Ways We Give: Be the Change

Recently we had a really great conversation with the kiddo about giving.  We have always encouraged him to have a giving heart and are raising him up to be a man of change.

While at the grocery store one day, he emptied my change purse and put it all into a little box at the cash register.  They were collecting money for "world relief" and the kiddo wanted to help.

Good Lord but I love his desire to give.  

But "world relief"?  Hmm...what exactly is that?  Where's this money going?  Who will be benefiting?  And so we talked about HOW to give and where best to give our money and our gifts.  The sad reality is that most larger corporations do not pass on the majority of their donations to those in need.  So much of your monetary gifts goes to fund campaigns and objectives that you  might not personally agree with and of course, it lines the pockets of those CEO's and other bigwigs.

So how can you know for sure that your donations/gifts are going to those who truly need them?

My advice is to do your research and seek out local opportunities to give.  Whenever we think about donating to a larger company- we always do our research first.  This means hitting up the Google.  You can visit this website here to find out how a particular organization rates and decide for yourself if its a charity you want to get behind.  I would also take some time to investigate where each organization gives their money.  What causes are they funding?  What initiatives is your money going towards and how does this fit in with your personal beliefs?

For example, this Halloween the kiddo was going to Trick or Treat for UNICEF.  The organization itself got very good ratings on the website mentioned above.  I spent a little time reading over their financials and everything seemed good to go.  But then I spoke with the husband about it and he said that he thought they donated towards a cause that we firmly do NOT believe in- turns out that they do.  In addition, the CEO makes a pretty hefty salary- so we decided against giving to this organization.

Where does that leave us?  Below is a list of all the places we currently give.  You might be surprised by a few and I hope this will encourage you to seek out opportunities to give back and teach your children what it means to help others.

• New Rattitude of Washington State.  It's no secret we love our Rat Terriers!  This is a large organization but has branches in several states.  We choose to give to the local group whenever we can.  We give to them by buying their merchandise where 100% of the profits go towards rehab and rescue of the dogs.  In addition, we routinely sell items on Ebay and donate online towards medical bills for these sweet puppies.  We have also been to a couple events which serve as fundraisers.  A note on rescue/pet charities- please give locally.  Do NOT give to large corporations such as National Humane Society as none of this money will go to benefit the pets in your area.  None.  Seek out a local shelter, volunteer your time, donate blankets, pet food, money- but try to do it where it will make the most impact.  In your community.
• Local Buy Nothing Facebook page.  So this one is fairly new and I first heard about it through a friend.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE this page!  Since becoming a member, I routinely give items like old toys, almost new shoes, food items and other household goods.  These pages are set up by community so you know for sure that you are giving to those in your neighborhood.  Many times folks aren't in "need" but this type of give is about being less wasteful and cutting down on our personal consumerism.  Other times, I specifically seek out those in need to give to- especially when giving food items.  We've also been on the receiving end of some great gifts from this page.  It's a wonderful way to meet those in your community as well and our page holds food drives, toy drives and puts together holiday baskets for our neighbors in need.  It simply doesn't get any more local than this!
• Toys for Tots.  We've been gifting toys to this organization since the kiddo was born.  He's now old enough to help us pick out the toys and we make a fun night of it.  While we can't personally afford to buy a whole bunch, we do try to each pick out two toys each to give to this great cause.  Last year Toys for Tots was matching every donation when you took a photo and "hash tagged" it on social media.  Seriously- how awesome is this?!?  And for those of you with children, I've found that involving your kids as much as possible makes the act of giving more "real" for them.  Try to make it a family event and encourage them to help you whenever possible.

  

  Make giving back a yearly tradition!

