I'm a Working Homeschooling Mom

Yes- it is possible to work and homeschool.

Let me just start by saying, that if I had my choice, I would NOT be working.  But my family needs my income to survive (like so many other families out there!) so alas- I hold the title "Working Mom".  Ha!  As if that's somehow different from "Mom".  Right?

This is not a debate about Stay at Home Moms versus Working Moms.  I have been both and I can tell you from personal experience that they are both difficult jobs.  So lets just cut the bullshit and support each other in regards to this, ok?

Whew!  Glad we got that out of the way.  Let's move on to what this post is really all about.  How in the world do you Homeschool AND Work?!?

My son was 18 months old when I decided to quit my full time Monday through Friday job.  I made a pretty decent salary and this job brought in roughly half of our yearly income.  Yikes!  So how exactly do you replace half of your income and stay at home?

The most obvious answer to this is to factor in all the expenses you'll no longer have.  Daycare of course being #1.  However, we were lucky to have family and friends watching our son and so my monthly daycare expenses were just $250.  Hmm....not much of a savings right there.

The next cost you'll save on is transportation.  Since I was commuting an hour each way to work, this was a big money and time saver!  Yay!

Work clothes, shoes, coffee, lunches out with co-workers, shoes, dry cleaning, office birthdays & parties, shoes....Did I mention shoes?  You'll most likely not be spending money on these items, so consider these a savings too!

Ok- so you've figured out that you'll be saving a little bit of money not going to work everyday.  But how about actually earning some money?  Here's some things that I have done to personally earn money.

• Babysitting.  Super easy, fun and you can take your child with you.  If you begin doing this on a regular basis, look into opening your own in-home daycare.  
• Start your own business.  Do you have a useful skill?  How about a craft you could make and sell?  Etsy and Facebook are excellent places to start your own business.
• Find a part time job in your field with flexible hours.  Now this is all about luck.  You are literally searching for the needle in the haystack here but perseverance will pay off!  I was lucky enough to work in Human Resources, 15 hours per week and could occasionally bring my son with me.  My boss allowed me to move my schedule around to accommodate my son's homeschool classes as well- awesome!
• Work for a church.  Why?  Well- they are usually much more flexible and understanding of your commitments to your family.  And many times, they will allow you to bring your child with you.  
• Provide child care for MOPS.  If you've been living under a rock- MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers.  The time commitment is small, usually 2-4 hours per week and you can bring your child with you.
• Work evenings or weekends.  Listen, this is a hard one if you have very young children.  I do not recommend working nights if this is the case.  However, with older children, this schedule can work out quite nicely.  My favorite weekend/evening job that I ever had was as a hotel front desk employee.  The hours were decent, the pay was good and I got a sweet discount on hotel rooms!
• Telecommute.  This is what I am currently doing.  I provide customer service support from a phone line connected to my internet.  I also provide live online chats and will soon be blogging for the company.  If you are currently working for a company- ask them if telecommuting is possible.  
• Reduce your hours at your current job.  This falls in line with the telecommuting.  Consider asking your boss for a reduction in work hours.  Perhaps even splitting the job with another person.  You'll never know until you ask!

There's a few other small things that I personally do to save money and earn a little money.  Here's my tips:

