Raising Kids With a Giving Heart

Parenting is hard mmkay....Seriously, SO difficult.  In these times of instant gratification, it can be even more challenging to raise kids that are normal and well adjusted.  Well....as normal as normal is, right?

As the husband and I go through this season in life, we often look to the future.  What kind of man do we want our child to grow up to become?  What are some faults we see within ourselves that we don't want to repeat with him?  How can we do better?  What direction do we want his life to take?  We have the wonderful privilege to raise this child and to shape him for his future.  We acknowledge that we can't make his choices for him and we know that he will have differing opinions then we might.  But that's the beauty in raising an independent thinker.  They think for themselves.

Above all, there is one thing that we strive for as we raise this precious gift.  We want him to be good and pure of heart.  We aren't perfect and we certainly aren't expecting perfection but rather- we expect goodness and light.  Wow.  Let's just think on that a moment.

So how do you go about raising a child with goodness and light?  Heck if I know!  Ok, that's not entirely true.  We know a little and we are still learning a lot.  Someday, hopefully- we will get there.  But in the meantime, there is one simple thing that we are doing and I know that it's making a huge difference in the kiddo.

We are raising our child with a giving heart.

A few weeks before Christmas, the kiddo came to me and said, "I have a budget for what I want to spend on Christmas gifts Mom and then with the rest of my money, I want to give it to the less fortunate kids."

Insert puddle of Mom here.

But seriously- this happens because we model the behavior that we want him to exhibit.  We give back.  We help others.  We are action minded.  And by simply doing, we teach him how to do.

Some examples?

December is our busy month.  We help out local families through giving trees, we take the kiddo to pick out toy donations for Toys for Tots and we volunteer our time to put together Christmas stockings for homeless kids in our area.

The kiddo LOVES to pick out toys
for other kids!

But it's not just about charity.  We do our best to model the behavior year round.  We believe in rescuing animals and we are slowly becoming more active in our local, Rat Terrier Rescue organization.  We regularly donate used clothing and household items, the husband takes the kiddo with him when he gives blood, we help to raise money for those in need through our Ebay page.  The husband once stopped traffic to rescue a turtle for goodness sakes!  Throughout it all, we are ever conscious of the fact that our child is watching.  He sees us helping others.  He sees us giving our time, our money and our love to those in need.  Even if it is a tiny turtle- it matters.  Giving back matters.

As the kiddo continues to get older, we hope his desire to help will continue to grow as well.  He genuinely loves volunteer work and he has a passion to help, especially kids who are just like him.  We want him to learn that if you have helped just one person (or animal) then it has all been worth it.  We want him to know what it feels like to make a difference and to realize that he CAN make a positive impact on the world around him.

Sometimes it's not enough to talk, we must do.
Photo of the husband & kiddo stuffing
stockings for homeless kids.

So yeah.

We are raising our child to have a giving heart and I have to say that it's been pretty amazing so far.

Family Is What You Make It

This last weekend we had a long overdue conversation with the kiddo about some family issues.  Gah.  I seriously hate talking about this stuff sometimes.  We had put this particular convo off for several years and unfortunately by not speaking clearly with him about it- we were just adding to his confusion.  So when the kiddo received a Christmas gift from someone who is no longer a part of our family, we knew that we had to address this issue.

I won't go into details here because, well....some things are private.  And because I'm pretty sure these people are reading this blog in addition to stalking the Facebook page and I simply wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction.  Ah yes- good times.

But I will say, that what we decide to do has and always will be with our child's best interests in mind.  We feel that certain people are unstable.  We've seen the proof of this time and time again.  We've endured lies and anger.  We've dealt with bitterness and games.  But we are adults.  Our child is not.  And there will never be a moment when we will allow this crap to leak its way into our child's life.  So if that means that certain people are no longer a part of our family, while it's sad, that's simply the way it has to be.

We took some time to really talk about the concept of family.  What should a family be?  How should they behave?  What makes up a family?

The answer- there is no perfect ideal of what a family looks like.  Sometimes it's made up of lifelong friends and sometimes you have 6 Grandma's and no Grandpa's.  Family is goodness and love.  It is NOT anger, lies and manipulation.  Many people in your family will not be related to you by blood and many times, those that are technically your blood, are truly not your family at all.  A very hard concept indeed.

Family is what you make it.  The people who are in your life because they deserve to be there.

We discussed that sometimes it's necessary to guard your children (as we've been doing with the kiddo) against those who seek to do harm.  Inflict harm on an innocent child?  I know right?  It's disgusting.  Many times you must also protect your marriage from the individuals who wish to see it destroyed.  I just can't even fathom who would be crazy enough to think they have the power to break up a happy marriage.  But alas- there are some who do.  As if leaving someones name off on the Christmas card will do the trick, right?  Sorry folks, it's not as easy as wishing them away, they aren't going anywhere and it's simply a childish game that says more about the kind of person you are and why you are no longer a part of their family.  Family shouldn't talk behind your back.  Family shouldn't judge you.  Family should never cause you physical harm.  Family should apologize and forgive.  Family should follow through on promises.  At the end of the day, it's OK to let go of this negativity so that you can let in your true family.  The only people who should be a part of your life are those that have earned the right to be there.  So if the aren't here- its probably because they don't deserve to be.

I won't lie- this has been a very difficult lesson for us and it's been very hard to talk to the kiddo about.  It is heartbreaking when people you once loved seek to hurt you.  Even more so when they play games and lay guilt trips on you.  Ah yes- welcome to the land of lies and manipulation in the name of "love".  Yeah- no thanks.  We pass.  If you've ever experienced something like this, you know how truly devastating it can be.  It's hard you guys.

So yeah- we finally talked about it.  It was heavy and it was good.  It was time.  And it was right.

Family is what you make it and we have a pretty awesome family.

We Like Chemicals In Our Food

Sigh....

Let me paint you all a picture.

It's Christmas Day and there's 25 people gathered around the tree.  Babies, aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins- all ages.  We are eating, laughing and opening presents.  The perfect image of Christmas right here in this very living room.

Sounds great right?

And then this happens-

Family Member #1- I made a really great meatloaf the other day.  So good.

Me- You wouldn't want to hear about the meatloaf I made recently.  It was a lentil loaf.  I keep trying but I just can't get it right.

FM#1- Yeah, no thanks.  Meatloaf should have meat.

Me- It wasn't too bad, just needs a little work.

This was attempt #3- almost but not quite there.

Family Member #2- No one wants to hear about your lentils.  We don't make fun of your lentils so don't make fun of our food.  We like chemicals in our food.

