Teaching Your Children That Different is OK

I love ALL THE THINGS about this recent article, called Teach Kids It's Ok to Ask About Disabilities and Illness.  Seriously you guys- all the things.  Please take a moment to read the article before reading the rest of this post because its truly a good thing.

With that being said, I can offer you all a very unique perspective on this topic of disabilities and illness.  I'm sure most everyone has someone in their family who's been through a debilitating and life altering illness but what about a disability?  How about in your immediate family?  Were they born this way?  Have you lived your entire life under this umbrella of DIFFERENT?

I have.

My sister was born with cerebral palsy.  I can't tell you how many children asked us, "why does she walk funny?"  They still ask.  Or the grown ups who used to yell at my Mom for parking in the handicapped spaces.  Yeah, that stuff leaves an impression on you as a kid.  For sure.

I was born with a heart defect and I have a very long (although now pretty faded) scar that runs down my chest.  If you've looked closely, perhaps you've seen it in some of my photos over on the Facebook page.  Growing up, I was "that girl with the scar" and as I got older I became, "the girl who can't do PE because of her scar".  People used to ask me if they could touch it- as if I was some freak of nature....

When the kiddo was six, he was hit by a car.  He wore a neck brace for awhile and then a full on back brace for over a year.  We didn't hide the back brace but chose to embrace it and every single person

we came across stared.  Not all of them asked but they all wanted to.  Knowing that people are looking and pitying you or that children might be scared or upset by what happened to you, it's a heavy thing.

All of these life situations give me the knowledge and ability to speak on this subject.  BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME....OK, I'm kidding here but really, I know about this stuff mmkay...

Growing up with a sister who could NOT ever hide her disability taught me to be an advocate for those with noticeable differences.  I learned very quickly at a young age who was simply curious and who was mean spirited.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking with kindness, with being curious, with wanting to learn more.  Nothing.  But please know that it is simply all in HOW you ask that makes the difference.

Living my own life of someone with a life changing FOREVER health issue has taught me that there are more to people then what you see on the surface.  They might look healthy and appear fabulous but you truly don't know what is going on in their hearts, minds and bodies.  People can hide stuff, serious stuff.

It's OK to be "different"!

Having a child, who for a limited length of time, suffered a very serious injury has by far been the most life changing for me.  There is simply no greater fear than something happening to your child.  None.  Mothering my child through this was difficult.  But teaching him to rejoice in the health and life he does have and to NOT be bound by perceived limitations was a wonderful lesson for us all.  Showing him how to be OK with his injury and as a result, his temporary change in outward
appearance became the silver lining.  As a result, it gave him even more empathy and understanding for those with injuries, illness and disabilities.

Personally- I embrace the questions.  Please feel free to ask us these questions in a kind and respectful manner and we will absolutely take the time to respond in an appropriate way.  Teach your children that it's OK to have questions and it's OK to ask these questions but it's not OK to stare, point, laugh or degrade anyone.  THIS right here is the difference y'all.

To be perfectly honest with you, I think this type of approach applies to everyone and everything.  NOT just those with disabilities, illness, injuries etc.  Curiosity is natural and education is the organic bi-product of your inquisitiveness.  Please teach your children this, please.

As for my own outward difference- it is simply a part of me.  It's just a part of my body and in truth, I really don't notice my scar.  I clearly don't hide it and I don't wish it away.  It's beautiful, just like the rest of me.  But I will tell you that the inward health of my body is of utmost importance and yes- physically I do have some limitations.  Although I feel extremely blessed that they are very minor and manageable.

For my child, he learned to be proud of his back brace.  He wore it every single day, outside his clothing, with no complaints for well over a year.  No complaints from a six year old?!?  Now that truly is a miracle mmkay....Whenever he noticed someone staring that was too afraid to ask, he would tell them, "I was hit by a car and now I wear this."  We talked about it, we dealt with it head on and we did it together, as a family.  The kiddo will always have some lasting health concerns because of his injury but they will simply become a part of his story and certainly nothing to be ashamed or afraid of.

I do hope that reading about my family's story, even just a very small part of it, can offer you some help and understanding in how to teach your children about disabilities, injuries and illness.  Or maybe it's even offered you some insight.  It's OK to be "different" and this is simply what we should be teaching ourselves and our children.  Embrace who you are, educate others and be kind.  We are all in this journey together.