• Holiday Hands/Together Rising.  So Wow.  Everything about this cause speaks to my heart.  This organization started with a Mom who wanted to effect change in her community.  It's become a huge undertaking that literally changes lives.  Holiday Hands is a specific event in early November where people post online what their needs are.  These needs are big in variety-some examples include winter coats for their children, writing letters to a grieving widow, a meal, gifts to our soldiers, new shoes for a single Mom etc.  Then, a week or so later- the real magic happens.  The community comes together and meets these needs.  It's simply amazing!
• The Seattle Foundation.  This will be our 3rd year being a part of this great cause.  Each December we get together with over 800 other volunteers, active and retired military and local churches to fill Christmas stockings for local homeless children.  The scope of this project is big and is expanding every year.  We fill enough stockings for 3,500 homeless children living in almost 100 local shelters as well as 800 homeless youth living on the streets.  The stockings consist of useful items like socks, hats, toothbrushes but also have a few fun toys and games and for many area children, these are the only gifts they will receive.  This particular event is one that our extended family participates in as well.  There is no greater gift to give your child than having the entire family volunteering and giving back together.   
  
  
  

  

  Gettin' our Volunteer On!

• Operation Christmas Child.  This is our very first year making a shoebox for a child in need this Christmas.  But seriously- what better way to get your child involved in giving then to have them help you pick items to give to a child just like them?  The charity is one we can personally support and ALL of your gift goes to a child in need.  ALL OF IT.  And even better- you can track online where your gift is going.  I highly recommend that you have each of your kids be responsible for creating a box for a child their own age and then help them track the recipient online.  
• Local Food Banks.  Want to help feed those in need?  Find a local food bank and give.  It's really that simple.  Additionally, if your local grocery stores are like mine, they will offer donation "bags" or "baskets" filled with a holiday meal for a family and this is a super easy way to feed the hungry in your community.  Everyone should have a holiday meal.  EVERYONE.  This is also a great place to volunteer your time.  When I was in high school, I spent some time in our city's food bank helping to organize the donations and separate bulk food items.  You can also help pass out food and get involved in community outreach.
• Blessings Bags.  These are simple and something we are starting this year.  Put together a big ziploc bag full of useful items for the homeless in your community and then- when you see someone in need, grab a bag and give it to them.  Ideas for your blessings bags include toiletries, socks, hats, quarters, granola bars and other easy food items, feminine products etc.  Save up your hotel toiletries, ask around on your local Buy Nothing Facebook pages and stock up on some sales and it's super easy to put together a few of these bags.  Don't forget to get your kids involved in helping you assemble them and pass them out.
  

This is currently what we do now.  In addition, we also seek out those who are in need.  You may remember recently that I posted a story about the husband giving a pair of almost new Timberland's to a man in need.  We give when we can as much we can and when we see a need for it.  Because at the end of the day, I want to be the type of person who helps and I want my child to grow into the kind of man who becomes the change we want to see in this world.  It all starts with you.

This Year's Thankful Letter

This year's thankful letter to the husband is just a bit different as I've been reflecting on the almost 12 years of marriage and 15 years of being a couple.

Fifteen years.  Wow.

As a young (ish) couple, I am so incredibly proud of us that we've made it to this milestone.  Seriously.  It's amazing and we're amazing and I'm just so damn proud of us.  So in honor of this special milestone and our upcoming 12th wedding anniversary- I have this to say to the husband.



Dearest Husband,

Another year has passed and you're still standing here by my side.  I am so blessed and thankful to have you here with me.

I am thankful for our love, for our marriage and for 15 years of togetherness.

I am thankful that you are your true self with me.  That you open up to me and show me who you really are underneath all that beard and bravado.

I am thankful for 15 years of friendship.  It hasn't always been easy but I have always had you as my best friend.

I am thankful for your sweet kisses and imposing hugs.  No one feels as good as you do.

I am thankful that even in difficult times, you are able to express your love for me.  I have never doubted your love in these past 15 years and that is a rare gift indeed.

I am thankful that I have you to cry with when life gets hard and the sadness hits.

I am thankful for your fidelity and faithfulness.  You've shown me that men of honor do exist.

I am thankful to be valued and respected as your wife.  To be treated as your partner and equal.

Most of all husband- I am thankful to be loved by you.  I am so very honored to live this life with you and cannot express how blessed I feel to have spent the last 15 years loving you.

