Broccoli Garlic Pasta

This is my "go-to" dinner.  Every Mom has one and this one is mine.  I almost always have the ingredients on hand to make this dish, it's yummy, quick and easy and literally a one pot meal.  LOVE that!

Broccoli Garlic Pasta

1 head of garlic
1 stick butter
1 box pasta
1 package frozen broccoli, or fresh
pinch chili pepper flakes
salt & pepper
Parmesan cheese


Step 1- Boil your pasta.

At the same time, heat your butter on low, chop garlic, add chili pepper flakes and salt and pepper to taste.   Allow it to cook on very low in the butter.

Cook your garlic in butter on low.

Step 2- When your pasta is almost cooked, add in your broccoli.  Cook another 5 minutes or until your broccoli is done.

Step 3- Drain pasta and broccoli. Add back to the pot and pour the butter/garlic mixture over it.

Step 4- Combine your butter mixture, pasta and broccoli. Top with Parmesan cheese.

Super simple and SO good!

It's Judgement Day

The topic of judgement has been weighing heavily on my heart recently.  At times, I have been guilty of unfairly judging others.  I have passed judgement too quickly and perhaps unnecessarily.

With age comes wisdom right?  In the last couple years, I've learned to hold my tongue and done my best to give others the benefit of the doubt.  To be slow to pass judgement and quick to give second chances.

But I am not perfect.  I still judge people just as they judge me.  I admit it.  Standing in judgement of others is clearly wrong when it comes to race, sexual orientation, cultural background- yes, it is unequivocal wrong.  However, I firmly believe that there's a few circumstances where judgement is not only acceptable- it's needed.

Here's a few tragic examples of when judgment may have saved a life:

A Mother who throws her child off a bridge because he's autistic.

The Mom who drowns herself in a bottle, hops in the car and drives her family into a tree.

A teenager who shoots up his school because he was suffering typical teenage angst.

The Dad who kills his wife and then sets fire to his house, killing his young children.

Sure, we can make excuses for these people.  Perhaps the Mother of the autistic boy is suffering from her own mental illness or the Dad has recently lost his job and is drowning his sorrows in a bottle.  Of course we can do our best to understand, to empathize, to try to explain away these horrific occurrences.  But why should we?

Where is the person standing up, judging them and saying- "NO.  This is not OK."  Where is this brave person who is willing to demand better for our children?  They are hiding, masked under the "thou shalt not judge" credo and they are too afraid to speak their minds.

Yes, judgement can be very, very wrong.  It can be hurtful, it can have lasting consequences and it can effect our overall moral compass.

But judgement can also be very, very right.  It can stand in the face of harm, it can demand better, it can inspire us to want more as a society and as a community.

So I'm here- standing up and saying, that yes- I want better for our children.  If I allow you the excuses- I am saying that I find this violence acceptable.  That this child's life is not important enough for me to say the difficult things that need to be said.  So yes, I judge you and I find you to be lacking.  As a parent, it is NOT OK to let your own mental illness go untreated.  It is NOT OK to murder your babies because it's difficult parenting them.  It is NOT OK to ignore your teenagers high risk behavior because you can't deal.  It is NOT OK.

Enough is enough.

I realize this is harsh.  Trust me when I say, that I understand many of you won't like what I'm saying.   However, this isn't about passing judgement out of disrespect or hatred.  It's not about thinking you are better than anyone else.  It's about waking up and saying that some things are simply not acceptable.

I implore you to step outside the box for just a moment and think about situations just like those examples above.  Would you step up and say something if you knew that you might just save a child from a tragedy?  Would you put aside your own uneasy feelings if you knew that it would make a real difference?  Of course you would.  This is simply what I'm saying here.  Sometimes it's OK to be that voice.  The one that questions, the one that interferes and yes- the one that passes judgement.

Sweatpants Cause Divorce

Whoa.  Miss Eva Mendes certainly stepped in it now....well, that was my first thought upon hearing the title of this little article.  Then of course I thought- well isn't that just a bit silly.  Ms. Eva Mendes- you aren't even married and yet, here you are, giving advice on marriage.  Hmph.

But then I had a good, long think about it.  The surprising reality is that she's not wrong.  Listen- there's LOTS of things that cause divorce.  Finances probably being at the top of that list but sadly, infidelity isn't far behind.  Cheating, stepping out, looking the other way, emotional affairs, etc- these are now the norm in our society.  So can we just stop for a moment and think about what leads to these things?

Babies.  Lack of intimacy.  Loss of physical interest or chemistry.  Emotional distance.  Poor morals.  Constant fighting.  SO MANY THINGS you guys....

