The Christmas Perfume Debacle

Well now that Christmas has officially come and gone, I wanted to share with you a super funny Christmas gift story between myself and the husband.

Let me preface this story by saying that-

#1- The husband is seriously STRUGGLING at giving gifts.  He used to be so damn good at picking out the perfect gift, listening to the subtle hints and had no problems going out and finding something I would use, love, enjoy etc.

However- once the kiddo was born, we entered as I refer to them as "THE DARK AGES".  He flat out gave up.  Now, I'm not sure if this had something to do with our son being born and the stress and struggle of being new parents or if he had run out of ideas or simply didn't give a shit any longer.  But whatever the reason- it was a dark, dark time....

Thankfully, the kiddo now helps him and we are slowly getting back on track.  But I still have to leave the most obvious of clues.

#2- This story is about perfume.  I used to wear perfume all the time while the husband and I were dating and then in our early, pre-baby years.  But just as the husband gave up on the gift giving, new Mommy-hood found me frumpy and smelling like soap and shampoo and not a damn thing more than that.

Alright- so let's begin mmkay...

A few months prior to Christmas I smelled this AH-MAZING scent on some of the church ladies at my work.  These are young, trendy, PUT TOGETHER WOMEN and I have NOT a thing in common with them except for our love of Jesus and the blackest of black mascara.  But I slowly started to notice that these uber fabulous women smelled so good and it would appear that they all wore one scent.  How strange that such a large group of diverse women could all pull off this scent, but WEAR IT WELL they did!

Naturally, I asked what it was and soon found out the yummy, floral spiciness that was FLOWERBOMB by Viktor & Rolf.

Over the course of the next month, I was OBSESSED with this scent and weirdly enough, I couldn't stop thinking about how great it smelled.  Probably because I was knee deep in the Eucalyptus and Lemon essential oils as I tried to combat cold and flu season and I was simply not feeling it.

A quick search on The Google found that this perfume retails for $85 for the smallest bottle.  Now ladies- I simply do NOT spend this amount of money on silly things like this and so I asked the husband to buy me a bottle for Christmas.

Legit- I sent this man a link to Macy's and told him "buy this for me for Christmas yeah?".

Shortly after Thanksgiving, we found ourselves at the mall and I suggested a quick stop into Macy's for a "sniff test" so the husband could smell for himself the scent that had taken over my mind for the last couple of months.  We dodged the super aggressive, heavily perfumed sales ladies and found the counter with the FLOWERBOMB.  A quick spritz on the little cardboard card and we were thoroughly GROSSED OUT and I was completely disappointed.  This smell (whatever this HORRID fragrance was sprayed onto this card) smelled not a thing like the classy church ladies did.

As we ran out of Macy's in horror, I vowed that I simply wasn't a perfume girl after all.

Fast forward another couple of weeks and I was babysitting for a sweet little girl.  Turns out that her Mama wears FLOWERBOMB and had given her an almost empty bottle of her very own to play dress up with.  As we were playing with her dolls, this sweet girl decided she wanted to spray this horrid smell ALL OVER her dolls and promptly got quite a bit on me.

Turns out- it wasn't so bad.  After the sheer strength of the smell wore down a bit, I found that I actually liked it.  When I went home later that night, the husband asked me what smelled so good and so it would seem, he liked it as well.  I'm guessing perfume just smells different on the body?!?

I once again asked the husband for a bottle for Christmas.  But I decided to start small with a travel size which was on sale at Sephora- you know, in case I decided the smell didn't agree with me after all.  I texted the husband the link and asked him to get me the travel size for Christmas that way we weren't out almost $100.  He agreed that this was a good idea.

Well....Christmas morning came and went and no perfume under the tree.  I was actually very surprised by this as I was 100% expecting to see a little travel bottle of this stuff shoved in a gift bag or placed in my stocking.

