Teaching Your Children That Different is OK

I love ALL THE THINGS about this recent article, called Teach Kids It's Ok to Ask About Disabilities and Illness.  Seriously you guys- all the things.  Please take a moment to read the article before reading the rest of this post because its truly a good thing.

With that being said, I can offer you all a very unique perspective on this topic of disabilities and illness.  I'm sure most everyone has someone in their family who's been through a debilitating and life altering illness but what about a disability?  How about in your immediate family?  Were they born this way?  Have you lived your entire life under this umbrella of DIFFERENT?

I have.

My sister was born with cerebral palsy.  I can't tell you how many children asked us, "why does she walk funny?"  They still ask.  Or the grown ups who used to yell at my Mom for parking in the handicapped spaces.  Yeah, that stuff leaves an impression on you as a kid.  For sure.

I was born with a heart defect and I have a very long (although now pretty faded) scar that runs down my chest.  If you've looked closely, perhaps you've seen it in some of my photos over on the Facebook page.  Growing up, I was "that girl with the scar" and as I got older I became, "the girl who can't do PE because of her scar".  People used to ask me if they could touch it- as if I was some freak of nature....

When the kiddo was six, he was hit by a car.  He wore a neck brace for awhile and then a full on back brace for over a year.  We didn't hide the back brace but chose to embrace it and every single person

we came across stared.  Not all of them asked but they all wanted to.  Knowing that people are looking and pitying you or that children might be scared or upset by what happened to you, it's a heavy thing.

All of these life situations give me the knowledge and ability to speak on this subject.  BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME....OK, I'm kidding here but really, I know about this stuff mmkay...

Growing up with a sister who could NOT ever hide her disability taught me to be an advocate for those with noticeable differences.  I learned very quickly at a young age who was simply curious and who was mean spirited.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking with kindness, with being curious, with wanting to learn more.  Nothing.  But please know that it is simply all in HOW you ask that makes the difference.

Living my own life of someone with a life changing FOREVER health issue has taught me that there are more to people then what you see on the surface.  They might look healthy and appear fabulous but you truly don't know what is going on in their hearts, minds and bodies.  People can hide stuff, serious stuff.

It's OK to be "different"!

Having a child, who for a limited length of time, suffered a very serious injury has by far been the most life changing for me.  There is simply no greater fear than something happening to your child.  None.  Mothering my child through this was difficult.  But teaching him to rejoice in the health and life he does have and to NOT be bound by perceived limitations was a wonderful lesson for us all.  Showing him how to be OK with his injury and as a result, his temporary change in outward
appearance became the silver lining.  As a result, it gave him even more empathy and understanding for those with injuries, illness and disabilities.

Personally- I embrace the questions.  Please feel free to ask us these questions in a kind and respectful manner and we will absolutely take the time to respond in an appropriate way.  Teach your children that it's OK to have questions and it's OK to ask these questions but it's not OK to stare, point, laugh or degrade anyone.  THIS right here is the difference y'all.

To be perfectly honest with you, I think this type of approach applies to everyone and everything.  NOT just those with disabilities, illness, injuries etc.  Curiosity is natural and education is the organic bi-product of your inquisitiveness.  Please teach your children this, please.

As for my own outward difference- it is simply a part of me.  It's just a part of my body and in truth, I really don't notice my scar.  I clearly don't hide it and I don't wish it away.  It's beautiful, just like the rest of me.  But I will tell you that the inward health of my body is of utmost importance and yes- physically I do have some limitations.  Although I feel extremely blessed that they are very minor and manageable.

For my child, he learned to be proud of his back brace.  He wore it every single day, outside his clothing, with no complaints for well over a year.  No complaints from a six year old?!?  Now that truly is a miracle mmkay....Whenever he noticed someone staring that was too afraid to ask, he would tell them, "I was hit by a car and now I wear this."  We talked about it, we dealt with it head on and we did it together, as a family.  The kiddo will always have some lasting health concerns because of his injury but they will simply become a part of his story and certainly nothing to be ashamed or afraid of.

