A Hair Raising Issue

About a year ago the kiddo started asking for a buzz cut.  Well- that's not entirely true.  First he wanted a Mohawk but then decided he would settle on a buzz cut.  Since I cut hair for the husband and the kiddo, they pretty much get what I give them and that's just the way it goes mmkay....

Hair stylist- I am NOT.

However, the kiddo was intent on this buzz cut.  Every few months he would ask me and my reply would always be the same, "ask Daddy."  Each and every time the husband said no.  He thought it would make the kiddo look like a delinquent...he preferred the kiddo with his normal hair style...the reasons why didn't even make sense to me, let alone the kiddo.  But he said no and so we respected this decision.

My child is determined.

And so it happened that just last night, he finally got his buzz cut.  He fussed over his new hair, or lack thereof.  He remarked how differently his hat fit on his head.  And then he said, "Mom, I kinda look like a girl."  To which I reply- "you're adorable!  Now we can just see more of your beautiful face."

While sweet- that's not what I will take away from this moment.

After the kiddo had FINALLY gone to bed, the husband and I were sitting and talking.  I was curious as to the real reason that he had finally allowed the kiddo a buzz cut.  He said that part of it was that he was tired of being bothered about it and the other part was that sometimes we have to learn through doing.  Meaning- sometimes we need to finally attain what we think we want so that we can learn if it's something we truly desired.

Wow.  Who knew the husband was so deep, right?

I then remarked that I was glad he had finally allowed it because it's just hair after all.  The husband said, "I know it's just hair but people will judge you for your appearance no matter what."  So true husband, so true.

At the end of this convo, here's what I walked away with.  It's big, so I hope you'll listen and think on it.

In all the battles I will wage with the kiddo- hair is not one of them.  I have more important struggles and lessons to fight with him about and I  want to make sure that those I choose to engage in are worth it.

Simply put- if I'm going to argue about the kiddo's haircut or about him not smoking cigarettes- the battle on no smoking wins every single time.

It's OK as parents to PICK AND CHOOSE your battles.  Let's not be noble here and think we won't ever have any "battles" with our children.  Of course we will!  Our job as parents is to guide them and teach them and it doesn't always go as smoothly as we hope.  I for one do not wish to spend his entire adolescence arguing.  I want to enjoy him.  I want to laugh over the feel of his new haircut and smile at his adorable face- it's just hair after all, it'll grow back.

I'll save the battling for the bigger issues.

20 Things I Want my Son to Learn

1. Master a few dishes and you'll look like a rock star in the kitchen.  Ladies will be super impressed.
2. Exercise patience with everyone in every thing you do.  A wise man is a patient man.
3. Be kind.  You never know what someone is going through.  Choose kindness over being right every time.
4. Listen.  Simply shut your mouth and really listen to others.
5. Team sports are great learning tools.  Don't be afraid to fail.  Take pride in winning.
6. Be strong in your manhood and proud to be who you are.  A strong man has value even if society is telling you they don't.  It's ok to be a strong leader.
7. Learn to use the dishwasher, washing machine, iron and vacuum.
8. Take pride in your appearance.  No one wants to hug a smelly man.
9. Private parts are just that- private.  No sexting or inappropriate clothing.  Keep those parts private!
10. Manners will get you everywhere.  Hold the door for ladies, allow people to go ahead of you, say "please" and "thank you".
11. Aim when you pee.  Someone has to clean that up you know.
12. Don't be afraid to be different and just a little weird.  We are all weird & that's what makes us unique.  Embrace it.
13. Women love flowers- especially if there's no reason behind them.
14. Laugh.  Often.  See the humor and happiness in life.
15. Marry your best friend.  Looks fade, people get fat but if you marry someone who you love to be around- you'll never have any problems.  Marriage is a forever deal.
16. When in doubt- ask.
17. Remember where you came from and don't loose sight of where you're going.  A strong foundation will serve you well.
18. Decide to learn from life instead of fight it.  There are lessons everywhere.
19. The only hero you need is your Dad.
20. Call your Mom- often.  She loves you more then you will ever know.