You guys- I don't usually obsess about something for months and go to all this trouble if I don't want it.  So I was actually quite surprised and disappointed that I didn't get it.  But the husband did alright with a few other gifts and he enjoyed the gifts I gave to him so I really didn't think to much on it.  We had a great Christmas morning regardless.  Later that day, he asked me if I really had wanted that perfume.

Remember when I told you the husband wasn't great at picking up the obvious hints?  Yeah that.

As a result, he told me to just go ahead and order it.  So the next day- I did just that.  When I told him an hour or so later that I had just ordered the small travel size like we talked about, he just started laughing.  Turns out that not 10 minutes prior, he had also ordered it for me.

I cannot.  Months I talk about this perfume, the links I send, the conversations we've had about something as ridiculous as perfume and the second HE TELLS ME TO BUY A BOTTLE, he goes out and does the same thing?!?  Say what?  This is simply too damn funny.

This time next week, I will be the proud owner of TWO BOTTLES OF THE SAME PERFUME because we couldn't get our act together after months of struggle.

So that's my Christmas story about the PERFUME DEBACLE.  It has a happy ending for sure but it's still a bit ridiculous.  During the dark ages, I gave up and just bought my own gifts.  While I easily could have done so this time, I truly feel that every couple should give sweet tokens of love and care to their spouse.  Simply put- it cannot be all one sided.  We all want and deserve to feel like we are worth the time and effort it takes to pick out a thoughtful gift.  And y'all- the gifts do not need to be big and grand.  Most times, the very best gifts are the ones that cost nothing and come straight from the heart.

Merry Christmas!

The Hired Help

Occasionally we as homeschoolers "hire out some help" in the form of advanced classes (like math or science), art classes, sports, foreign language and so forth.  Either things we don't want to teach, can't teach or have no desire to teach.  Lots of reason why but it really doesn't matter- sometimes we have to seek out others to help us fill in some gaps in our homeschool.

Totally normal.

This is where the kiddo's homeschool program, Edmonds Heights K-12, comes into play.  I rely on them to teach things like Spanish por que habla un poquito y es no muy bueno (well hopefully I said that correctly but probably not), higher level math, ceramics and pottery because we don't have a kiln and science class because I freakin' hate science.

Unfortunately as William has gotten older, I have been less and less impressed with the QUALITY of teaching here and equally disappointed with the Principal.  Case in point- the kiddo's Life Science class this year.

Ugh.

Here we go....

So the teacher is new.  Meh- ok.  I love teachers.  Y'all know I'm constantly praising them and the hard work they do.  I have been nothing but graceful and understanding of this teacher's adjustment to the classroom.

But LEGIT- not everyone is cut out to teach.

This man has NO business inside a classroom.  None at all and sadly, our kids are suffering as a result.

I have reached out numerous times to both this new teacher and the Principal to express my concerns and frustrations.  It all began when the teacher allowed William to be bullied during class time.  Yeah no- FUCK THAT SHIT.  When it became clear that the teacher was not up to the task of keeping this from occurring, I removed the kiddo from that particular class time and asked that he put in a later class time.

Great.

Things were going well until suddenly the teacher REJECTED his monthly progress.  When I asked how this could happen, I was told William had missed 3 out of 10 classes.  Dude- no.  It is not my fault you cannot accurately take attendance, William has missed exactly ZERO classes.  And then he lost all the kiddo's homework.  And then he decided he didn't need to actually grade the fucking homework.  Then the tests- of which he's declared ALL THE KIDS ARE FAILING and yet, he won't allow the students to take home the tests so that their parents can help them.  Combine this with the heavy reliance on YouTube videos, the lack of actual hands on projects and packets of work that do not line up to the actual textbook (OF WHICH HE DOESN'T USE IN CLASS) and I'm just all.....

LORD JESUS- I NEED YOU NOW.

Throughout these trying four months, I have kept in contact with both teacher and Principal.  You guys- the Principal's response was to tell me that it was OK that homework wasn't graded, that homework would be hard, that I was misunderstanding and that I needed to read the syllabus.  He then responded with "I'm not sure what action you want me to take."

