I've been a wife for 10 years now. And yes, I fully realize that in the grand scheme of things- that's really not all that long. But you know what, I'm pretty proud of those 10 years. As anyone in a loving, committed relationship will tell you- marriage is hard. It really truly is- and there's simply NO WAY you can prepare fully for the journey that is marriage. Same thing with motherhood- but I'll save that for another day!
So today I want to share with you all just a brief snippet of what it means to be a Traditional Wife.
You should first know that I take this job very seriously. And yes, I said job. I consider myself to be a career wife and mother. This is all that I have ever wanted to do with my life. I grew up dreaming of my future husband and taking the family to Disneyland for vacay. I wanted the cute little house where I could bake cupcakes and fold laundry. I had my heart set on this job- and nothing else would do. Whoa- I bet that is sure to upset some of the feminists out there! But here's how I view it- a feminist is someone who believes in women's rights, for equality and for the ability to make our own choices. And ladies- this is EXACTLY what I'm doing. I have every right to dream of becoming a fabulous wife and mother, just as some of you might desire to be an astronaut, doctor or teacher. Go Feminism!
Ok- yikes! I got a little off track there....sorry.
So yes, I considered my job as a wife to be the fulfillment of my childhood dreams. That's pretty awesome, right? But what exactly does it mean to be a great wife? Because listen, if you're going to do something- do it well. That's my motto- aim for success and don't bother doing something if you're not going to succeed at it. Oh geez- some of my perfectionist traits are peeking out a little bit there....here we go....
Being a Traditional Wife Means:
Putting your husband's needs first! You heard it here ladies- your man comes first. He should be your priority. Is he sleeping enough? Hungry? Need some alone time in the garage? Want to go fishing this weekend? And yes- I fully realize that this might not always be possible. But try. Simply try to put your husband before yourself. Think of him when making decisions- even simple ones like what to make for dinner. I never make fish because my husband hates it and says it stinks up the house. The last thing I want is for him to come home from a long workday and escape upstairs because the house smells bad. Got it? Good.
Compromise. We as women are just naturally better communicators- sorry guys, but you know it's true. So the job of the being the first one to initiate compromise will simply fall to you. Strive for resolution, help your husband to navigate arguments and lead when it comes to compromise. And when all else fails, use this phrase- "I'm trying to compromise with you, meet me halfway?" Works every single time.
Fulfilling your duties. A wife has many jobs and for each women and each marriage that might differ. But I can tell you that in my house my jobs are pretty traditional. I am in charge of all the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry and basic household tasks. I am also the one who pays the bills, plans vacations, makes doctor appointments, homeschools the kiddo (with the exception of a few father-son projects), buys our clothes, gives haircuts, feeds the dogs, takes out the trash...you get it, I do a lot of stuff. But another of my duties is having sex with my husband. Yeah- I went there. It is your job to have sex with your husband- and lots of it. Do not underestimate the value of maintaining intimacy in your marriage. The more sex you have, the better everything will be. Trust me on this one.
Put your husband on a pedestal. Whoa Nelly. First I'm talking sex and now this? I know....I know...but here it is- as a wife you MUST honor, respect and ADORE your husband. Yep- I said adore. Look past his faults and admire all the great things about him. Way too many marriages end in divorce when the wife starts griping that her husband didn't do this or didn't do that. Sure, we all have our grievances and there's nothing wrong with letting someone know when they disappoint you or upset you. This is not what I mean here. The idea is to look beyond this. Acknowledge that no one is perfect and realize how truly blessed you are to have this man by your side. Look up to him, not down on him.
Unconditional Love. So here it is- we've reached the last thing on the list. To me, being a wife simply means that I will love you forever- no matter what. The horrible thing about people is that we are human and we have the ability to hurt one another, deeply. Marriage is no different. But to be a truly amazing wife, you must forgive. Forgive your husband. Always. And do not let those issues stop you from loving him. Underneath everything, you must have a deep and unshakable love for your husband. With this comes the steadfast knowledge that nothing and no one can harm your marriage. Give him everything, all the time.
Well there you have it. Please keep in mind that these are simply my views on marriage and what it means to be a Traditional Wife. I also want to acknowledge that I am not perfect. I am not a perfect person and certainly not a perfect wife. But I try my very best and I strive to meet all these things. I take this role very seriously and I consider myself truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband.
Want to read more on being a Traditional Wife?
Working Wife and Mother raising one homeschooled boy and one crazy rat terrier. Follow along on the journey of a modern day traditional housewife who believes in putting her man and her child before herself. That home is the best place for her son to learn and that a woman's place is at the heart of her family.