I do hope that reading about my family's story, even just a very small part of it, can offer you some help and understanding in how to teach your children about disabilities, injuries and illness.  Or maybe it's even offered you some insight.  It's OK to be "different" and this is simply what we should be teaching ourselves and our children.  Embrace who you are, educate others and be kind.  We are all in this journey together.

Follow Up: Opt Out of Christmas

I've told quite a few people that we chose to "opt out" of Christmas this year and the response is almost always one of confusion.  What exactly does it mean to "opt out"?  How is this even possible?  Why would you want to do this?

Good questions for sure!

Now that Christmas has come and gone, I thought I would update y'all and share exactly what opting out meant for my family.

We normally host Christmas Day dinner.  Big meal, lots of friends and family, fancy china, decorations, cocktails, music- THE WORKS.  We didn't do that this year and instead chose to invite Grammie and Grampie over for soup, Piepalooza 2015 (basically a butt ton of pies that we gorged on all day long) and lots of Christmas movies.  We played Battleship, watched all three of the Santa Clause movies, played Legos, ate pie and took naps.  It was glorious.

We did not participate in any Christmas parties or events.  Now- this one was a bit more tricky because your loved ones want you there.  But you guys- I'm really so very glad we made this choice.  No big extended family get togethers, no work parties, no friend's nights out means NO extra gifts to give, NO shuffle to make it all fit into an already packed holiday schedule and NO stress.

Typically we plan quite a few holiday themed activities or have events that we try to go to during this busy season.  We did NOT plan a single thing.  Even Christmas Day was very loose as I seriously just invited over the Grandparents and had NO idea what time they were arriving.  We relaxed and just focused completely on being a family.  And when we did go somewhere or do something fun- we did it OUR way.

We took time off.  Holy Buckets but the husband hasn't had a Christmas off in 5 years.  FIVE YEARS!!!!  This year, he planned way in advance and was able to take the 23rd-27th off.  This was simply the very best gift this Christmas!  We had time to watch Christmas movies all together on the couch, we played the new video games that Santa brought, we went out looking at Christmas lights at 9pm at night, we ate cheeseburgers and fries, we visited a local church to see their light display, we drove to a local garden to see their fun outdoor display, we sang naughty Christmas carols, we went exploring in a nearby town, the husband and I had even more quality married people time, we went to the gun range, we played hours of ball with Buddy Boy, we slept in, we went to bed late- we just relaxed and enjoyed our time together with no real schedule and no real plan.

We gifted differently.  Normally Santa brings the kiddo all the good stuff- ie. the toys while the husband and I gift the necessities ie. socks, gloves, shoes etc.  Typically Santa brings about 10-15 items for the kiddo and 5 items for the grownups.  This of course does not include the stockings stuffed with goodies.  This year, Santa still came, but he brought less.  WAY less.  The kiddo had a total of 5 items under the tree from Santa and the grown ups, just 2 or 3.  The stockings were stuffed with 5 small items each.  The type of gifts were also very different and this was the very first year that the kiddo did NOT get the one item he asked Santa for.  Sorry kid, no Lego Millennium Falcon this year....

Our gifts to the kiddo were much smaller and we spent much less.  It's not that we go crazy on Christmas but we did make a big effort to cut way back on Christmas spending this year.  Not because we couldn't afford to spend more but because we wanted to take the focus off material items this year.  We also did not gift to many people that we normally gift to.  Mainly because we had opted out of most Christmas events, there wasn't a need to show up with gifts in hand.  However we also wanted to opt out of the commercialism aspect of what Christmas has sadly become.  Those that we did gift to, only received one item.  And many of the gifts we gave were free.  We chose to find gifts using our local Buy Nothing Facebook page which had the added benefit of getting us out into our community and meeting more of our neighbors.