• Coupon!  My family jokes that I have a coupon for everything.  And for the most part- that's true!  I don't ever pay full price for anything and most times I double up with a good sale AND a coupon.  This adds up to a great savings!  My advice is to subscribe to the Sunday only paper for coupons, check with your local library as they usually receive weekly papers that have coupons in them for free and of course you can print them online.  
• Cut your family's hair.  My son is 8 years old and has only been to a barber/hair salon once.  And you better believe the only reason it happened was because I had a coupon for a FREE haircut!  I also cut my husband's hair.  Now, my hair is another story!  Since you should never cut your own hair (do it- I dare you!) I do visit a salon twice per year.  Yep- that's it!  I go every 6 months and of course I have a coupon!  
• Complete online survey's at home.  I have only one company that I complete surveys for because I just don't have the time to waste doing a survey and not know how much that survey is "worth".  I like PineCone Research because the survey's take approximately 5 minutes to complete and you are paid $3.  I complete about 5 of these per month.  So obviously not a big money maker.  But I can easily do these while I'm sitting at home surfing Facebook and I've just made $3 in 5 minutes.  I'll take it!
•  Get rid of a car.  There- I said it!  If you homeschool and you're home most of the time, you may find that you simply don't need a 2nd car.  And the expense of that 2nd car is just insane!  My husband's company provides him with a work vehicle, so there was no reason for us to keep his car.  We sold it!
• Sell your used, unwanted items.  I love Ebay.  Before I donate items, I usually list them on Ebay to see if they will sell.  Make sure you are selling brand name items in good condition.  Most folks just aren't going to buy a no-name knockoff purse or a pair of ratty tennis shoes.  So be selective here!  But if done regularly, you can make a decent profit.  I typically make $50-100 per month.
• Sign up for a local marketing research company.  There's 2 in my area that I am listed with and if you fit the profile, the payoff is good.  They usually require about an hour or two of your time and the pay is $75-150 cash.  And most of these research studies are conducted in the evenings- so it's very easy to arrange childcare if needed.
• Cook from scratch and eat at home.  This is a big money saver.  Learn to make your meals from scratch.  Not only will it save you money but it's so much healthier! We also do not eat out too often.  It's bad for you and it's expensive.  I would say that we average 3 times per month and most of those times, I have a coupon! 
• Fix it before you replace it.  Gone are the days where my family throws something away or buys a new one.  We try everything to repair an item whenever possible and when we must replace it, try to buy used.  It's cheaper!  Now of course there are some things you just shouldn't buy used- underwear for one!  But dishwashers, jeans, cars- etc can all be purchased used for much less then buying new.
• Ask for a discount.  This is a biggie and most people are afraid to do it.  If money is tight or you're on a strict budget- let the store or company know.  Many times they want to make a sale and will offer you a discount.  And if they can't offer a discount, they will sometimes be able to help you come up with a cheaper alternative.  I'm a big fan of the saying "that's not really in my budget, here's what I have to spend" and see what happens. 
• Share housing costs.  Do you have family you can live with?  What about a basement apartment that you can rent out?  If you're a renter, perhaps you can trade services for a discount on rent?  Housing costs should only equate to 1/3 of your total expenses but for most people- it's much more.  So find a way to reduce them.  

My family is proof that it can be done.  We are living on a very small income.  We are not in debt up to our eyeballs, we own 2 cars and a boat and all of our needs are met.  We are also able to take a vacation every year or so and routinely donate and give to charity.  Yes, of course I would like to have more money sitting in my bank account- who wouldn't right!  But we've learned to live on less so that we can "afford" this lifestyle.  I am home every day with my child and you can't put a price on that!

How a Traditional Wife Can Support Her Husband

My husband works a lot.

Today he will go on-call and he will most likely work all weekend.  Since he has just worked a full 50 hour week, will work all weekend and then work the following week- he will be one tired man!  Sadly, my son and I won't see much of him during these 2 weeks.  Unfortunately, this is a cycle that happens every 3rd week.  As soon as he recovers from one on call round- another one starts back up.  It's brutal!

My husband also loves his job.  He likes the company he works for and he's very good at what he does.  So even though this on-call portion of his job is very difficult, it's worth it in the long run.

Now as you can imagine, this would probably upset most wives.  It's a very demanding job and requires way too many hours away from home.  Thankfully, this job fits in just fine with our lifestyle.  You all know by now that I'm a Stay At Home Mom and that we homeschool.  If our son went to a traditional public school, he would probably never get to see his Dad due to the school schedule and my husband's work schedule.  Another point for homeschooling!

If you read my popular series about Traditional Housewives you know that I see my job at home as being the most important.  I make sure that my husband's needs are met so that he can focus entirely on work- especially during the on-call rotations.  So how does that translate?  What's a wife to do when her husband works way too much?  Here's a short list of 8 things that I personally do to support my husband.

1. Don't Whine and Don't Complain.  He works a lot.  He's doing his best to support his family and the last thing he wants is more stress from a nagging wife.  So shut your mouth and smile.
2. Feed Him.  Seriously!  Men are super focused on food at least my man is- so when work is especially stressful- cook him his favorite meal or bake him a special goody.  And don't forget to pack him a lunch for the road!
3. See To His Physical Comforts.  My husband's job can be very physically demanding.  And when he's just worked 20 hours straight, his body is ready to call it quits.  My husband appreciates a hot shower, Icy Hot cream on his shoulders and a stiff drink.  Make it happen ladies!  Go the extra mile and schedule a massage or chiropractic appointment!
4. Surprise Him!  If he's working all the time, I'm sure he misses his wife and kids.  So take a free moment and go surprise him at work.  Make your visit brief though since he's sure to have a mountain of work left to do.  Also make sure to bring him something to snack on!  You'd be surprised how this easy and thoughtful gesture will boost his spirits and help to keep him going!
5. Take Care of Everything at Home.  Everything.  He should not have to do a load of laundry or clean the dishes.  He's already done his job so let him relax.  Now I'm not saying that he should never help around the house.  I'm merely suggesting that when he's just worked an obscene amount of hours, don't ask him to work more. 
6.  Be His Soft Place to Fall.  We all need physical intimacy but equally important is a spiritual and emotional connection.  Your husband should be able to come to you and know that you will always listen and be available to comfort him.  Welcome him home with sweet kisses and open arms.  When he's worked all day long, you are his safe place and his quiet in the storm.  Make him glad to be home.
7. Be Considerate of His Time Off.  I strategically plan around my husband's on-call rotation.  I also know that the week before and the week after he's been on-call he is super tired.  This translates into a bad time to ask him to complete my Honey Do List.  And don't forget that he needs to time spend with his friends- so relax and try to give him the time he needs.  Sometimes easier said then done, I know!
8. Thank Him.  Let him know you appreciate all of his hard work.  That you respect his role as provider for your family.  We all like to hear a little positive reinforcement and husbands are no exception.  