And then FM#2 proceeds to storm away in a huff all while mumbling about "liking food with chemicals."

Sigh....

So here's the deal folks.  I completely and 100% get that not everyone is going to eat the way my family eats.  I also completely understand that many people don't believe that there's anything wrong with our food system.  I wish this weren't the case and while I do my best to share what I know, I do also respect that other's may have a difference of opinion.

However- I should be able to have a lighthearted conversation about the disaster that was my Lentil Loaf without someone taking offense and throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old.  If you follow me over on the Facebook page, you've probably seen some of the disastrous outtakes from said Lentil Loaf.  I've been trying for well over a year now to perfect my recipe but sadly, it's still a no-go.  Seriously- not good.

Comments like the above are frustrating sometimes but they are also really great learning lessons.  Not about food mind you but about the way in which people behave.

In this situation, I was not having a conversation with FM#2- at all.  This person felt the need to butt in and make a snide comment for no reason other then to be rude.  I was also not making fun of those that "eat chemical food" because the reality is that my family does still eat junk on occasion.  I would never intentionally make fun of anyone and their choices.  Seriously- I wasn't even talking about chemicals in the food but rather my disastrous attempts at making Lentil Loaf.  It's just not me.  And finally, this person walked away without giving me the chance to respond- which tells me they really weren't interested in what I had to say at all.

Sometimes the things people say and the way in which they behave says more about them than it ever will about you.

What I know without a shadow of a doubt is that the chemicals, pesticides, insecticides etc in our food are harmful to our health.  The full spectrum of exactly how much is still being determined.  What I also know is that food that is found in nature, untouched by "science" is best.  Food from the earth.  Without any added crap.  So why not simply eat that food?

I talk about it often.  I share what I know and I'm constantly learning more.  I can't help it- I am passionate about our food system and what is happening in our current society.  It's SO wrong and people's lives are being negatively impacted as a result.  I want my family to live a nice, long and healthy life.  I want my friends to raise healthy children.  I want our future generation to outlive their parents.  But with the way things are going- I don't see that happening and frankly, it all comes down to the food we are putting into our bodies.

We simply must start paying attention.  We must make better choices.

So yes- while sometimes I love the chemical food too, I try not to eat it every day at every meal.  Sometimes ignorance is really not bliss.  You can't keep eating McDonald's every week, slathering everything you eat with the chemical cocktail that is Hidden Valley ranch dressing and cooking up your Tyson chicken nuggets and expect to live a long and healthy life.  You just can't.  And while I get that it's hard for people to make changes, I'm here to tell you that if my family can do it- anyone can!

If you're interested in learning more, please check out a recent post I wrote about GMO's.

Teach Them That Its OK

Whew!

So yesterday I posted over on the Facebook page a quick little convo between me and the kiddo.  We were leaving the YMCA after participating in musical chairs with dogs, yeah- I said dogs, when the kiddo noticed a boy walking down the street.  "Mom, that's a boy!  Why is he dressed like a girl?"

My reply was simple and so completely on target with what we are personally teaching our son, "sometimes boys dress like girls and sometimes girls dress like boys and that's OK."

The response to this brief exchange was instantaneous and it was most certainly divided.  Half of you expressed that it was clearly not OK because God didn't intend for boys to dress like girls- they should be the boys God made them.  While the other half agreed that it was in fact, OK.

I have to say that I was personally very surprised to find such a divided front.  Mainly because I wasn't saying boys shouldn't be boys and girls shouldn't be girls but rather that we should teach our children to be OK with who they are and to accept others the way they are.  For the husband and I, this message of love and acceptance seems to go hand in hand with our journey as homeschoolers.  We want people to accept and respect what we do but shouldn't we in turn offer this same level of understanding and acceptance?

Here's the thing, we aren't perfect people and we sure as shit aren't perfect parents.  Not a single one of us.  We make mistakes.  We have preconceived notions and ideas concerning some people, we inadvertently pass along our judgments to our children, we make snap decisions regarding those we don't know, we judge based upon looks- it happens.  But don't we as parents have a responsibility to teach our children to look beyond the outward appearances and get to know the people underneath?

Who knows what this boy who was dressed as a girl is currently going through.  This may be a huge cry for attention, perhaps they are questioning their sexuality, trying to fit in with a certain group- seriously, who knows.  And yes, while I do personally think that boys should dress like boys, it is simply not my place to judge.  Because if one day, my child came to me and said that he wanted to wear a skirt to school, I want to be the kind of Mother who accepts him, embraces him and allows him the freedom to be himself.

Our message is one of love and acceptance.

It's OK to love who you are just the way God made you.

It's OK to accept others for who they are.

It's OK to be a strong male in today's gender neutral society.

It's OK to offer your acceptance even when you don't personally agree.

It's OK to embrace your gender roles.

It's OK to be you.

It's OK.

Because if we teach them that it's not OK, what are we saying to our children?  That who they are is wrong?  That is simply not a message I want to give my child.  Love and acceptance for the win.

Gifts Every Mom Secretly Wants for Christmas

Moms....ah, the givers of life and of gifts.  Seriously, when was the last time anyone ever asked me what I want for Christmas?  And then actually bought it for me?  I know...right?

So here it is, a list of gifts that we all want but don't ask for....

1. A house that stays clean for at least 24 hours after cleaning it.  Seriously, what's the point of cleaning when your husband and kids will just trash it again in 10 minutes.  10 minutes people!
2. Kids that put themselves to bed.  Just once I'd love for the kiddo to be like, "Oh would you look at that Mom and Dad, it's bedtime.  Love You and Goodnight."
3. A year off from hosting Christmas.  For the love of God- I just want to not have to host every single Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years.....and on and on it goes.
4. A body double.  So yeah- how cool would that be?  A woman who looks just like me who could do all my chores while I'm laying in bed sleeping?  Oh and if she could bring me coffee, that'd be great.
5. Jewelry that I want but didn't pick out myself.  If I have to circle it in the catalog or put it on hold for you to pick up, there's really no point.  Just pick out something I like that doesn't cost a freakin' fortune.
6. No flu for Christmas.  Thank you very much.
7. Pets or musical instruments from gift givers.  I mean seriously- who gives live animals or musical instruments without asking permission first?  Who?!?
8. My bits and pieces from 15 years ago.  Sigh....my boobs used to be the shit and then I had a kid.  Oh well....sorry husband.
9. A kitchen that makes dinner.  Umm....hello?  Can we just talk about this invention that needs to be invented?  
10. No more coupons books.  I really don't need a lifetime of hugs and a handful of kisses.  Can you just buy me a real gift?  Please?
11. No bills.  For one month wouldn't it be great if all the people/companies I owe money to just decided they were going to give me the wonderful gift of a "freebie".  Yeah, that'd be great.
12. Hand lotion that didn't come from the dollar bin at Target.  I mean...really.
13. An entire day to myself.  No screaming, no sandwich making, no laundry to fold and for the love of God- no whining.  Just leave me be for a whole day, is that too much to ask?
14. The ability to wear my 4 inch heels again.  And silk.  Oh how I miss silk.
15. For my child to believe in Santa forever.  Can you just....please?
16. A self cleaning house.  And car.  And kids.  And husband.  And dogs.  Yeah- just push the button and away it goes.
17. Opie and Jax under my Christmas tree.  Mmkay....
18. To never step on another Lego in the dark ever again.  Thank you very much.
19. The ability to go shopping and actually browse.  When was the last time you went to the mall without any hands grabbing at you, no meltdowns, no one complaining they were dying of boredom....
20. Excellent health.  And by health I mean cocktails. 