We spent more time helping our community then ever before.  Our family has always been community service driven and we are raising our child with a heart for change.  But this year- we turned a corner.  We found many in need in our community (neighbors even, right down the street!) and we gave.  Then we gave some more.  We opened up our hearts and our wallets to give Christmas to other families instead of making it even bigger for our own.

So yes- we made several changes this year and I have to say that it was by far, one of our best Christmases ever.

We still put up decorations, we still had Christmas dinner (just not the traditional one), we spent time with family, we had presents, Santa arrived, we had our tree and our eggnog but it was just on a much smaller scale.  We opted out of the stress, the commercialism, the chaos and opted in to family, a heart to give, our community and the entire reason for the season.

Would I do this again?

In a mother truckin' heartbeat y'all.

I have to admit that I did miss dining on my wedding china and sipping from my platinum rimmed crystal goblets but other than that- yeah, it was the most wonderful, relaxing and blessed Christmas that we've had in quite awhile.

I'm already looking forward to next Christmas and taking the lessons we've learned from this year.  So many good things.  SO.  MANY.


Want to read the first post?  Click here!


Psst- Want to know what Opting Out REALLY looked like at my house???

First it looked like this.....

Then a little of this....

Pie Break!!!

And finally....some of this.

Costco On a Tuesday

It's Tuesday night and the husband and I were on an impromptu date night and found ourselves at Costco.  Because all married people know that a date night in December equals Christmas shopping mmkay....and since it was nearing closing time, the place was pretty empty.  Well...as empty as a Costco in mid December can be!

We walked around and I noticed a few people staring.  But hey- this is nothing new for us.  Several people literally leaped out of the husband's way, as if he would run them over with his double wide shopping cart. Ha!  A few ladies gave me some pretty intense glares when the husband grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him for a kiss.  Eh- jealousy breeds bitterness ladies and I ain't even worried mmkay....  And I'm not even joking when I say that one sweet family literally turned their shopping cart around so as not to go down the same deserted isle as the husband.  "But Mommy, I thought we needed the cereal in this isle?" 

RUN CHILD- SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!!  Ok- this part didn't really happen but it certainly felt like it!

I wouldn't say that I've become immune to this behavior from complete strangers but I have become used to it.  So the constant disapproving glare from the older lady ahead of us at the cash register was really quite a shock for me.  She watched us as we placed every single item on the register.  EVERY SINGLE ITEM.  Gave a disapproving huff when the bulk package of condoms made their way to the belt but clearly wasn't bothered by the Vitamin D or cheese. Hey- married people practice safe sex too Grandma!  Checked to see if we were wearing wedding rings (at least I'm thinking that was what the intense stare at my ring finger was for!) and then proceeded to give me the stare down of my life.  It was so almighty that I turned to the husband and said in a stage whisper, "maybe she thinks you're hot."  What can I say- we all know I have a bad habit of inserting my foot into my mouth and this was no exception.

It was at that point that I decided to run and hide use the ladies restroom and let the husband wait to pay.  When I decided it was safe and quit being such a big baby was finished using the restroom and came back out, I asked the husband if this woman said anything or just continued to stare at him.  It was then that he told me that once I retreated to the ladies restroom, she actually started minding her own business.  The husband was under the impression that she was trying to figure out what a woman like me what doing with a man like him.

BWHAHAHA

I just can't even.  No words.

But then I started thinking on it.  Like- really thinking on it.  And it made me so sad.  We'll never know why she gave us the most scrutinizing stare down of our lives but I hope it was because she thought we were AWESOME and not because she was silently judging us.

The unfortunate reality is that we are all guilty of casting judgment on others.  Intentional or not, it happens.  There is not one single person among us who is free from judgment.  And so I really took some time to experience what it felt like to be so harshly and silently judged by another for no reason other than our appearance and the contents of our shopping cart.  I feel like I need a sticker that screams "DON'T JUDGE ME BY THE CONTENTS OF MY SHOPPING CART MMKAY!!!" 