To the next 15 years.  I love you.

Your Wife.


Want to read the previous thankful letters?

• A Letter of Thanks to My Husband
• Another Letter of Thanks

Answering a Few Questions

So recently I've had a few folks reach out to me and say things like-


Why are you talking about food on your Facebook page?

You need to dedicate more to homeschooling, I don't want all the other stuff.

I don't understand why you post about marriage stuff all the time.

I thought this was a page about homeschooling?


And so the comments go....Well, I thought it was time that I addressed them and I'm doing it here for all to see.


#1- This is my blog and subsequently my Facebook page.  The content I choose to share is my choice.  Simply put, it's mine and I can do whatever I want to.  My goal has been and always will be to encourage others.

#2- I value your input and take notice of things you want to see more of and also less of, but ultimately it doesn't change the fact that this is my page/blog.

#3- Yes, this is most definitely a page/blog dedicated to homeschooling.  But it's also about the JOURNEY of homeschooling and how it relates to marriage and motherhood.

#4- I post about food because I hope to encourage others to get healthy and think about what they are putting in their bodies.  This is my right.  If you don't wish to see it, I completely understand.

#5- This page/blog is also focused on marriage.  Having a strong marriage will lead to a strong family.  It is our goal to encourage couples in their marriage as they travel this path of homeschooling and life.

Perhaps the most important thing to realize is that this page/blog is very much about our journey.  It's pretty much an electronic diary.  I don't have all the answers, I'm still figuring it out, my marriage isn't perfect, sometimes my kid is a butt, homeschooling is hard, laundry piles up- it's the journey you guys.  Good Lord but this life is hard and it's good....My hope is that being a part of this community will help you and encourage you just as much as it's done for me.

Thanks for being here!

The Homeschooled Housewife

10 Alternatives to the Flu Shot

Let me preface by saying that up until about six years ago, my family got the flu shot.  Every single year I dragged the husband and kiddo to the clinic so we could get poked with this magical concoction that would hopefully keep us from getting ill.

Oh how far we've come in just six short years.

The reasons why we no longer get a flu shot are pretty easy.  This post is NOT a debate on the science behind flu shots and vaccines- it's just about my family's personal journey and what we are doing now that works.  With that being said, the reasons are really very simple.  Every year that we got the flu shot, the husband and I got the flu.  Every.  Single.  Year.  With each year being worse than the last.  In addition to this, we desired a more natural way to keep the dreaded cold and flu season away- especially with the knowledge that the flu shot was not personally working for either of us.  Add in the conflict in our hearts about putting our child through this and we knew we had to find a better way.

In the last 5+ years, neither one of us has been sick.  In addition, the kiddo has NEVER had the flu.  You guys, he's 10 years old and HE HAS NEVER HAD THE FLU.  He's also never experienced a real, full blown cold.  He's had some minor sniffles that go away in a day and a little sore throat after one of his friend's came down with the chicken pox but a real cold- nope.  So let's just think on that a moment yeah?

Now I bet you're thinking- "well crap, how can I do this too?"  You know I'm going to share ALL my secrets with you!  Of course I am!


#1- Elderberry.  Dude it's all about the elderberry during the flu and cold season.  Because I simply don't have time to mix up my own batch of elderberry syrup, we take this in a supplement form.  Much easier that way for this busy Mama!  The kiddo has an organic syrup and the husband and I take it in pill form.  You can order off Amazon or online or perhaps find it in your local health foods store but do try to find organic and good quality if you can!

#2- Diet.  I can't say this enough- stop eating crap if you want to stop feeling like crap!  What you eat has a direct impact on how you feel.  So focus on whole, plant based foods with lots of fruits and veggies- organic if you can afford it.  Start cooking real meals at home and limit the processed junk and fast food.  It really is that easy.  Food can literally heal your body.  It can heal it!!!  Psst- there's tons of recipes here on the blog to help you get started!