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Friday, November 1, 2013
How a Traditional Wife Can Support Her Husband
My husband works a lot.
Today he will go on-call and he will most likely work all weekend. Since he has just worked a full 50 hour week, will work all weekend and then work the following week- he will be one tired man! Sadly, my son and I won't see much of him during these 2 weeks. Unfortunately, this is a cycle that happens every 3rd week. As soon as he recovers from one on call round- another one starts back up. It's brutal!
My husband also loves his job. He likes the company he works for and he's very good at what he does. So even though this on-call portion of his job is very difficult, it's worth it in the long run.
Now as you can imagine, this would probably upset most wives. It's a very demanding job and requires way too many hours away from home. Thankfully, this job fits in just fine with our lifestyle. You all know by now that I'm a Stay At Home Mom and that we homeschool. If our son went to a traditional public school, he would probably never get to see his Dad due to the school schedule and my husband's work schedule. Another point for homeschooling!
If you read my popular series about Traditional Housewives you know that I see my job at home as being the most important. I make sure that my husband's needs are met so that he can focus entirely on work- especially during the on-call rotations. So how does that translate? What's a wife to do when her husband works way too much? Here's a short list of 8 things that I personally do to support my husband.
Today he will go on-call and he will most likely work all weekend. Since he has just worked a full 50 hour week, will work all weekend and then work the following week- he will be one tired man! Sadly, my son and I won't see much of him during these 2 weeks. Unfortunately, this is a cycle that happens every 3rd week. As soon as he recovers from one on call round- another one starts back up. It's brutal!
My husband also loves his job. He likes the company he works for and he's very good at what he does. So even though this on-call portion of his job is very difficult, it's worth it in the long run.
Now as you can imagine, this would probably upset most wives. It's a very demanding job and requires way too many hours away from home. Thankfully, this job fits in just fine with our lifestyle. You all know by now that I'm a Stay At Home Mom and that we homeschool. If our son went to a traditional public school, he would probably never get to see his Dad due to the school schedule and my husband's work schedule. Another point for homeschooling!
If you read my popular series about Traditional Housewives you know that I see my job at home as being the most important. I make sure that my husband's needs are met so that he can focus entirely on work- especially during the on-call rotations. So how does that translate? What's a wife to do when her husband works way too much? Here's a short list of 8 things that I personally do to support my husband.
- Don't Whine and Don't Complain. He works a lot. He's doing his best to support his family and the last thing he wants is more stress from a nagging wife. So shut your mouth and smile.
- Feed Him. Seriously! Men are super focused on food at least my man is- so when work is especially stressful- cook him his favorite meal or bake him a special goody. And don't forget to pack him a lunch for the road!
- See To His Physical Comforts. My husband's job can be very physically demanding. And when he's just worked 20 hours straight, his body is ready to call it quits. My husband appreciates a hot shower, Icy Hot cream on his shoulders and a stiff drink. Make it happen ladies! Go the extra mile and schedule a massage or chiropractic appointment!
- Surprise Him! If he's working all the time, I'm sure he misses his wife and kids. So take a free moment and go surprise him at work. Make your visit brief though since he's sure to have a mountain of work left to do. Also make sure to bring him something to snack on! You'd be surprised how this easy and thoughtful gesture will boost his spirits and help to keep him going!
- Take Care of Everything at Home. Everything. He should not have to do a load of laundry or clean the dishes. He's already done his job so let him relax. Now I'm not saying that he should never help around the house. I'm merely suggesting that when he's just worked an obscene amount of hours, don't ask him to work more.
- Be His Soft Place to Fall. We all need physical intimacy but equally important is a spiritual and emotional connection. Your husband should be able to come to you and know that you will always listen and be available to comfort him. Welcome him home with sweet kisses and open arms. When he's worked all day long, you are his safe place and his quiet in the storm. Make him glad to be home.
- Be Considerate of His Time Off. I strategically plan around my husband's on-call rotation. I also know that the week before and the week after he's been on-call he is super tired. This translates into a bad time to ask him to complete my Honey Do List. And don't forget that he needs to time spend with his friends- so relax and try to give him the time he needs. Sometimes easier said then done, I know!
- Thank Him. Let him know you appreciate all of his hard work. That you respect his role as provider for your family. We all like to hear a little positive reinforcement and husbands are no exception.
I take care to follow all of these so that I can be a loving and supportive wife to my husband. He deserves it for working so hard!
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