At this point, I am used to it- people look at the husband and judge him simply based upon the way he looks, people judge our parenting, our lifestyle, we get judged for not being Christian enough, judged for drinking and swearing, judged for spending too much time together, judged for homeschooling....really, the list goes on and on.  But in turn, we also judge others.

Is this human nature?  I just don't know. 

It doesn't feel good, that's what I do know.  I don't appreciate the way people treat my husband, I don't understand their anger over how we choose to parent and I really could do without the peanut gallery speaking on my marriage.  Peanut gallery- are you listening??  I'm over it.

So last night while browsing the TV's the size of Manhattan apartment and picking up a package of toilet paper that one would think would last far longer than it actually does- I learned a pretty good lesson.  Judging others just might be human nature but that doesn't mean it should be.  

And that is what happens when we go to Costco.  On a Tuesday.

Smothered Burritos

This recipe was all about the trial and error.  We seriously eat SO much Mexican food that I was looking for a new way to make an old favorite, thus- the Smothered Burritos.  What I love most about this recipe is that not only is it vegetarian, but that most folks already have the ingredients in their kitchen.  No need to grocery shop just for this recipe mmkay....

Smothered Burritos
*Will make approx 16 soft taco size burritos

1-15 oz can red enchilada sauce

2 cans pinto beans, drained
1/2 small can diced green chili's
1 onion, diced
4-6 cloves garlic, minced
1 bell pepper, diced *I use a combo of colors
1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke
splash Tabasco
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
salt, pepper
1 cup sour cream
10-14 flour tortillas
2 cups shredded cheddar
2 cups shredded mozzarella


Step 1: Saute onions, garlic and bell peppers in a little bit of coconut or olive oil.  When translucent, add in your spices and salt and pepper to taste.

Step 2: Add in your enchilada sauce, beans, sour cream, Tabasco and liquid smoke.  Allow to simmer on low while you prep your burritos.

Step 3:  Place cheese in flour tortillas and roll up.  I use 2- 9X13 glass pans (SPRAY FIRST!!!) and then simply fill both pans with your cheese filled tortillas.  Depending on the size of your tortillas, you may have more or less burritos in each glass pan.  I had about 8 in each one when using the soft taco size tortillas.

Step 4:  Pour your sauce evenly over the top of each pan of burritos.  Your tortillas should be completely covered.

Step 5:  Bake 325 for approx 30 minutes.   You're seriously just melting cheese here so just keep an eye on it and remove from oven when done.

Step 6:  This step is optional.  Place another layer of cheese over the top of your burritos after you've removed them from the oven.  I opt out of this one since we don't need more cheese but either way is good!

Serve with shredded lettuce, olives, green or red onions, sour cream, salsa, avocado...seriously the sky is the limit here!

When Thanksgiving Isn't....

Sigh....

My thoughts on this "family" Thanksgiving trip we took are pretty raw still.  I went into this trip with massive amounts of trepidation but was hoping for a peaceful journey.  The reality is that we all, kiddo included, came home from this trip just a bit broken.  We learned some very sad lessons probably made even more devastating by the fact that it involved those who are a part of our family.  Family is hard y'all....

HARD.

While I don't wish to get into details because it is NOT my intention to cause my parents upset, a few things must be said.

Throughout this trip, I was forced to keep my mouth shut and not utter one single word in my own defense or my child's defense.  I knew that if I were to say something, the shit would fly and since I was a guest in someone's home, I would never intentionally allow this.  This was seriously much harder for me then I had anticipated.

My child was subjected to some pretty horrific behavior and it made him extremely upset.  It makes me upset just thinking about it.  I feel as if I failed to protect my boy from someone who he should never need protection from.  It's just devastating really....

Differences in parenting styles became alarmingly clear and not in a good way.  Listen, I am and always have been one to say that we all do things differently and that there's nothing wrong with that.  Hello!  If I want others to respect the way we parent and our life choices, I should be offering the same in return. But in this case, the behavior that I was witness to is NEVER ok.  Never.