#3- Sleep.  Most nights we try to get 8 hours of sleep and have the kiddo sleep for 10 hours.  Some nights I work and this just isn't possible but boy- can I feel the difference in my body when I haven't had a good night's sleep.  Make it a priority.  Do some restful type activities before bed like taking a lavender bath, reading a book, having a cocktail (yeah, that's me!) and turn off the electronics.  You'll be amazed at how fast you fall asleep!

#4- Essential Oils.  These are relatively new to our routine in just the last couple of years but I've already noticed a big difference.  During the day I'll have thieves and orange oil in the diffuser, at night I like a little lavender and eucalyptus.  You can also create a paste much like Vicks Vapo Rub and put it directly on your chest and feet.  There's so many wonderful oils that you can use to help relieve congestion, help with a sore throat, if you need to de-stress or get more rest and on and on the list goes!

$50-60 for the starter kit on Amazon!

#5- Detox Bath.  We all take a detox bath at least once per week.  The formula is actually very simple- equal parts Epsom Salts and baking soda combined with your essential oil of choice.  Which oil I put in has a lot to do with how my body is feeling.  If I'm sore and achy, I use my Muscle Relief oil.  If I feel a sore throat or congestion coming on, I use oregano and eucalyptus  and if I want a relaxing detox bath I'll put in a little lavender.  Mix it up according to your body's needs.

#6- Honey, Lemon & Ginger Tea.  We simply adore this tea...well, the husband not as much but he still drinks it.  Here's a previous post on instructions to make this tea at home and all it's wonderful healing properties.  It's very easy and tastes great!

#7- Kombucha.  We all drink at least one bottle per week.  We prefer GT's brand and it MUST be organic and it MUST be raw.  You can also drink some of this if you're simply not feeling well in general and I guarantee you in less than 2 hours you'll start to feel better!  It works for stomach upset, diarrhea, the gurgles, mild nausea, cramps- really, it's just a miracle in a bottle! I highly recommend you start with drinking half a bottle (this is strong stuff mmkay!) and then following up with the remaining half bottle.  Your body will need time to adjust to this powerful goodness!

#8- Zinc Lozenges.  I just found these and I have to say that I'm super impressed!  I mentioned previously about the chicken pox- well let me just tell you, there was quite the outbreak last month at the kiddo's homeschool program.  Many of his friends became ill and the kiddo started complaining of a pretty awful sore throat.  We combined these lozenges with some essential oils and he was 100% improved in less than 2 days.  The sore throat symptoms never gained ground while all his friends were home sick.  Love it!

#9- Apple Cider Vinegar.  I've posted several times about this wonderful stuff but the truth is that it has really helped the husband most of all.  If you suffer from seasonal allergies and sinus issues, you NEED to be drinking some ACV on the regular.  Two tablespoons in a cup of water every morning before breakfast will do the trick!  No lie- it doesn't taste fabulous but it works.  You can read more about it here.

This is the only kind you should be drinking!

#10- Common sense.  Well yeah, I felt that I should probably put this down here as well because we really use the good ole common sense when it comes to cold and flu season.  Simply put- if you are going to a large venue where lots of people will be, make sure you're taking proper precautions, like washing your hands!  If you are starting to feel ill, stay home!  If you hear that someone has just gotten over the flu, for the love of God do NOT give them a hug.  Don't be worried about offending them or hurting someone's feelings- just simply explain to them that you would love to "greet" them properly but that you would rather not get sick.  Yeah- common sense is good y'all.


Want to read more?

• Cold & Flu Season Survival Kit
• Transform Your Health: A Husband's Journey

Strawberry Pineapple Smoothie

We should just call this the "Better Than Ice Cream Smoothie" because that's what the kiddo says after every one.  "Mom, this is WAY better than strawberry ice cream!"  That gets my vote!


