Mama Bear Strikes Again

The kiddo attends a homeschool Swim and Gym class at our local YMCA.  While they offer 3 days of classes, the kiddo attends just one day due to our busy schedule.  Since this class began in September, he has been complaining to me about one particular child.  This kid is VERY physically aggressive, likes to make threats, says mean things, name calls etc.  In general, this child exhibits clearly unacceptable behavior.

As the kiddo's parent, I have instructed him on what he needs to do when this child comes at him with this poor behavior.  Very simple and basic stuff y'all.

#1- Tell the kid to stop.  Be nice but firm.

#2- Tell the adult in charge.

#3- Avoid this kid.

See....BASIC stuff.  In addition, I also have had several conversations with the kiddo about why this particular child may be exhibiting this behavior.  We've discussed that the kiddo needs to be understanding, forgiving and graceful.  So when these tools didn't work and this child's poor behavior continued, I reached out to the administration.  I first made a phone call to the woman in charge of the homeschool classes and she assured me she would keep an eye on things and let the instructor of the class know what was going on.  She agreed with me that this type of behavior wasn't OK and that this particular child was indeed a "problem child".  In fact, she knew exactly who I was speaking about and her words were, "he's a PUNK."

Great.

Good.

Yeah, no.....unfortunately, we then entered a cycle of me complaining to the administration (the husband even went in and spoke with them personally), things getting better for a brief time and then the poor behavior continuing again and thus starting back at square one.   

Last week, this child threw big orange cones at the kiddo and his friend, called them some awful names and then threatened to break the kiddo's friend's glasses.  Twice.  When I asked where the adults were, the kiddo simply shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know."

Not good.

At all.

So you best believe this Mama Bear once again went to the administration in charge.  I even went so far as to contact her boss and her boss's boss.  Yeah, I'm going up the mother fucking chain y'all because I am done messing around.  I feel that what I am asking is not difficult- my expectation is that my child will be safe and free from harm while he is in a program at the YMCA.  This includes physical and verbal abuse and the sad truth is that this simply isn't happening.

After another thirty minute phone call, where I very clearly expressed my frustrations and was in turn offered a butt ton of excuses- I have to say that I am not encouraged.  For months I have been expressing my concerns and being met with "you're right- this is unacceptable" and for months we have seen no change or improvement.  When the YMCA administrator asked what I wanted her to do I asked two very simple, basic and common sense questions.

#1- Have you separated these boys?

#2- Have you contacted this child's parents?

The answer to both was NO or I Don't Know.  Ridiculous people- simply ridiculous!  To then learn that the instructor of the class who has just finished his teaching certification, dismissed the kiddo's concerns and his repeated complaints does NOT bode well.  This man will soon be in a classroom environment TEACHING our nation's youth?  Yikes.  And to make matters worse, the administrator flat out admitted to me that she didn't take me seriously because "I was the only parent complaining and she thought it was just a case of boys being boys."

Listen.  Bullying behavior is NEVER acceptable and this is NOT a case of boys being boys.  No.  And flat out, it is NEGLIGENT on her part to not take my continued complaints seriously.

So....my message to the YMCA should they ever see this.

#1- When a child is repeatedly going to the adult in charge saying to you that they have a problem, whether YOU personally believe its true or not, you have an obligation to address these concerns.  A fucking OBLIGATION.

It is NOT acceptable to ignore any child because you think they may simply be angry/frustrated/exaggerating etc.  And when these complaints are happening weekly, you are also responsible to investigate this issue further and to TAKE ACTION.

#2- When a parent has spoken to you regarding this issue repeatedly and you have admitted that this kid is a PUNK, it is NOT acceptable to then turn around and call their child a liar because you do not have photographic proof of the supposed "events" in question.  You know this kid is bad, it is not out of the realm that other kids are having difficulties with him.

It is also not acceptable to dismiss these repeated concerns that are coming from A PARENT because you felt this was a case of "boys being boys".  Listen, yes- boys are their own breed.  Rough, handsy, full of the business- I get it.  We ALL get this.  Bullying is NOT a case of boys being boys.  Learn the fucking difference.

#3- The YMCA clearly needs some training in COMMON SENSE.  You make your money off of families and are in the business of CHILDREN.  You should know some very basic and common sense tools when dealing with all children.  Things like separating children who clearly aren't getting along would be a no brainer.

A.  No.  Brainer.

And when my kid comes to you and BEGS to be separated from the problem child- please explain to me why your reply is "your good."

Good for a lawsuit you mean?

#4- After months of complaints from me, the YMCA should have reached out to the parents of this problem child.  Even if YOU don't believe these complaints to be true, you have a responsibility to notify the parents of what is going on regarding their children.

Again- BASIC COMMON SENSE.

If the roles were reversed and another child had an issue with the kiddo, you best believe I would want to know.  In fact, I would be mad as hell that you didn't feel it necessary to inform me.  This is absolutely unacceptable.


So- let's bottom line this shall we.

• We all know this kid is a problem.  The YMCA is calling him a PUNK so clearly we aren't alone in our thoughts.
• My kid has gone through the proper channels.
• The husband and I have gone through the proper channels.
• Our complaints have repeatedly been dismissed for almost 9 months.
• Our child is currently being bullied while at the YMCA.
• The YMCA is not taking his safety seriously.
• The YMCA has failed to discuss this issue with the parents of the problem child.

Now please hear this.  I am not one to use the term "bully" lightly.  But this is exactly what is happening.  Continuous, long term physical aggression as well as verbal threats and taunting ARE bullying.   

While the kiddo could easily engage (and trust me when I say that he very much wants to) in a physical altercation with this problem child, this is NOT the path we want our kid to take.  We are trying to teach verbal communication and resolution here, NOT to solve your issues in life with your fists.  With that being said, there comes a time in life where "talking it out" is out of reach.  Sometimes you have to knock someone on their ass for them to knock their shit off.  And since the YMCA has so clearly dismissed our repeated concerns, the next time this problem kid comes after my child- he will be dealt with accordingly.  

It is sad and very frustrating to me that we are even at this point.  I am extremely disappointed in our local YMCA and their clear lack of action.  100%.  But I REFUSE to allow my child to be treated this way and I fully support my child's right to be safe and respected.

I have a feeling this issue isn't over- but I do hope that our local YMCA understands that this Mama Bear is not going to hide away in a cave somewhere and simply "forget" or go away.  You pissed off the wrong Mama folks.  I'm coming for you now.