I was left extremely disappointed in people I have always admired.  Well crap.  Doesn't it just suck when you realize that those you love and admire have flaws?  Like- BIG FLAWS.  Yeah, it wasn't good.

I was prepared for a certain amount of chaos and excitement.  Travelling with 11 people will do that...but I wasn't ready for the reality of the situation.  I am truly saddened by the behavior that others feel is acceptable and it hurts my heart to think that there's an entire generation of parents raising up their children to think this type of behavior is OK.

Currently I have all these thoughts and emotions just tumbling around in my heart and my head.  In truth, I'm having a hard time processing them.  But through it all, there were some really great affirmations that were reinforced for me and the husband.  So in an effort to end this blog post on a positive note, I want to share them with you all now.


What I Know to Be True:

• My husband is simply the best.  He jumped in to help whenever there was a need.  He supported me, he was there for the kiddo, he held my hand when I needed him close and he stayed quiet in an effort to keep peace.  He did this for me.  Words can't even describe what it feels like to have a man like this in your corner.
• Our decision to keep our child away from public school and his "peers" was completely reinforced on this trip.  There's simply no reason for children to treat each other this way and I'm so thankful that our child is not subjected to it on the regular.
• I do not want more children.  Good Lord but I am SO happy with our decision to stop at one child.  I totally support large families- trust me, I do!  But we are so very happy as a family of 3.  Praise Jesus I listened to my husband.
• Your behavior, your character, your actions, your words- these are yours and yours alone.  How you behave and choose to react is what will determine your character and your worth.  Sometimes, when being attacked we must stay silent.  Not because we have nothing to say but because we are good and pure of heart.  Doing what is right doesn't always mean you do what is justified.
• There's truly no place like home. 
• Moving forward, I am only doing things that will be healthy for myself and my boys.  I learned that I can't do things (like this trip) just to please others.  While I have never been a "people pleaser" we all at times in our lives have done things for the benefit of others.  However many times, this comes as a sacrifice to our own mental well being.  Never again will I do this.
• Family is not about blood.  Listen, I have some truly amazeballs people in my family.  I simply love almost every single one of them.  The truth is that family should always be made up of people who are in your corner loving you and supporting you, so when you have someone toxic in your life- it's ok to distance yourself and make room for the good ones.  Even if those toxic people are technically family- sometimes you've just got to walk away.
• Homeschooling is perhaps the very best decision that we have ever made.  Our boy has a childhood.  In an age when 10 and 12 year olds are all up in their Facebook and Instagram, he wants to play Legos and run around outside.  His innocence is still there and for that, I will forever be thankful.
• I will not be a party to other's judgement and jealousy.   
• I am so in love with my own little family.  Goodness but we live a truly blessed life.  I have a husband who I love more and more each day- I simply can't get enough of him!  I have a child who frustrates me and makes me laugh.  I am a Wife, a Mother, a Teacher, a Writer- I am ALL THE THINGS that I've always wanted to be.  How many women get this opportunity to live out their dream?  My life is seriously so beautiful and full.

To wrap this up, I simply want to say that Family is hard.  I have yet to meet a single person who had a perfect family and extended family.  Perfection doesn't exist.  With that being said, family should only ever be made up of good things.  Even if you're fighting and at odds, if you're coming from a heartfelt place- it is good and worthwhile.  We must learn, and I pray this comes with age y'all, when to keep trying and when to simply walk away.  We don't have to subject ourselves and our children to toxic people- we just don't.

I have so many things to be thankful for and most certainly on that list is my family.  We are blessed to have some great people by our side, gracing our table, being an important part of our child's life, making memories, sharing, loving, laughing....all the good things that make up a real family.  These are the people that we will focus our love and attention on.  