Perhaps Ms. Eva had a very good point.  Frumpy leads to dissatisfaction which leads to wandering eyes which leads to infidelity.  Or at least for some it can...it's not necessarily the sweatpants themselves that lead to divorce.  That's just silly.  But I will say that a lack of effort on either spouse's part can definitely contribute to marital strife.  When we stop putting forth our best for our spouse, we show them that we no longer care.  We show them that they are simply not worth the effort.

Here's what I mean by this-

My husband personally LOVES my long hair.  I'm over it.  It's a ton of work- it takes me approximately 30 minutes of blow drying, straightening and product to get it even close to the way he likes it.  For a busy Mama like me, that's a lot of time you guys.  As a result, I don't wear it this way very often.  However, I always try to wear it this way for my husband whenever we have a date night or a special day to ourselves.  And you guys- he notices.  Every.  Single.  Time.  My effort is appreciated.

This is a perfect example.  Simple and perhaps a bit silly- it's only hair after all, but I think you all get the point.  When we take the time to invest in our own beauty (inward and outward) we express to our spouse that they matter.  They are worth the time, they are worth the investment and that we want to look our best for them because they deserve the best.

Now tell me- what's so wrong about this?

My husband loves me no matter what I'm wearing.  Of course he does.  But I'm sure he would be the first to admit that his heart skips a little when I put forth the extra effort.  Just as mine does when he takes the additional time to look his best.  We are visual beings and how we look does matter.  I'm sorry but it does.

Let's recap-

Ms. Eva, you certainly shocked us with your strong statement.  However, there's a really excellent point here.  Marriage takes work.  All kinds of work.  And yes, looking good for your spouse should be on this list.

Here's what I personally know-

My marriage does better when the husband and I have physical intimacy.  My marriage does even better when we have lots of physical intimacy.  Looking good is part of that.  Putting forth the effort to make yourself attractive to your spouse leads to more physical intimacy.  Which leads to a happier marriage.  It's simple but effective.

The other aspect of this is about pride.  I want my husband to be proud of the woman that stands beside him.  If I'm looking like a hot mess- what image am I portraying?  If I continuously walk out of the house in sweatpants, no makeup and messy hair- I am putting forth the idea that I'm not only not proud of myself but that I'm not proud of my marriage.  Who I am reflects on who my husband is and at the end of the day, I want him to be proud of his wife.

So can I encourage everyone, husbands and wives, to start putting in a little extra effort?  The yoga pants and sweats are OK- every once in awhile.  But they shouldn't become your normal.  Men- can you put on some yummy smelling cologne and a collared shirt?  Wives- how about some nice jeans or a dress?  It's not that hard, it just takes time.  And if you won't take the advice from the non-married Ms. Eva Mendes, how about from me?  We've been married 11 years and together for 15 years.  We are more in love today then when we met.  Sure, we still have our issues but I wake up each day and vow to do my best.  Whether that's in how I care for my family, what I wear, through my heart and attitude, in lifting up my husband- I try my best.  Many days I fall short but that doesn't mean I will ever stop trying.  My husband is worth it.  Our marriage is worth it.

Is yours?

Vegan Food is Gross!

And that's what the husband has to say about that.

But seriously- one day I was sipping coffee on the bed and reading a Vegan cookbook.  The husband was lounging and looking at some of the pictures.  As I read aloud some of the recipe titles, he kept saying-

Gross.

Who eats that shit?

And my personal fav- That's some nasty business right there.

Over 200 pages and not a single recipe that I would make.  Not.  A.  Single.  One.  And that made me stop and think- is the husband right?  This stuff looks gross.  It's sounds gross.  It takes a shit ton of time to make, has ingredients that even Google has no clue what to do with and no one in my family would eat this.

No wonder more people aren't vegan.

So what's a normal Mom to do?  You want to reduce or eliminate the animal products because you know they are harmful to your health but who is going to eat Tofu Bacon?  Heck- where do you even buy Tofu Bacon?!?  Tempeh.  Soy.  Tofu Eggs Benedict?  Umm...no.  Just no.

The solution.  Oh.  My.  Gawd.  You guys the solution is so freakin' simple!

Make real food.  With real ingredients.  Leave out the meat.  Don't sprinkle it with cheese.  Use plant based substitutions.

I know, right?  It really IS that easy.

Now, sure- I've learned a few tricks.  My favorite is that you can cook and blend cauliflower and it will take on a "creamy" consistency.  Same thing with raw cashews, so when you're faced with a recipe that calls for cream- try one of these tricks instead.  I've also had a few epic fails.  Coconut Bacon anyone?  Yeah- I tried it.  No, it doesn't take a thing like bacon.