We All Hold a Piece of Wonderful

What we have is special, it's wonderful and unique and belongs only to us.  It's the laughter in our children's voices, the strong arms of your husband, the house you make a home, the furry babies who add joy and comfort- its ours.  Our own little piece of wonderful.

The thing with wonderful is that in one second it can all disappear.  Wonderful is fragile and it can be taken from us in an instant.  When this happens, this is when we are tested.  Our marriage is tested, our happiness, our moral compass, our family- all of it, put to the test in that one moment.

I'm not talking about everyday frustrations here, like missing your flight or not getting your Christmas bonus.  I'm talking about events that happen in the blink of an eye, that change everything.  Everything.

My hope for you all is that you'll never have a moment like this, a moment so heartbreaking that it shakes your foundation to its core.

Three years ago, the husband and I had our moment.  It's not something that I talk about often and many people aren't aware of what happened.  To be honest, it's very painful for us and extremely difficult to talk about.  But I feel like it's finally time to share just a bit of it with all of you because it's a huge part of who I am now.  Three years ago, our child was hit by a car.  He was seriously injured, spent several days in the hospital and will have lifelong health issues.  Lifelong.

That's all I'm going to say on the accident portion of things.  This Mama just isn't ready to talk about that day yet.  But I'm sure you can imagine that there is nothing worse then holding your broken baby in your arms and simply not knowing.  It's the not knowing that gets you and if you've ever been through this, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

My purpose in sharing this with you is to offer you hope.  It's coming from someone who has been there.  It's real.

Our child was broken.  My husband was broken.  I was broken.

But here we are, three years later and we have our wonderful back.  In that moment, that split second when everything changes- you wonder if you'll ever get it back.  How can you possibly do this?  Will things ever be right again?

So that day, I had my cry.  Ok- I had more than one cry.  I held my baby.  I wrapped my arms around my husband.  And I decided to fight.  I fought for my child.  I pushed his broken body to heal, I held my husband up when he couldn't, I kept my family together and I said, "We fight".

This will not break us.

Did you hear me Lord?

This.

Will.

NOT.

Break.

Us.

We fight.

Because the truth is, when things like this happen- life and death things, the only choice you have is to fight to get your wonderful back.  Things have a way of becoming crystal clear in moments like this because there is simply nothing else that matters.  No one understands that you are currently in the middle of the fight of your life.  In your world, time has stopped.

You will be tested.  Your husband will be tested.  Your family, your marriage- everything.  All of it is suddenly put on the line.  In one second, everything changes.  One second.  Can your marriage survive this heartbreak?  Can you do this?  Are you woman enough to put your family back together?  What if?  Sweet Lord- the "what if's".  They challenge you in ways you can't even imagine.

But you guys- there is hope.

For those of you currently going through your fight, I have this to say....please keep fighting.  Please.  Because someday your wonderful will come again.  This I promise you.

The 15 Second Challenge

Recently I came across a story from the Time Warp Wife in which a young married man asked his Dad for marriage advice.  "Dad, what's the secret?  You & Mom have been married for over 30 years and you're still so in love."

Dad's answer?

"Every day for the last 30 years, we have kissed each other for at least 15 seconds.  Every single day.  It's hard not to stay in love when you do this."

Well that got me thinking....do the husband and I kiss for 15 seconds every day?  Umm...do we?  I mean, we kiss A LOT.  Seriously, a shit ton.  In fact, we were recently caught kissing by the neighbor girl while we were over at their house for Halloween.  "Eww, kissing."  To which I replied, "don't worry- it's OK, we're married."

BWAHAHAHA.

She is too cute.  But clearly, we kiss a lot and we aren't shy about the when or the where.  The husband is very affection and he's my man- I can love on him all I want.  And so I shall....but let's get back to that original question.  Do we kiss for 15 seconds or longer?  Are our kisses lingering?  Do they last long after the kiss is over?

Hmm...I'm just not sure.

Insert brilliant idea here!

Now, if you know me at all- you know that I LOVE a good challenge.  Seriously, I'm all about making goals and challenging yourself.  Today, I came up with a fun and super easy challenge that will hopefully do great things for my marriage.  And I'm inviting all of you to join me!

The Rules:

Kiss your spouse each day.
15 seconds or longer.
For one week.

That's it.  Seriously, how easy is this?!?

The idea here is to see if this Dad above was right- will kissing your spouse for just 15 seconds a day help you to create a long lasting and happy marriage?  Will such a small act of love have a big impact on your marriage?

Let's find out!  I'm game- are you?

Tortilla Soup

Soup is awesome!  It's easy to make, healthy, filling and usually very cost effective.  Seriously, who doesn't love soup?  This one is a favorite in our house and most times, I make it without any meat.  Thus, the reason we simply call it, Tortilla Soup.  However, it's super easy to toss in some chicken breast or even your leftover Thanksgiving turkey.  Yeah- you heard me.  I'm putting leftover turkey in our Tortilla Soup tonight!  Woop Woop!


Tortilla Soup

1 onion, diced
6 cloves garlic, diced
1 tablespoon olive or coconut oil
2 15 oz cans diced tomatoes
3 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 cup fresh cilantro
1/2 small can diced green chili's
1 1/2 cup frozen corn
2 cans black beans
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup water
1 chicken breast, optional
salt & pepper to taste

Step 1: Saute onion and garlic in oil.  When translucent, add in spices and cook for approximately 5 more minutes.