Because clearly- my delicate, simple female brain just couldn't compute mmkay...

There has been NO acknowledgement that this teacher is floundering.  Like- LEGIT, Dory could find her way easier than this man. And that's IF the Principal decides to even address my email and respond.  Oh yes- let's just ignore this Mom and hope it will all go away.  How is this acceptable?!?

It is not.

And I've stated as such.  But it seems to fall on deaf ears.  So here's the thing I do believe this poor teacher and Principal have yet to grasp.

I am not your normal Mom.  I do not accept an answer simply because you say so.  I do not tolerate bullshit and excuses and I WILL be heard and respected.  And when that doesn't work- I send in THE MUSCLE aka THE HUSBAND.

The educating of our child is our MOST IMPORTANT JOB and when the hired help is not pulling his weight- he needs to go.  I would no more allow the gardener to piss all over my flowers and call it "watering" than I will an incompetent adult calling himself a "teacher" who has no real business in the classroom.

As of right now- we are at an impasse.  I'm cooling down over our Christmas break but not too worry- I'll be on top of this situation and will update y'all accordingly.

No one puts Baby in a corner.  No one.

A Christmas Tradition

What started out as Baby's 1st Visit to see Santa, soon became one of my most treasured Christmas traditions.  The first year we took William to see THE BIG GUY, we just wanted a sweet baby and Santa pic.  Year two- and we thought, "huh- it's the same Santa" and by year five we prayed and prayed that Santa would make it until my child stopped believing.  Dear Lord Santa- don't retire until then!  Because our Santa had quickly become THE REAL SANTA and it simply wasn't Christmas without a visit to our special guy.

I wrote a blog post a few years ago about the HORROR we experienced one year when we thought THE REAL SANTA was gone.  It was a dark time, but praise Jesus my Facebook friends set me straight and simply let me know that I arrived too early.  Needless to say, we took two trips to the mall that Christmas.

And so- we are officially on YEAR #12 with our favorite Santa, the only Santa if you ask anyone in my house.  Starting at just 10 months old and ending with this year's photo of my sweet MAN CHILD at 11 1/2 years.

Please join me in saying a prayer of THANKSGIVING that we've been blessed to have twelve wonderful photo's and keep your fingers crossed that THE REAL SANTA will be back again next year.  It's not Christmas without our Santa and this Mama will be in MOURNING when he finally moves back to the North Pole with Mrs. Claus and lives the high life drinking hot chocolate and eating his candy canes.

Here it is- our Christmas tradition.

And finally, this year's photo. There are simply no words for how special these images are to my TENDER Mama's heart.  Each year, as I cut out the new one and place it in the picture ornament and hang it on our Christmas tree, I have myself a big ole' ugly Mama cry.  Where once I held my baby in my arms, he will soon tower above me.  And Santa....our sweet, old Santa will one day be gone and on that day, my boy will officially be a man.

Thank you Santa- for all the wonderful years.  You have become such an important part of our Christmas and the lifelong memories that you've given to this family are simply priceless.  Please do this sappy Mama a favor and give me at least a few more years.

Pretty please Santa.

And don't forget to pop on over to my Facebook page so you don't miss out on a single thing!  It's good stuff y'all!

Vegans for Christmas

Anyone remember way back in May/June-ish when I shared with y'all about the kiddo's food allergy diagnosis?

Well....I've had a few of you reach out to me with questions & wanting updates. So here it is- the kiddo tested positive to dairy allergies as well as chicken eggs. So that meant no milk, yogurt, ice cream, cheese, eggs and basically all the good stuff.

We immediately removed all those foods from his diet. And since we don't eat much meat- that meant the kiddo was pretty much a vegan all summer long.

BTW- he lost about 10 pounds too.

Around the end of summer, we worked on trying to target which particular foods were causing more upset/issues than others. Basically, the hope was that occasionally he could have mac n cheese or a cake made with eggs without it causing him to be ill.