So what I've learned is ridiculously simple.  If you want to make vegan food that your husband and kids will actually eat- it needs to resemble the food they are used to eating.  Do not waste your time and money trying to turn coconut flakes into bacon- it's just not gonna work.  Take a recipe that you like and convert it to a version that is vegan.  For example, Split Pea Soup.  Most times, it starts with ham.  News flash- you don't need the ham.  You don't.  Saute your veggies, add in your spices and bag of dried peas and you're good to go.  No need to find some vegan alternative for ham, weird soy based meat (which is NOT good for you either!) or some rubbery product to make you think you're eating ham.  Just leave it out.

Dude.  It's that easy.

Chicken noodle soup?  Umm, leave out the chicken and use veggie broth instead.  BOOM- vegan.

Enchiladas?  Use beans, veggies and salsa for your filling instead of meat and cheese.  BOOM- vegan.

Sloppy Joes?  Try it with lentils instead of ground beef.  BOOM- vegan.

A few things that I want you to take away from this post-


#1- It is THIS easy.

#2- For the love of God, do not buy fake "meat" products.  These are SO bad for you!  I'm talking; Morningstar, Gardein, Quorn, Tofurky etc.  On a side note, you should also be checking the ingredients labels of anything you're buying.  Lots of hidden animal products and other nasty ingredients hiding in foods you would normally consider vegan or vegetarian.

#3- You can substitute and leave ingredients out.  Meat is not always necessary.  Replace animal products with plant based ingredients and NOT with fake food.

#4- It needs to resemble the food your family is used to eating, otherwise they will never go for it.

#5- Some things you simply CAN'T make vegan.  A vegan grilled cheese is NOT the same as a real grilled cheese.  I'm sorry- but it just isn't.  So either resign yourself to this fact, give it up entirely or just use real cheese.  It is what it is.

#6- It's OK to experiment.  Did you know that carrots taste amazing in chili? And further more, you can swap out the ground meat for lentils?  Oh yes....yes you can.

#7- Fill up on real food.  Being a vegan (or even a vegetarian for that matter) is not just about avoiding animal products.  It's about eating a healthy, well rounded diet.  If you're doing it right, you won't be missing out on any much needed nutrients.  Iron and protein anyone?

#8- You will feel SO good.  The real benefit to eating a vegan diet is that your body literally heals itself from the inside out.  I feel so good and I'm not even 100% vegan or even 100% vegetarian.  By simply eating more fruits, veggies and grains and less meat and animal products- your body will heal itself.  You'll feel better and younger and healthier than you've probably felt in the last 10 years.  Trust me on this last one.


Well- I've hoped you've learned a few things today.  Most importantly that Coconut "Bacon" doesn't taste a darn thing like the real bacon.  I knew it was too good to be true!  And of course that vegan food doesn't have to be gross.  But seriously you guys- if my family can do this, anyone can.

You got this.


Related Blog Posts:

• So You Want to Eat Less Meat?
• We Are Flexitarians!
• So What Do You Eat?

Click here to find healthy, family approved recipes!  Many are vegan and vegetarian!

It's OK to Feel the Feels

Yesterday was a rough day for me.

For the last week or so, we have watched our beloved Lucky Dog's health begin to decline.  He's our boy and for anyone who has furry babies, I know you get this.  It's hard.

As a result, death has been weighing on my mind pretty heavily this past week.  His death, my own death, the life altering accident of my child- it's been a burden that I simply can't see around.  And then yesterday morning on the way to work, about 2 miles from my house, I witnessed the after math of a fatal car accident.  The victim was an 18 year old high school boy.  Someone's CHILD died yesterday and it was staring me in the face.

Then  I spoke with someone who had just learned she had cancer.  As in, YESTERDAY, just learned.  And her feelings were so raw and new.  I didn't know her beyond this moment but I knew her.  I knew her pain, her heartache, her worry- we all know her because she could be us.

So yes, yesterday was pretty difficult.

Work was long, speaking with people was difficult, smiling was excruciating, laughing was impossible.  Then finally, my work day was done.  I had a million errands to run on the way home, but I decided that I would much rather go home and simply crawl into bed.

Then I got home.

And the husband came out to the car to hug me.  The kiddo had been "waiting forever Mom" to show me his Lego creation and the dogs were literally jumping with joy at my arrival.

A homecoming fit for a queen.


In that moment, I reminded myself that while there is sadness is this world, SO MUCH SADNESS- there is also happiness and joy.  It's OK to feel the sadness, feel the feels you guys.  But don't forget the homecoming.  The sadness is still there.  It likes to linger sometimes.  But here's the thing- there is also the happy.

Yesterday, I made a decision NOT to crawl back into bed.

I put the leashes on the dogs and we went for a walk.  As a family.  We listened to the birds in the trees and laughed when Buddy Boy kept biting his leash because we weren't going fast enough.  We reminisced on times when Lucky Dog was younger and he used to be the "Trail Boss" and we walked and we loved, together.