Step 2:  Add in canned tomatoes, diced green chili's, chicken broth and water.  Bring to low boil and blend with your immersion blender.

Step 3:  Now add in remaining ingredients and cook on low boil for 30-60 minutes.  The longer the better!

Serve with tortilla chips and sour cream.  SO good!

Tip- I do not drain my black beans.  The juice from the beans adds a really rich flavor to the soup. Enjoy!

Down with GMO's

One of the many goals that I had for the start of 2014 was to further eliminate GMO's from our diet.  For us, this has been a slow and steady process.  I had thought we were doing really well but I have to be honest and say, that in the last year- we've really upped our game.

My focus has been primarily on eating more local foods, further reducing the processed foods and making even more things from scratch- like breads and tortillas.  Now, we really didn't have lots of processed foods to begin with- seriously, there's no canned soups in my pantry and chips are not a staple in our house.  But there's always room for improvement, right?

Last year, we were at a steady 80/20.  Meaning that 80% of what my family ate was organic and GMO free.  Looking back, a year later and we are at a solid 90/10.  Which, if you've ever tried to do this- you know how BIG of an accomplishment this truly is!

This means that when I pack the husband his lunch for work- it is 90% organic and GMO free.  When we eat dinner at home it is 90% organic and GMO free.  The snacks we eat, what we drink, the salad dressings and other condiments- all 90% organic and GMO free.

Wow.

So why am I doing this?  What's the big deal about eating GMO's?

You guys- I'm going to tell you and I really hope you'll listen.  Your health and your children's health literally depend on it.

GMO stands for Genetically Modified Organisms.  Basically, its a plant or animal (whoa! an animal?!) that has been altered in some way.  It is not something that occurs in nature.  It is not natural and as such, we simply don't know 100% that it is safe.  So it stands to reason, that if we don't know it's safe- we probably shouldn't be eating it.

I will also point out that there have been many studies done by Monsanto to prove that GMO's are safe.  However, pay close attention to these studies.  They occur typically within a 3 month time frame and are conducted by people in their employ.  Can you say- conflict of interest?!?

On the other hand, there have been MANY studies showing that GMO's are in fact not safe for human consumption.  Most notably, the recent one done by French scientist, Seralini and his team.  The big difference between these studies and the ones being conducted by Monsanto is that the timeline is much longer- 2 years instead of just 3 months.  This gives you much more data to explore and what he and his team found, was appalling.  Tumors, cancer, kidney and liver damage are among the many increased health risks they found.

Another important point to consider is the reason behind why these companies support GMO's.  Monsanto will tell you that it all comes down to being able to feed the hungry.  They are doing a grand and noble thing by making seeds that are resistant to bugs and weeds and will therefore allow the farmer to have a higher crop yield.  More crops, means more food- right?  Seems like a really great reason, doesn't it?

But did you know that organic farming practices produces the same amount of food and is sustainable for a much longer period of time?

Wait.  What?!?

Yeah....Monsanto doesn't tell people this.  Because if they knew- I think most of us would say, "why do we need Monsanto and it's chemicals when the natural methods work just as well?"  The truth is, we don't.

Parents- I don't know about you, but I simply don't want my child eating foods that could literally kill him.  This is what GMO's will do if eaten for a sustained period of time.  Not too mention all the other side effects like behavior issues, decreased immunity and allergies.  Seriously- let's stop and think.  Our kids are growing up eating this stuff.  There has never been a time in their lives when they were NOT eating GMO's.

It's a new world.  Let's just talk for a moment about the way we grew up eating.  My parents are fond of saying, "you ate this food and you're just fine."  But here's the thing- it's not the same food.  Are you listening?  It's NOT THE SAME FOOD!  Sure, it might look the same and taste the same but the ingredients that are used to make up this food are no longer the same ingredients that they used 20+ years ago.  Ah- the old bait and switch.

The food is different.  Why?  Well major corporations have found that by using GMO ingredients and other chemicals and toxins, they can make more food for less money.  And that's it in a nutshell.  Our food system is owned by just a handful of large companies that have found a way to make more money.  They simply don't care that the ingredients in your corn flakes are now literally made up of pesticides, insecticides and fungicides.  Say what?!?

So what's a concerned Mama to do?  How do you avoid a certain type of food that is literally in every single thing you come across?  How do you get rid of the GMO's?

The only fool proof way to know that you are not eating GMO's is to buy certified organic foods.  Food companies will try to trick you into thinking you are buying the "good stuff" with words just as "All Natural" or "Made with Natural Ingredients" but the only way to know for sure is to buy 100% organic.  Now, if you're too overwhelmed by all this information flooding your brain (it's alot, I know!) then simply look for these labels when out at the grocery store.

There are other simple things you can do- like buying from local famer's who use organic farming practices.  It's not just your breakfast cereal that is contaminated with GMO's.  You must consider the meat your family eats, the dairy, the eggs, the toast you feed your kids for breakfast, the rolls with dinner, the ketchup you put on your hot dog- EVERYTHING.

My advice from a Mom who's been there- terrified, appalled and overwhelmed....start small.  Make a few small changes that you know you can stick to and simply make it a priority.  My recommendation is to start with the animals.  Anything that comes from an animal, needs to be organic.  I won't go into the horrific details of why, but trust me when I say- if you make NO OTHER CHANGES, make this one.  And if you simply must know, Google "factory farms and GMO's" but don't say I didn't warn you.

From there you can move on to produce, snacks and condiments.  One small step at a time.

It all comes down to this- when your child takes a bite of their ham sandwich, will you feel good knowing you are nourishing their body?  Or will you make yourself sick thinking about the chemicals, poisons and health risks that are contained in the meat, cheese and bread?

You can do this.  I know you can.

Decorating for Christmas

Christmas is here!  Christmas is here!

And that means I can FINALLY break out the decor.  Here's the deal- our outside Christmas lights are turned on as soon as we are done eating Thanksgiving dinner.  This is the "official" start to our Christmas season.  On Friday, while the husband is at work- we are busy little elves transforming the inside of the house from Thanksgiving and Fall to all things Christmas.  It takes all afternoon but when we are done- it's magical.  Then, on Saturday, we venture out as a family and pick out our Christmas tree.  By Sunday- we are done and ready to enjoy this wonderful time of year.

Now- over the years, I've spent quite a bit of money and thrown out lots of junk in an effort to make my house look ah-mazing.