By September, we had THOUGHT that we had it pretty well figured out.

And then it all went downhill as the kiddo decided he was tired of eating this restrictive diet. He thought he would be just fine with the occasional bowl of real ice cream or the milk in his cheeseburger bun when eating out.

And yes- commercially prepared foods like hamburger buns have MILK in them. Grrr.....really?!?

We loosened the reins as his body seemed to be doing ok with the re-introduction of his favorite foods. Unfortunately around that time he also decided he no longer wanted to eat his fruits and veggies and the healthy lentils & quinoa that kept his body running so smoothly. Hey- he is a tweenager after all & it's just "not cool" to eat healthy when his friends are gobbling up the Cheetos & bologna like there's no tomorrow.

Havoc ensued.

And here we are- one week before Christmas and the kiddo has re-committed himself to eating a vegan diet.

ONE. WEEK. BEFORE. CHRISTMAS.

And there you have it. The story about how we went vegan for Christmas.

But y'all- I'm still gonna eat me some cheeseburgers mmkay....

Chrissie's Favorite Things

Gift giving for Moms is HARD.  Some of us are more trying than others and so I wanted to share with you some of my very favorite things that I would personally LOVE to be gifted.  Hopefully this will give you an idea on where to start for the fabulous Mom or woman in your life.

But first- a few rules.

Stay away from the triple G.  The Generic Girl Gift.  Gah, I absolutely hate getting these because it's so impersonal and I truly, truly detest giving a Triple G to a fellow woman because it literally means I have no other ideas on a suitable gift.  To be clear, a Triple G can be anything that is related to being a girl.  Candles, bath soaps, Christmasy lotions, bubble bath- basically anything found at Bath & Body Works is a Triple G.  So unless you KNOW for a fact that this special Mom in your life has a preferred scent in the Triple G department, I would just steer clear.

Sentimental gifts are ALWAYS appropriate.  Things like a framed photo, a token of your shared childhood, a vintage toy or favorite book.  In all the ways- this will be a hit.

Personalization is nice.  The simple act of having something monogrammed or engraved takes your gift to a whole new level.  It can be something fun like having personalized stickers made for their car or a monogrammed scarf in Mom's favorite color.  Personalization shows that you took THE TIME to really think about what to give your special lady.

Keep in mind the concepts of PRACTICAL vs FRIVOLOUS.  When gifting multiple items, it's always nice to give something you know is needed- like perhaps some new slippers along with something you know is desired- say a set of small diamond cubic zarconia earrings.  This way you know that at least one of your gifts will hit the mark and be a success.

Ok- so there's a few ground rules when it comes to gifting to Mom.  How about we get down to the business of listing my favorite things yeah?

In no order but how they came out of my head-

#1- Essential Oils.

Sweet Jesus yes!  I am ALL ABOUT my EO's right now!  But the truth is that to replace them or even get started, it can be a bit pricey.  So now is the perfect time to get Mom all set up with a starter kit or help her out by replacing the empties.

My favorite brand is Eden's Garden because they are good quality and the price is well within my budget.  If you order directly from their website, shipping is always free.  Nice!

#2- EO Diffuser.

What are essential oils without a diffuser?  Here's a link to the ones I currently have all over my house.  One downstairs, one in the master bedroom and one in the kiddo's bedroom.  Spring for the 2 pack so Mom has options mmkay.

#3- Cozy Sweater Vest.

I posted about my love affair with this sweater from Target awhile back on the Facebook page.  I am still head over heels for it!  Y'all- it works for pretty much all body types and with all outfits.  It's thick and warm, holds the shape well, requires NO dry cleaning, is affordable and looks great with skinny jeans for a casual day of errands or dressed up over a black t-shirt dress and heels.  You will NOT regret buying Mom this sweater, I promise you!

Currently 40% off at Target.com!

#4- Converse shoes.