Today the happy won.

Laying in the sun after our walk.  Today was a
good day.

My message to all of you-

As we walk through this life, the feelings will at times become overwhelming.  The sadness will be SO deep that you might feel as if you simply can't cross it.  But the happy will be SO joyous that your body hums with the vibrations of it's love.  It's OK to feel these feelings.  This is simply a part of life.

However, if you ever (like SO many people do) find yourself having trouble experiencing your happy, please speak with someone about this.  Please.  Sometimes the sadness lingers more than it should.  It's OK to reach out, to ask for help in finding yourself again.  Don't be afraid to go there because everyone deserves a slice of happy.

Related Blog Posts:

• We All Hold a Piece of Wonderful
• The Day I Talked to My 8 Year Old About Suicide

Kill Them With Kindness

In the last few years, as the kiddo has gotten older, we've made a concerted effort to distance ourselves from negative people.  Unfortunately, sometimes this simply isn't always an option.  So we do the best we can to limit our interactions with certain rude and disrespectful people.

Recently, the kiddo was around one of these people and experienced this nasty behavior firsthand.  He came to us and said, "they were so mean to me and I don't know why."

When we asked what exactly had happened, the kiddo said that this person didn't acknowledge his presence and then grunted at him and walked away.  Oh my goodness- can you even imagine an adult behaving this way towards a child?!?

Gah.

Me either.

So the husband and I took this opportunity to educate the kiddo.


Me- When people behave that way it says more about them than it ever could say about it.  It tells you exactly what kind of person they are.

Kiddo- Yeah, a bad one.

Me- Sometimes people's actions and behaviors speak louder then their words.  It's important for you to listen to what their behavior is telling you.

Husband- And do you know how you should have responded to this person?

Kiddo- What can I do, I'm just a kid and they are a grown up.

Husband- Kill them with kindness.

Kiddo- Huh?  Why would I do that?

Me- Because you are a good person and you do not behave in that nasty way.  The next time you see this person, I want you to make a point of asking them nicely how they are.  Be kind to them and remember to use your manners.

Kiddo- But they will just be mean to me again.

Me- Perhaps.  But this time it will require more effort on their part to continue acting in rudeness.  And it will show them that you are not going to resort to the same type of behavior.

Husband- And let's face it, no grown adult should ever treat a child that way.  We don't treat their kids that way and I expect the same in return.  That behavior is simply unacceptable from them and you do not have to put up with that.


So yeah.

Unfortunately, I am not surprised by this particular person and their rudeness towards my child.  They have behaved in this manner the entire time that I've known them and this is simply one of the reasons that we have put distance between our families.  It is very sad.

However, I will say that I am very disappointed that a grown up would act in this manner towards a child.  Especially a child who has done nothing towards them.  But as I explained to the kiddo, this type of behavior says more about that person than it ever will about you.  How you react is what determines the kind of person you are.

When someone is rude and disrespectful towards you- give them kindness in return.  Even if you have to fake it, put a smile on your face and carry on with your awesome self.

This is the lesson we want our child to walk away with.  Not that some grown up's can be true a$%^&* but that he can chose how he reacts to that poor behavior and this is what will determine his true character.

Vegan Cauliflower Soup

Love this dish!  The ingredients are simple and it's packed FULL of veggies.  Plus both the husband and kiddo happily eat this- now that's perfection in my book!

Plus it's vegan....shhhhh....don't tell....

SO good!

Vegan Cauliflower Soup

2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1 large carrot, diced
1 garlic clove, diced
2 small/medium potatoes, diced
1 small head cauliflower, chopped
1 cup veggie broth
4 cups water
2 teaspoons salt
2 Tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
1 cup raw cashews with 1 cup water
1 1/2 cup peas

Step 1:

Saute all the veggies except the peas in olive oil.  Don't worry about a perfect chop, you'll be blending this all later.

*Tip- you may want to reserve about 1/2 cup of your diced potatoes to add in AFTER you've blended your soup.  The husband likes a few chunks of potatoes in his bowl.

Add in salt and parsley.

Step 2:

Pour in veggie broth and 4 cups of water.  Bring to a low boil.

Step 3:

Blend cashews with 1 cup of water in a food processor.  Add to your pot and continue to cook on low boil for at least 30 minutes.  The longer the better with this dish!

Step 4:

Get out your trusty immersion blender and blend baby blend!

If you reserved a few potatoes, now is the time to add them in along with your frozen peas.  Cook another 10 minutes or until potatoes are done.


Serve with a rustic bread or better yet, the kiddo's favorite- in a bread bowl!  Yum!