Here's a few things that I learned along the way:

• Choose a couple colors and repeat these in your decorations.  My colors are red and silver, classic Christmas.  They can be found in the florals I use, the garlands, the ornaments on the tree, the signs and plagues, the picture frames and candles.  You get the idea here.  By simply repeating a couple signature colors- it makes your decorations look intentional and adds an elegant touch.
• Incorporate as many family touches as possible.  I do this by framing pictures of Christmas' past and I have a couple handmade items that are super special.  Our nativity scene is also a hand me down from my Grandma and then my Mom.
• Select a theme or two.  There's so many trinkets and cute things to buy to decorate your home.  But too much and it will end up looking messy and cluttered.  By simply grouping items together or buying just snowmen or just Santas- it looks cute and kitschy.  You can also build these "groups" or themes in corners of your home.  Gingerbread theme in the kitchen, snowmen by the front window, Santas in the bathroom- you get the idea here.
• Take your time and buy with intention.  If I could say anything to my 20 year old self- it would be this!  Just because it's on sale, doesn't mean you need to buy it!  Think about the big picture and add just a few key items each year.

Alright, so now you've heard my tips for decorating your home for Christmas so it's time for me to share with you some of my decorations.  Yay!

Let's start with the entry.

Silver glitter "Merry Christmas" sign from Hobby Lobby for only $6.  Red and silver frame with poinsettia's on it, also from Hobby Lobby- this year and bought for $5.  Poinsettia glitter garland from Michael's- many many years old but you can buy similar for about $12 each.

As soon as you come into the house, you see our stairway. 

 I recently upgraded the garland's on the railing and decorated them myself.  If you were to buy these pre-assembled, the cheapest I've seen is $50 per garland.  Since I need three to cover the railing, I did it myself to save money.  I bought two of the 9 foot "pine" garlands from Michael's for $6 total.  Add in 3 of the poinsettia garlands for $12 each, one roll of red ribbon, 10 silver glitter pine cone "sticks" and 6 holly berry "sticks" and one long strand of white lights for a grand total of $45.  Much better then $150!

Next up in the tables and nooks in the living room.

 Holly berry picture frame from Kohl's, $7.  Red glitter picture frame from Hobby Lobby, this season and just $5.  Musical snow globe that was a gift many years ago.

Sign from Hobby Lobby, $10 and coordinating red and white glitter snowflake picture frame, $9.  Antique ceramic Christmas tree with lights- from Ebay several years ago for approximately $20.  I purchased this tree because it reminds me of my Dad's side of the family.  His sisters and Mom all had a similar style tree in their home during the Christmas season.

Black wooden candlesticks from Walmart, $15 for the set.  I bought these several years ago and LOVE them!  They might still have them, I highly recommend!  The red sequin candles are from Michael's and cost about $15 for all three.  Two bunches of fake poinsettia's ($6 each) that I put in a large vase and wrapped with leftover ribbon.  By wrapping the ribbon around the outside of the vase, you cover up the fake stems.  Red and silver picture frame from Hobby Lobby, $7.

Sitting atop my desk in our office area is our nativity scene.

My Aunt made the quilted runner underneath and the nativity itself is a hand me down.  First it belonged to my Grandma and then for awhile my Mom had it.  This was the nativity that I used to set up as a child and now my child does it.  This is what this season is all about, the birth of Christ and creating these perfect traditions and family memories.

Moving into the kitchen for the Gingerbread theme.

Super cute mini tree from Target- I got this on clearance about 8 years ago for just $3!  The stocking ornaments were made by my Aunt and the wooden gingerbread pieces were bought as a set off Ebay for about $10.  The two large gingerbread men were also bought on clearance from Marshall's for $3 each.  That's a total of under $20 for this cute gingerbread theme in my kitchen window.  Sweet!

These next photos are of our dining room which is just off the kitchen.

Let's start with the fireplace/mantel.  Our stockings where handmade by my Grandma, with the exception of the Winnie the Pooh and Dalmatian ones.  Those belong to our beloved Rat Terriers, Lucky Dog and Buddy Boy and were gifts.  On top the mantel is another poinsettia garland from Michael's for $12.  I've added a strand of white lights and some of those scented pine cones.  Red glitter candles and glass hurricanes complete the look.  These were both from Michael's and cost approximately $20 total.

The dining table is up next and features rubber place mats with the words "Let it Snow", I picked these up from Ross for just $4.  A Santa and Snowman salt and peppers shakers from the dollar store, for yep- you guessed it, only $1!  Red votive candles with silver glitter snowflakes, also from Ross for $4.  A white vase that was a gift from the husband, two bunches of fake poinsettia's from Michael's for $6 each, some leftover red and silver ornament balls all sitting atop a white and red linen napkins.  Super cute and easy!

And the last part of the dining room decor is the buffet.  My Mom just made me this adorable silver and gold table runner with red "Merry Christmas" accents.  She also gave me the matching silver snowflake candle.  It goes perfectly with the silver trees I bought from Kohl's several years ago for $15 total.  The wooden red "Believe" is an old purchase- sorry that I can't remember where from.

The kiddo also has his very own Christmas tree in his bedroom.  Sorry about the picture, but he insisted on taking it himself.

I bought the tree from Kohls' clearance for $12.  It's a fake one of course and has what we call "been snow kissed" meaning it has accents of white "snow" on the branches.  It is decorated with plastic candy canes, plastic snowflakes, some Disney ornaments and some that he made himself.

This weekend we will be getting our real Christmas tree and I'll be sure to update this post when it's all up and decorated!

After post edit: Our Christmas tree is up & decorated!
We ALWAYS get a living tree.  You simply can't beat that "Christmas smell"

So far- grand total spent on the inside Christmas decor is approximately $250.  I did this over several years, adding a new item or two each year.  If you shop wisely, it's possible to decorate your home for Christmas on a tight budget.

Baked A'Tato Soup

This is one of the husband's all time FAVORITE meals.  He and the kiddo could eat their weight in this soup- it's SO good.  And here's a fun fact for you, we call it "Baked A'Tato Soup" because this is how the kiddo says it.  It's not potato, it's a'tato and it's adorable.

Alright- back to the soup.

Baked A'Tato Soup

3 slices bacon, chopped into small pieces
1 medium onion, diced
2-3 carrots, diced
3 stalks celery, diced
2 teaspoons salt
fresh ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
4 cups chicken broth
2 cups milk
3 medium/large russet potatoes
3 large red or yukon potatoes
heavy cream, optional

Step 1:

Warm oil and butter in a thick bottom large stock pot and cook your bacon.  When bacon is done, remove and let it drain on a paper towel.  Set aside and save for later.

