DVDs and a yearly workbook for $7.  If you don't count the PE activities (soccer, martial arts, swim) our out of pocket expense for the entire year is well under $20.  Sweet!!

Now that's not a bad way to start the school year!

***Want to know more about the public school funded program that William attends?  Click here to check it out!

Monday. You Suck.

After working all weekend my normally passable clean house was now a bit messy. I didn't get to my usual Saturday morning floor scrubbing, window cleaning, toilet scrounching & vacuuming duties. And to make matters worse, the husband had finally repaired the monster of a tv in our living room. So my living room floor was littered with tools, cables & various tv parts. Plus, I still had quite a mess to clean up from my weekend assembly work. Blah! Definitely Monday!

Now lets add one more thing to it!  I had someone coming over at 11:30. I was backed up on customer service work, my house was a mess, I had breakfast & lunch to make for the hubby & I had to do all this before my guest arrived. Oh- and lets not forget that I'm still working. My work phone is ringing , people are wanting live customer service chats, emails are pinging & I have 3 hours to get it all done. 3 hours!!

So I made the husband breakfast, packed his lunch & when giving him a kiss goodbye was met with "do you think you can do a white load today?"  What?!? How dare he want clean underwear. Ugh. Sure, of course. Add it to the list.

Good news is I was able to get all my cleaning done & shower before my guest arrived. Sweet! Point for me!  Up next was the mad dash to make lunch, returning of work emails & then as soon as I started on laundry- the work phone rings. Pretty sure the universe was against me. I'm on the phone & my new neighbor drops by. Sweet enough girl- I don't really know her yet. But out of the blue she asks me for a ride 30 minutes away. Umm....no. Kinda busy here...you know....just being a stay at home Mom.

Oh crap! I forgot about soccer practice. Thank you trusty iPhone for reminding me I have shit to do. And so begins the mad scramble to get ready for soccer. Snacks to eat, cleats to find and a soccer ball to pry away from Buddy Boy. On the way out the door I remember that William was supposed to try on his old soccer uniform to see if he would need a new one for this year. Oh well...only 5 minutes late & we arrive at practice. It is then I remember that I started the washing machine but never actually put any dirty clothes in it. Great. Just great. Monday you bastard!  You totally got me again!

I'm picking up takeout & calling it a day!