Strawberry Pineapple Smoothie

1 cup strawberries
1/2 cup pineapple
1 large tablespoon raw, organic honey (local if you can)
1/2 plain yogurt
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon chia seeds


I have to confess that I've made this smoothie so many times, that I just "wing it" when it comes to the exact measurements.  You can adjust the ingredients to suit your specific tastes and of course you can substitute animal products for vegan ones.  But please....please use raw, local honey.  This is the secret ingredient that will make any of your smoothies the most amazing, delicious things on God's green earth.  Trust me on this one.

So- how to make?  Well, just dump it all in your blend and blend away.  I always put the frozen items in first but really, it doesn't matter.  This will make 1 very large smoothie or 2 more normal sized ones.

Enjoy!

So good!

Our Rules on Kid Parties, Sleepovers & Such

We are strict and we shelter our child.  

Truth bomb right there for you folks.

In our house there are rules.  We also have quite a bit of regulations when it comes to birthday parties that the kiddo has been invited to.  When he was younger, it was really not an issue.  Most parents stick around during birthday parties for the 5 and under crowd.  Praise Jesus!  Can you even imagine some poor Mom trying to facilitate a roomful of 3 year old's solo?  Yeah, no.

So clearly- it was much easier to navigate this issue when the kiddo was small.  But now that he's getting older and we are in the PRIME age group for lots and lots of invitations, we are finding it a bit more tricky.

Why?

Well- you see, we don't allow the kiddo to be in someone's home unless we've first been there.  I know right.  Just think about that one for a moment.

Sleepovers are never going to happen unless we know the parents extremely well.

In addition, we say a big NO to anyone driving our child around in their vehicle.

And all those parties at an outside venue?  Seriously- I have no idea what kind of supervision you're offering....so that's probably not gonna happen either mmkay....

Good Lord but the amount of crap we've dealt with regarding these rules.  But here's the thing, they are ours and this is our choice as parents.  So suck it.  Ok....that's not nice but you know what I mean here.  We are not about to change our parenting style because several outspoken folks have an issue with it.

So where does that leave us?

Well, we do our best to find a happy medium.  The husband and I discuss the event in question and find a way to ensure that the we are all comfortable with the solution.

For example, the kiddo has a friend birthday party coming up next weekend.  The party will begin at the child's house, then the parents will drive all the kids to the venue, then drive them all back to their house after for cake/ice cream/presents.  While I know the Mom- my impressions of her were not favorable.  Sorry to say but I do not feel comfortable leaving my child in her care.  But the kiddo desperately wants to go and spend time celebrating with his friend of several years.  So after the husband and I discussed things, we decided that we could take him to the venue location and stick around to supervise. The kiddo will not be going to his friend's home and will simply give him his birthday gift at the venue location.

Navigating this can be tricky sometimes.  You certainly don't want to hurt the other parent's feelings and you want your child to be able to go and have fun and participate but ultimately you have to do what you feel is best as a parent.

This is simply my advice to all of you as you go through this- do what you feel is best for your child and your family.  Huh.  That certainly sounds familiar doesn't it?  Pretty sure that's always been my advice when it comes to marriage, motherhood, education and the like.  It's good advice and worth repeating.

Do what you feel is best for your child and for your family.

Period.

So no- the kiddo won't be going to the entire birthday party but he will still be able to attend a portion of it and help his friend celebrate his special day.  The husband and I are happy with this arrangement and the kiddo is just excited to be able to participate in some way.  For us, this works.  We understand it might not be for everyone and that quite a few simply won't understand our desire to continue to shelter our child.  As he gets older, we will continue to re-evaluate each situation just as we've always done but for now, these are our rules for navigating the kid parties, sleepovers and invitations from friends.

Best of luck to you as you navigate this tricky business as well.

Ugh. Soccer Moms.

Let me first preface this post by saying that I am a Soccer Mom.  Technically.  

The kiddo has been playing soccer for 7 years now and for the last 2 years, we do almost year round soccer.  We take a break around Christmas time for about a month and then again in June and July- but that's it.  Soccer is clearly a big part of our lives.

