He's Extra Special

Mommy Confession Time-  sometimes I struggle with our choices.

Are we making the right choice to homeschool?

Am I a good Mom?

Are we totally screwing up the kiddo?

Will he be too different from his "peers"?

Do we push him too hard?  Not enough?

Am I too obsessed with teaching him certain things and not focusing enough on the others?

Are our expectations realistic?

Will he resent us when he's older?

So yeah....I've got a lot of thoughts running around in my head.  Doubts, fears- whatever.  It's totally normal and I don't think I would be a normal Mom if I didn't have some doubts.  Everyone has them, whether you homeschool or send to a public school, or enroll in a private school.  We all have these questions when it comes to our kids.  But that only means we love them and are doing our very best.  Nothing wrong with that, right?

The funny thing is, that whenever I'm really experiencing these doubts, a moment comes along to re-affirm our choices.

Every.  Single.  Time.

And so it was today, that I was thinking how easy it would be to just send the kiddo off to public school so I could finally, FINALLY, have a moment of peace.  When I bumped into one of the kiddo's former writing instructors.

"How are you?  How's William" she asked.

I'm good, he's good.

"Give him my love.  He's extra special that kid- I miss him in class."

I think so too.


And as I agreed with her, that yes- the kiddo is extra special, the tears pooled in my eyes.  Because I needed to hear this today.  I needed to hear someone say, "I see him too.  All his potential, his passion, his joy.  I see him and I love him."  Because homeschooing is hard darn it.  Yes, it's wonderful and empowering but it's also really damn difficult.  Especially on day 10 of struggling through fractions, or 2 years of focusing on sight words all while trying to teach them to tie their shoes and have them clean their rooms.  You are both Teacher and Parent and that is hard.  No one ever really talks about the struggle to balance it, the battle of wills taking place on your couch, the crying (from both of you) as they struggle to learn.

So when a moment comes along like this, it's a silent fist pump, a jump for joy, a shout to the Heavens- what you're doing is worth it.  It's worth the struggles, the tears, the laughter, the fear.  All of it.

Worth.  It.


Now tell me- what Mom would doubt herself after a moment like that?  Fears gone.  Questions erased.  Validation BOOM.  For now, I totally got this.  My kid is happy, he's learning and I'm not the only one that thinks he's extra special.  Clearly, we are doing something right.  So until the next time, when I will inevitably start to doubt myself again and God will send me another moment like this....

We all have doubts, Moms probably more so.  But listen to the moments Moms- they are God's way of saying, "You Got This".