I take care to follow all of these so that I can be a loving and supportive wife to my husband.  He deserves it for working so hard!  

Regrets on Being a SAHM

I recently came across this article, Why I Regret Being a SAHM by Lisa Endlich Heffernan and I found my lip curling as I read it.  Seriously, I made the stinky face.  The stinky face you say??  You know, the involuntary reaction that your face makes upon hearing something offensive or smelling something foul.  Oh yes...THAT face.

Let's me first begin by saying that I view Motherhood as the single most important job that I will personally ever have.  My career is so low on the priority list that it can't be seen from under the mountain of dirty laundry.  However, that does NOT mean that I don't understand and appreciate the viewpoints of traditional working Moms.  Your career is very important to you and you've worked hard to get where you are today.  I get it, I understand it, it's just not for me.  I should also point out that I have always worked in one capacity or another.  Being a full time stay at home Mom is a luxury that we just can't afford.  So it is with both viewpoints that I approach this touchy subject.

The first reason that the author gives for regretting her decision to become a full time SAHM- the feeling of letting down those before you.  Hogwash I say!  Why in the world would Gloria Steinem or anyone else for that matter, care that you choose to stay at home with your kids?  We can all appreciate those who came before us.  You ladies fought the good fight and for that, I'm grateful.  What this means for me, is that I can choose to work or choose to stay home.  The struggle for equality in the workplace gave me and other women the ability to choose.

The 2nd reason- she uses her driver's license more then her college degree.  Now this is most definitely a valid reason.  You've worked hard for that college degree, not to mention you've paid a buttload for it.  While I did go to college for roughly 2 years, I lacked focus and ambition.  I knew that I wanted to be a wife and mother.  A college degree is not required for that, so I chose not to waste my time or my money.  If you decide to go to college and pay the overinflated cost of tuition, then please- by all means, get your money's worth!

And that leads me to the next reason- her kids think she did nothing.  Umm...excuse me?  How exactly would your kids think you didn't do anything?  Do they not see you cooking, cleaning, running errands?  Are they not present when you read stories to them or comfort them when they are sick?  You're in the trenches, first man down and all that jazz.  And let me just point out that if you GO to work everyday, you're kids certainly aren't a witness to anything you do there. Pft.  Stupid- let's move on.

The 4th reason- I worried more.  Oh My Goodness.  The theory that because you don't have "work" filling up your time so therefore you now have more time to worry is crazy.  A worry wart is a worry wart.  No amount of free time will change that.

My favorite reason is up next.  I slipped into a more traditional marriage.  Ohh...I love this one because I personally feel that all marriages function best when they take on traditional roles.  I know, I know...so old fashioned of me and most definitely something I will discuss in another post.  But to this, I reply- what's SO bad about a traditional marriage?  No one person can do it all, right?  So it's certainly nice to know that while one person goes out and brings home the bacon, someone else is there to cook it up!

Still with me here?  We have reached reason #6- I became outdated.  This is of course a very valid reason IF you have plans of ever returning to the workforce post kids.  However, you know it's coming.  You know that if you take 20 years off, things will change.  Technology changes by the minute!  Geez- get off your butt and take a computer class or something.  The great thing about life is that we are always learning and even Moms can learn new things too!

Woohoo!  We've come to the last and most ridiculous reason of all- I lowered my sights and lost my confidence.  Listen ladies- if you decide that you are somehow inferior because you are "just" a stay at home Mom, then that's on you.  I just don't have a lot of sympathy for those who want to wallow in self-doubt.  You're fabulous.  You're a great Mom.  You can do anything you desire.  Either believe it or not but don't blame being a stay at home Mom as the reason you don't believe in yourself.

Have you figured out by now that I don't agree with this article?  There are of course some legitimate points made for those who plan to return to work someday.  It's always a good idea to keep your foot in the door. So for those ladies planning to head back to work after the kids are grown- I suggest you look into part time work in your chosen field.  Perhaps even an internship or some sort of volunteer position that will keep you active and engaged.

However, if you're like me- a career Mom....well really, I have no regrets.  My job is my child.  And I know I have the best job in the world.


Chrissie "hard at work" being a Wife & Mom