Step 2:

In the same oil/butter, cook the carrots, celery and onion.  Season with salt and pepper.  When veggies are cooked, add in the flour until it thickens.

Slowly add in chicken broth and milk.

Step 3:

Peel and large chop your potatoes and add to the pot.  These do not need to be a perfect chop.  Tip- reserve about 1/2 cup of smaller diced potatoes to add in during the final 10 minutes.

Cook on low boil for approximately 30-60 minutes.  The longer, the better.

Step 4:

Get out your immersion blender and blend baby, blend!

When blended, add in the reserved potatoes.  If your soup is too thick, add in a bit more milk.  However you do want a thicker consistency so don't add in too much additional milk!  Cook another 10 minutes or until the remaining potatoes are done.

Drizzle in about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of heavy cream at the end if so desired.  It's good with it but just as good without.

Serve with your reserved bacon and top with sour cream and onion.  SO good!



A word of wisdom from someone who could literally make this soup in her sleep- it's all about the bacon.  Seriously, with most dishes I will tell you that you can leave out the bacon, but for this soup, you simply MUST have bacon and you MUST cook it in the oil and butter mixture.  Because then you cook your veggies in that bacon infused goodness and that's what gives this soup such amazing flavor.  So whatever you do- do NOT skip step #1.  For the love of God, do not.

Thanksgiving Food Past

I was looking back at some of my old Thanksgiving food photos and couldn't believe some of the great things I had made.  Seriously- was I ever this awesome and on top of my game?!?

It seems like in the last few years, I just don't have the energy to go above and beyond.  Perhaps it's the fact that I'm busier now more then ever before.  Or maybe it's the constant homeschooling, cleaning, working, child caring and so on.  It wears on you and after awhile, I think we all just throw up our hands and say, "No More!"  I served green salad as the veggie dish for last year's Turkey Day for goodness sakes!  Ugh.  Gross.  Clearly I'm losing it.

So this year, I vow to get my Mommy Mojo back!

But before I do that- I want to share some photo's of Thanksgiving food past.  Yes, it's true...I used to be this awesome.

Let's start with these adorable bite sized pumpkin pies.  How cute are these?!?

Turkey cookies for the kiddos- complete with candy corn "feathers".

Shut the front door.  It's a fruit appetizer that looks exactly like a Turkey!

Up next- these adorable "Acorn" donut holes for Thanksgiving breakfast.

And finally, the Pumpkin Mousse Tart with graham cracker crust.

So clearly I am more then capable of tackling the Thanksgiving table.  I suppose I've just gotten burned out.  I think we all have moments in our lives where we "fall back" and simply take a breather.  But in looking at the last couple of years- I really haven't been putting forth the same amount of effort as I have in years past.  But you guys, this year- I'm gonna ROCK IT!

Happy Thanksgiving Friends!  May your table be as bountiful as your beautiful life on this day and every day after.

Vegan "Not" Pea Soup

Ok, so this really is Split Pea Soup but we call it "Not" Pea Soup in our house because the kiddo says he doesn't like peas.  Although he happily gobbles up this soup no problem.  Eh- what he doesn't know won't hurt him!

This dish is super easy to make, cheap, filling and healthy.  Wow, now that's a winner in my book!

Not Pea Soup

1 medium onion, diced

After blending- SO good!

6 cloves garlic, diced
3-4 carrots, diced
3 small to medium potatoes, diced
1/2 teaspoon oregano
salt & pepper
8 cups veggie or chicken broth
1 bag dried split peas


Umm...hello!?!  How simple is that ingredient list!

Step 1:

Saute onions, garlic and carrots for approx 10 minutes.  Add in oregano and salt and pepper to taste.

Step 2:

Add in potatoes, veggie broth and dried split peas.  Cook on low boil until the peas are done- about 1 hour.

Step 3:

Blend with your immersion blender until smooth.  Here's a secret tip for you all- I pull out a couple large spoonful of the peas before blending.  I also reserve about 1/2 cup of the diced potatoes.  Then, when you're done blending- add these back in and cook for another 10 minutes.  This way you'll have a few chunky pieces in your soup- which the husband loves!

So yeah- how easy was that?

This soup will make enough for 4 hungry people with leftovers the next day.  Amazing!!!!

Another Letter of Thanks To The Husband

Husband,

I am SO very thankful for you.

You are the backbone that holds up this family.  I am thankful for your hard work and your dependability.

I am thankful for your amazing support.  For encouraging me to grow, for offering to help me and for always being by my side.

Thank you for being a wonderful Father to our Son.  For showing him what it means to be a real man, for teaching him to love, for being his Hero.

I am thankful for your diligence in reaching the difficult people in our lives.  For stepping back and acknowledging the hurt but continuing to try and reach them even though they aren't listening.

I am thankful for your giving and kind heart.  For your desire to help those in need and to teach our son what it means to give a helping hand.  For your loyalty to your sick Dad and for teaching our son what "family" means.

Thank you for the way that you love me.  Deeply, insanely and all consuming.   I am thankful for your worry, your truth, thankful for your passion and for your partnership.

I am thankful for your willingness to do better.  To strive for more and to make changes when needed.

I am thankful for how you love our puppies and the care you show all living animals.

I am thankful for your smart head and mechanical aptitude.  I am thankful for your street smarts and your tough exterior.

I am thankful that only I know the real you.  That I am the one you count on, the one you lean on, the one you are your true self with.  Others see the persona you've created but have no idea who you really are- but I know.

But most importantly husband, I am thankful to be loved by you and to love you in return.

I am so very thankful for you.

I love you,
The Wife



Check out last year's Letter of Thanks and don't forget to write one of your own.  Thanksgiving is a great time to tell the people in your lives how thankful you are for them.

We Are a Team

Recently the husband came to me and had some pretty amazing things to say.

"I'm so proud of you Babe.  What you're doing is pretty damn cool and I want to be a part of it.  Tell me how I can help you grow this thing."

He was of course talking about The Homeschooled Housewife.  About this blog, the Facebook page and the message we are seeking to share with all of you.

Up until now, the page has really been my baby.  I desired to share my story, I created it, I thought of the name, I spend hours blogging and posting- me.  Sometimes the husband or kiddo will chime in or I'll ask their permission before I share a certain story or picture but for the most part- it's been all me.