As a side note, many of you might remember my post over on the Facebook page a few days prior to Thanksgiving.  Tragically, a friend and co-worker of the husband's died suddenly in his sleep right before the holiday.  So in the midst of all this family crap and trying to be THANKFUL and deal- we had this sudden loss to process.  Many times there are no words for the feelings just that they are so deep and so raw.  Can you even imagine his family and their loss?  It's just too much to even think about.

How can you not come home and see your own life in a different way after something so heartbreaking and tragic?  

You can't.  

You shouldn't.

This is my advice to you all.  Life a life full of goodness and light.  Unapologetically- live your best life, your way.

Opt Out This Christmas

Well, we are officially back from our big Thanksgiving trip...more about THAT later mmkay...but since coming back, the husband and I have made a few decisions regarding this Christmas season.

We are slowing it down.  Like...way....down....

For years, we've hosted Christmas dinner and all the fun, expense and chaos that goes along with it.  Don't get me wrong, I seriously LOVE Christmas and having a big family and friends Christmas day meal is a major part of that.  But along with it comes a certain amount of stress and a whole lot of money.  Feeding 20+ people entirely from scratch isn't cheap y'all!  Since we typically host Thanksgiving and end up doing something with friends for New Year's- that's a whole lot of money, time, stress etc throughout the entire holiday season.

Combine this with a particularly difficult Thanksgiving WEEK and the husband and I just decided to opt out.  That's right- we are saying no this Christmas to everything that is non-essential and may involve any amount of stress.

You see....we actually want to enjoy our Christmas together as a family.  And so, we will be holding that thought close to our hearts as we break the news to family and friends that we are indeed- opting out.

Sorry....not sorry...

In addition to this new found stress free holiday, the husband will actually have several days off work.  You guys- he hasn't had Christmas or Christmas Eve off in well over five years.  And I'm just so beyond thankful and excited about that that the very last thing I want to do is schlep everywhere and add in stress to our rare family time.  Just not gonna happen mmkay...

So what exactly are we saying no to this Christmas?

Most definitely we are NOT hosting Christmas day.  We also will not be going anywhere on Christmas day.  Listen- if people want to come over and hang and play with our Christmas goodies from under the tree, that's totally OK.  I'll bake some pies- like, a whole bunch of yummy pies and that's probably the extent of it.  Pie Palooza and Presents.  Yep- that about sums it up.  Well...and alcohol too!

In addition to not hosting Christmas, we will NOT be going to any extended family functions.  This means we don't have the added stress of caravaning with 13 people (many of whom we don't care for) during some of the worst traffic this time of year.  Add in the added chaos of a meal with 25+ people.  Ugh.   I also will have the added benefit of not having to cook anything for said meal.  Plus- we are actually already scheduled to work during one of these functions and we simply can't afford to take any more time off work after a week long vacay.

We are buying less.  Each year the amount of gifts under the tree gets smaller and smaller because we know that Christmas is NOT about presents but presence.  Being with your family, with your beloveds- yeah, that's where its at.  So typically, where I would be buying several gifts for some folks, I will now only be purchasing one.  Many will not even get a gift.  Please- don't take it personally but the reality is that you don't need more stuff and I can't afford to really buy it for you anyway.  So we are saying NO to the societal pressures of gift giving.

Along with buying less- we are working on giving for free.  The husband has asked me to scale way back on our spending and so for those who we will still be gifting to, I am attempting to do much of it for free.  How?  Through my local "buy nothing" Facebook page of course!  So many of my neighbors are giving away toys, beauty items, household goods etc this holiday season and what a great way to recycle and regift!

The husband and I are giving each other a combined gift.  This means that he doesn't have the added stress of having to purchase gifts for me.  Which ladies- can I just say that I am the only person he buys gifts for!  How stressful can this really be for him?!?  I'm sure many of you wives also do all the gift buying for your in-laws and husband's side of the family in addition to your side of the family.  And the husband is stressed over buying for one person!  Ha! But the truth is that we have not only wanted but we actually have a need for a larger item and instead of limping along for another year, we've decided to use our money that we would normally spend on gifts for each other to simply buy this bigger ticket item.  Works for me!