In these past 7 years- I have seen quite a bit of "Soccer Mom" craziness.  Unbelievable stuff really....recently we had one Mom walk by the husband and I at a game and do the old, "scratch an itch on my face with my middle finger" routine.  Which we all know means they are passive aggressively flipping you off.  And then, as soon as I walked to the car- she bumped up next to the husband and started flirting with him.  WHAT?!?

But this last one really takes the cake.  Let's discuss details folks because it's gonna be good!

Snack schedule.  Ah- nothing is more coveted then the stupid snack schedule.  Kids get excited about it being their turn to bring snacks. the snacks have to be "cool" and full of junk, sign up sheets, reminders, harassment....ah yes, snacks.

Our team has always done the snack schedule online on our team website.  Yes, we have a website.  So I waited a few weeks to give the other Moms time to sign up and then logged on the website and picked a day.  The kiddo always likes to bring snacks as close to Halloween as possible and so this is the date that I usually sign up for.  This year was no exception- October 31st, our turn to bring snacks.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm literally rushed by two of the Soccer Moms while at team picture day, who are all up in arms over the fact that I signed up to bring snacks on Halloween.  Apparently some of the new team Moms didn't know how to log on to the team website and sign up so they took it upon themselves to change the way we've done things for the last 5 years and distributed a paper sign up sheet.  Ok- no biggie.  Problem was that I wasn't at any of the first several games so I didn't see the actual paper sign up sheet.

Can you guess what happened next?

If you guessed that another Mom had already signed up for Halloween snacks- DING DING DING!  WE HAVE A WINNER.

So....being the gracious person that I am, I offered to bring snacks another day.  Sure, we had signed up first and done so the "correct" way via the team website and yes, the kiddo would be disappointed over not bringing Halloween themed snacks, but it simply wasn't worth an argument.  And truly- snacks are snacks mmkay...what do I care what day I bring them on?

I offered to switch days.  Other Soccer Mom declined.

Ugh.

She then stated that she had already bought some Halloween pencils for the kids and said she'd just hand those out to them in addition to the snacks we brought.  Great!  Problem solved.  Or was it?

As we got closer to the Halloween game day, Other Soccer Mom must have asked me 3 or  4 times if I was still bringing the snacks on Halloween.  It was during the last practice before the game that she let it drop that she was bringing full on goody bags.  GOODY BAGS.

Say what?!?

Our snack for game day.

So I then casually mentioned that I typically do a "goody bag" for our snack days and that I already had the goody bags covered.  It was our turn after all....and I had offered weeks ago to switch with her.

What happened next can only be described as "in very poor taste" as this Other Soccer Mom attempted to "one up" me on the Halloween snack day front.  Seriously- what grown women does this?!?

A Soccer Mom, that's who.

She lived up to her promise of full on goody bags.  Not only did they contain lots of candy and junk but there were also plastic fangs, a glow in the dark bat, the promised Halloween pencil, a skull eraser and more.  While I think this is AWESOME and a sweet thing to do for our boys for Halloween, I seriously wished she would have just told me she really wanted Halloween snack day.

The kids did not need both "snacks" and Other Soccer Mom had already had her turn.  The kiddo walked away from the field yesterday disappointed that his teammates were of course more interested in her plastic toys from China and little boxes of Nerds then they were about the snack he helped pick out.

It was just tacky.

So to all my fellow soccer Moms out there- when it comes to the freakin' snack schedule- if you REALLY want a particular day, then just say that.  If you plan on bringing goody bags full of junk on a day that another Mom has already signed up- DON'T.  Please take a moment to think about how this will make their kid feel.  Bringing snacks is a big part of soccer and game day for the younger kids and they enjoy being the kid who gets to hand out snacks that day.

And to the Other Soccer Mom from our team- I'm sure you didn't intend to step on any toes and hurt my child's feelings, but you totally did.  You seem to be a very nice woman and I understand you were simply trying to do something fun for our boys.  But next time, step back a moment and evaluate.  If you want a certain day, say it.  Truly, it would have been no big deal to switch days with you as I had offered.  It's only snacks.

Soccer Moms.

Ugh.