Which when you think about it, is kind of funny because this journey of ours is a family journey.  It's our story as a couple, our story as a family, our path together and yet- it's been my voice telling it.  Now, don't get me wrong- there's nothing wrong with that and I've really enjoyed putting a voice to this story.  But I always felt like something was missing.

So the husband and I sat up on the bed one night for well over two hours and we brainstormed.  We wrote down ideas for growth, we discussed our goals and what we desired to do, we thought of ways to make this page better and to encourage and reach more people.  It was a pretty awesome night and by the end we had reached one pretty BIG conclusion.

Together we desire to encourage other families to consider homeschooling, to be a place of support, to help others remain faithful and loving in their marriage and to support others as they raise children who will be independent thinkers and action takers.

We desire to give a voice to the new generation of homeschoolers and young married couples.  We want to change the face of homeschooling and what it means to grow a family, be young, committed and in love.

Wow.

Just wow.

Like I said, it was an awesome night.  We came up with some lofty goals and crazy ideas but the point is that we did this together.  The husband is officially on board!

So what does that mean for the future of The Homeschooled Housewife?  Well first of all, we will be updating this blog and hopefully turning it into a real website.  Sadly, we are both computer illiterate and so we are currently figuring out how to go about this.  Perhaps if we just waited a year or two I'm sure the kiddo could build us the website!  But in the meantime, we will work on figuring it out together.  We hope to add a section where the husband can share about his journey and give a voice to the strong and silent husbands/fathers out there.  After much feedback from the fans- the recipes will keep coming and perhaps we can convince the kiddo to share a bit of his story with all of you as well.  We will also be posting more about our marriage, our love story and our struggles. But for now- its a work in progress with lots of exciting new changes on the horizon!

I also want to say that I am so very blessed to have this supportive and encouraging man by my side.  In all things, we are a team and there's nothing we can't accomplish when we work together.

Let's Talk Forgiveness

Last night the husband and I were talking about some pretty heavy issues- betrayal, trust and honesty.

We maintain a pretty open relationship and share just about everything, seriously- everything.  As a result, we have a strong foundation of trust to build from.  But what happens when the loss of trust happens outside your marriage?  What happens when a friend betrays you?  Or even your own family?  How do you move forward with people who have behaved so poorly?

See- I told you, some pretty heavy issues.

When people you once loved and trusted hurt you- it's difficult to move forward.  Especially when they never apologize.  Oh yeah....the new trend amongst people nowadays seems to be pretending that everything is fine when clearly it is not.

The husband and I are struggling with this.

When we do wrong, we apologize.  When we hurt each other, we apologize.  When we overstep, we apologize.  When we make incorrect assumptions, we apologize.  When we say hurtful things, we apologize.  When we lie and manipulate, we apologize.  Ok- wait....we don't do that last one, but I know a few who do....

Are you sensing a theme here?

When we commit a wrong, we seek to make it right.

But how in the world can you ever forgive and move forward with people who don't seek the same?  Sadly, the reality is that you can't.  We won't.

Things are not the same.  The trust is gone.  You no longer love like you once did and no amount of bullshit "let's hang out" or fake "so good to see you" comments are going to change that.  Because inside, we can see these people for exactly what they are.  They might be able to fool those around them and perhaps even tricked themselves- the devil can do some amazing things you know.  But when we take a look at someone's heart- at their true self, there's no hiding the evil that lurks inside.  Do these people deserve forgiveness?  Should we allow them back into our hearts when they haven't expressed remorse?  Or are we setting ourselves up to be hurt again?

The Bible says we should forgive.  God is merciful and forgiving, even after all we have done.

But here's the real issue.  Where does it say that we forgive unconditionally and then pretend everything is fine once again?  God would want us to guard ourselves and our family against those who seek to do harm- not give them a free pass to do it all over again.  And as we know, in the Bible, those who've done wrong have repented, expressed remorse, APOLOGIZED and to those people, God says- they will be forgiven.

First you must ask before you can receive.

So yeah- last night was intense as the husband and I had a really great discussion on how to move forward in the face of hurt, betrayal and dishonesty.  I can't tell you that we have all the answers because clearly, we don't.  We struggle with this- more then some will ever know.  But what I can say is that we want to forgive.  We want to seek resolution and move forward with those who've caused such horrific destruction.  However we also acknowledge that some people are worth the effort while some will never change and some things are simply unforgivable.  So for now- we continue to have faith that resolution will come all while playing the "pretend game", the husband is a rock star at the "pretend game".

For those of you struggling with this issue- I have this to say.  Look after your own family and be the gatekeeper of your home.  Allow those who are good and pure to enter your heart and home but tread carefully with those who've hurt you.  Desire resolution, have faith that it will come- someday.  But guard your gate nonetheless.  Your home is sacred ground.  It is where you grow your family and nurture your marriage and only good things should enter through it.

Holiday Hands

Oh My Gawd you guys.

I'm sitting here at my laptop and I'm reading about this awesome project called Holiday Hands and I'm weeping.  Seriously- blowing my nose all over that toilet paper and blubbering in my morning (ok afternoon) coffee.

This.

Is.

So.

Awesome.

And of course I knew that I just had to share with all of you.  The awesomeness that is this awesome thing.  There's a pretty great woman behind this awesomeness (no surprises there!) and she's over on her blog, Momastery.  If you haven't read her stuff, you need to.  Trust me on this one.  So this Mom has put together this project called Holiday Hands.  People in need post what they need and people who want to help, help.

But that seems so simple.

It is, it really is.

But here's why it's the most awesome thing I've come across in awhile.  It's not just about donating money.  Sure, some people need money.  But it's about MORE then money.  For example, here's some of the current "needs" posted on the site; gifts for baby sister who is on her 2nd deployment in Afghanistan, Christmas cards to lonely, recently widowed Grandpa, single Mom needs new shoes for her children, pen pal for depressed 10 year old daughter, letters of support for older woman who just left abusive marriage and on and on it goes.

So yeah.

I just....I can't even....I don't....yeah.  This is awesome.

The project has been closed for the year.  But fear not!  You can still donate to the Together Rising fund which helps to pay for all this awesomeness.  And if you have a NEED and were not able to sign up in time, you can email this amazing woman and her team at contact@togetherrising.org.

It's really that simple.

Here's the link for more information.

********************************************************************************

Update on Holiday Hands-

400 families asked for help and all 400 NEEDS are being met.  Every.  Single.  One.

Now that is awesome.

Dates For Real Couples

Do you ever read those articles full of ideas for date night and you're like, "say what?!?"

I sure do.