We will not be attending any work or social holiday parties.  While we greatly enjoy our jobs, friends, family, co-workers etc, the very last thing we want to do is run around to one more event during an already busy season.  It's become just one more thing to cross off an already busy calendar and in truth, I'd much rather be at home sipping a cocktail while snuggling with my boys.

To summarize-

We are saying no to events that take away from our family time.  Family as in, just the three of us.

We are saying no to anything that brings undue stress.

We are saying no to commercialism and over spending.

We are changing the way we gift.

We are saying no to anything that doesn't promote the true reason for the season.

And you guys, I can't even begin to tell you how freakin' excited I am about all of this!  A chance to slow down and enjoy my boys and my favorite time of year.  SO GOOD!

We will still be participating in our volunteer events and making sure to give back to our community.  We will still make time for extended family if they choose to come to us as our home is always open to loved ones.  We will still have some presents under the tree and Santa will still make his way to our home, although his bag will be just a little lighter this year.  We will focus on our family traditions and we will make some beautiful new memories.  And perhaps next year we will opt back in but for now- we are simply saying no.

This year, we are slowing it down and taking the time to enjoy each other during this most blessed time.  Can I encourage you to do some of the same?

The 60 Minute Chocolate Cake

You may remember that recently the husband and kiddo challenged me to bake a chocolate cake 100% from scratch in just one hour.  I'm not joking when I tell you all that this cake, start to finish, will take you just one hour.  Cooking time is included!

SWEET!

Now, if you are a regular over on the Facebook page, you've probably seen this cake several times over.  It is my favorite chocolate cake not just because it takes 60 minutes to make but because it tastes SO damn good.  It's easy to dress up with raspberries and filling, works well as cupcakes or to throw together in under an hour in a bundt pan.  Now that is simply perfection!

Please know that the actual cake recipe is NOT my original recipe.  I found it somewhere on Pinterest and I've been making it for years.  Sadly, I have no clue where I found the original recipe from (I used to know but I've since forgotten the original website)....all I knew was that this one was a keeper and so I quickly wrote it down for future use in my recipe book.  On the other hand, the chocolate frosting/ganache is indeed all mine.  But it's such a basic recipe that it's probably been duplicated from somewhere.

Here goes!

Chocolate Cake

1 3/4 cups flour

2 cups sugar
3/4 cups unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup boiling water


Combine dry ingredients in a big bowl- no need to bring out your big stand mixer.  Add in wet ingredients.  Pour into pans and bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes.  Allow to cool before removing from pan.  If you are trying to do this in under 60 minutes you can pop the pan in your freezer to help it cool down.

The best thing about this cake recipe is how versatile it is!  You can make it in a bundt pan, as a regular double layer cake in cake pans, cupcakes etc.  Simply adjust the cooking time depending on what pans you're using.

Meanwhile, as your cake is cooking, prep your chocolate ganache frosting.  Ganache sounds fancy but the reality is that it is probably the easiest frosting recipe you'll ever make.  Seriously!

Chocolate Ganache Frosting

1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup heavy cream *you can also substitute milk if you're lame like me and don't always keep heavy cream in your fridge
1-2 tablespoons Disaronno liquor or similar *optional but totally kicks it up a notch!


Melt your chocolate chips on the stove and add in your heavy cream.  DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS and keep on stirring your pot on low.  When your chocolate chips have melted, remove from the burner and add in your liquor.  Yes, this is optional but trust me when I say that it really makes your ganache something special!

At this point, put the whole pot of chocolate ganache in the fridge to cool down.  The longer it sits there, the more it will thicken up.  I like to leave it in for about 10 minutes but you may prefer it more runny (like a true ganache is) or more solid to resemble a frosting.  And if you've found that you let it cool too long, simply put it back on your stove to heat and thin out a bit.  SUPER easy!

Now frost it baby and you're in business!

Enjoy!