As lovely as a spa weekend away or horseback riding in the hills may sound- it just isn't realistic.  Mostly because the husband and I are NOT horse people and we sure as shit don't have money for a fancy weekend away.  Not gonna happen.

So really- what's a normal couple to do on a tight budget?

Ooh....I'm SO glad you asked!  Today I'm going to be sharing with you some fun and creative date ideas.  Some of these activities will cost more then others, while some of them will be totally free.  That's right, FREE!

First of all- let me just begin by saying that you might need to re-think your idea of a date night.  For us, it's not so much about what we do but rather more about spending the time doing it together.  Without the kiddo.  As in, just us.

Secondly- whenever anyone asks what they can get you for a gift, be it Christmas, your birthday, graduation etc- tell them you want a gift card.  Gift cards are a thrifty couple's best friend!  If you have a favorite restaurant, you can request gift cards to this restaurant.  Or how about movie tickets? However, the best gift cards are the generic VISA ones that can be used anywhere.  HELLO date night funding!

Alright, we've covered a few tips, now let's get to the good stuff!  What in the world are you going to do on your dates?

1. Dinner and a Movie.  Well this is a no brainer really, but there's always ways to improve upon this one.  Make it a matinee to save money, go on a weeknight so it's less crowded, find a cheap theater or even try out one of those theaters that serves you dinner right there!  Do a double feature or a restaurant crawl.  A what?  So yeah- start with drinks and appetizers at one restaurant, break it up with a movie, head to another restaurant for dinner or tapas and then end the night with dessert.  Voila- a restaurant crawl!
2. Get Outside!  One of our favorite things to do is simply get outside and enjoy the beauty of nature.  It's quiet, peaceful and free.  The husband loves to fish, so many of our dates usually end up with us at some small lake.  While I hate fishing- many times, I'll take a book and sit by the shore and read.  Or we'll talk while he fishes.  Many times we stop at the drive-thru and have a picnic too.  Talk a walk through the woods, visit a nature preserve, go apple picking, etc.
3. Shopping.  Tell me- what couple hasn't ended up at the grocery store on a date night?  You wouldn't be normal if you didn't.  The temptation of a trip down the aisles sans kiddos is simply to much to resist.  But don't forget you can also go to the mall, Target, Costco, outlet malls....yeah, there's lots of options here.  Round out the fun with dinner and drinks at your favorite restaurant.
4. Seasonal Dates.  This is perhaps my favorite on the list because the holidays are of course my favorite time of year.  We are lucky that there's many great things happening in our area from October to January.  Haunted corn mazes, Zoolights, ballet, theater, festivals- seriously, the best!  But my favorite way to end a date during the Christmas season is my simply grabbing a Starbuck's Gingerbread Latte and driving around looking at all the great Christmas lights.
5. Explore your Hobbies.  The husband is a big gun enthusiast and of course, I love reading and the arts.  Date nights are the perfect time to explore each other's passions.  For example, the husband is teaching me to shoot at a local gun range, he's a former safety instructor so he's a great teacher!  Other times, we'll end up at a book store laughing in the comedy section.  Up next- we hope to try glass blowing.
6. Find Something New.  Perhaps there's a new restaurant you want to try but it's 30 minutes away.  Or maybe you heard about a new upscale furniture store opening up downtown.  Even something as simple as hopping in the car to explore the neighboring town.  Date nights are the perfect time to explore something new and venture into new frontiers!
7. Shop the Groupon and Living Social.  Alright- so sometimes these things are absurd.  Who really wants to learn how to walk a tightrope or participate in a murder mystery theater dinner?  But other times, they can inspire some fun and different date night ideas.  For example, our area is currently offering ghost tours, comedy club tickets and pottery classes and the price is typically half of what you would normally pay!
8. A Quiet Night at Home.  This one is a little tricky and requires all the stars to align in your favor but if you can pull it off- it's amazing.  Put the kids to bed early, turn off all the electronics and unplug from the real world.  Take a bath together, sit in bed and eat ice cream and talk, couples massages- seriously, just take a night off and focus on relaxing together.  
9. A Night to Yourselves.  This one falls right in line with #8 but it's even better!  Ship your kids off to various locations (hello sleepovers!) or call in reinforcements in the form of grandparents.  Then you are free to explore all the beauties of #8 without the fear of the precious little kiddos interrupting.  This one works best for the couples that need a weekend away but can't afford a weekend away.
10. Volunteer.  We are currently exploring more volunteer opportunities together as a couple.  This year, we will be sponsoring a family for Christmas, filling stockings for homeless youth and shopping for Toys for Tots.  I hope to be able to add more things to this list like serving a meal to the homeless and helping out at a food bank.  Think of all the great things you could do together to give back to those in need.  Treat yourself to dinner or dessert after!

You'll notice that a few things are noticeably absent, like dancing or going to bars.  That's because we simply don't enjoy these things but perhaps you'll want to add it to your list.  I highly suggest you each sit down and make a list of all the things you want to do- get creative!

Full disclosure- I have to be honest here and say that the husband and I have gotten away from planning and as a result, our date nights have become a little stale.  Recently we discussed how we could spice things up and so we've set up some perimeters and added them to our previous guidelines. 

• Each person plan one date per month.
• Rotate between things that cost more and cost less.  Keep your budget in mind.
• No major surprises.  In theory, they sound great- but for us, it never works.  Little sweet surprises are great- but keep it simple here.
• Be flexible.  If your spouse has planned something that you really don't want to do- try to keep an open mind and just enjoy your time together.  If the restaurant you want to go to is crazy busy, have another option in mind.  Flexibility is key.
• This is sacred time- meaning no phone calls from family, no texts between friends.  The only person you should be picking up your cell phone for is your babysitter in case of emergency.
• Keep it varied.  If you've just had a dinner and a movie date, make sure you don't do it again twice in a row.  Variety is the spice of life after all...
• You plan the things you want to do and vice versa.  It simply doesn't work if you ask the husband to plan a shopping date while you plan a paintball date if it's not something your really interested in.  Then you end up with a lame date and someone who is disappointed because it wasn't what they really wanted.  Trust me on this one.
• Don't put too much pressure on it.  If it's been awhile since you've had date nights, it's hard not to go into them with big expectations.  So at least in the beginning, keep it light and fun.

Wow- now this seems much more realistic then going birdwatching and learning to salsa.  At least for us it is!  No matter what you decide to do, keep in mind the most important thing of all- you need these date nights.  Your marriage needs this quality time away.  You must make them a priority because if you don't- your relationship will start to unravel.

And of course- don't forget to have fun!