I wear my Converse with just about everything.  They are my go-to shoe and last forever!  I currently have them in white, grey and pink and I'm hoping (HINT HINT) that Santa will bring me a pair in black this Christmas!

They run true to size and may I suggest buying Mom a pair in basic white if she's not yet a Converse lover.


#5- Donut pans.

If your Mom is a baker, she NEEDS these pans.  Buy her at least two of them and if you're really on top of your game, you can buy a cookbook to go along with them. At only $16- this is a great gift for any woman who loves spending time in the kitchen. I find myself experimenting with homemade donuts at least once a month and I'm honestly super surprised by how often I use these.

Nothing better than fresh, homemade donuts!

#6- Ipad.

Yes, it's true- I'm hopelessly addicted to my Ipad.  I use it for all the normal Mom things like Facebook, emails and Candy Crush but I also love my Kindle app on the Ipad.  It's basically like having my very own Kindle without having to carry around two separate tablets.  I'm a minimalist and really enjoy the simplicity of having everything all in one.  And do your Mom a favor and buy the MINI, not the full size because the big one just won't fit in Mom's purse mmkay....

#7- Wife Gear.

I bought these for my own self because they are freakin' adorable!  I'm proud of my Mom & Wife status and no joke, whenever I wear my Wife Gear, I get TONS of compliments!

I have this "Wifey" sweatshirt from this sweet Etsy shop- order a size down from Mom's normal size as these are in men's sizes.  There's also lots of different colors to choose from!

And of course, who could forget my "Thug Wife" t-shirt?  It's a classic y'all!  I purchased it from this seller here, although it would appear they do not currently offer this exact t-shirt.  However, a quick Etsy search will turn up lots!  And if Mom isn't into advertising her "Wife" status- there's plenty of other fun and unique t-shirts that she might like.  Etsy is a GOLD MINE!

#8- Clay face mask.

This stuff is AH-MAZING.  So much so that I'm thinking of gifting this almost Triple G item to all the Moms I know!  You mix the clay with some water and make a mask for your face.  Once you wash it off- your face is as smooth as your sweet baby's butt and it clears up all those yucky dirty pors!  LOVE IT and perfect for a stocking stuffer for Mom!  Click here to order!

#9- Silver bangles.

I wear three very different silver bracelets every single day.  Besides my wedding rings, these are the only pieces of jewelry that I am never without and each one holds a special place in my heart.  My very first one was a gift from the husband on our very first Christmas together.  I've been wearing it for almost 17 years now.  Another was a gift from my parents after a trip to Hawaii and the last one was a flea market find with the kiddo that he purchased for me at the expensive price of ONE WHOLE DOLLAR.

Every single day I look at these bangles and they bring me happiness.  So clearly- while you can't gift Mom these exact items, you can do something similar that you think she'll wear daily and help to bring a smile to her face.

#10 - The curling rod.

Technically, it's called a tapered styling iron.
Whatevs- it's fabulous!

Probably my most favorite find of 2016 is this curling rod from Ulta.  Finally- someone figured out how to actually get your hair to curl and not leave behind that awful crinkle from a regular curling iron! Praise Jesus it's a beauty miracle!

This curling rod is so amazing.  Not only is it priced within most budgets at just $30, but I can curl all my hair in just 10 minutes!  And the curl actually lasts!  Like- ALL DAY and then into the next day.  Coming from someone who has tried everything to get my hair to hold a curl- this is pretty spectacular.  For reals!

Adios curlers!  This Mom is stepping into the future!

#11- Covered glass cake stand.

When I bought this $10 item well over 15 years ago, I never imagined just how much I would truly use it.  But use it I do!  It sits out on my kitchen counter or my china buffet and I put desserts that I bake weekly for my family in this cake stand.  It's also great for decorating and adding to a table scape and you can flip it upside down and fill it with punch or vodka- whatevs.

It's plain and simple and I love that because it will go with pretty much anything.  This one found here, is pretty similar to mine and while it's no longer just $10, the price still won't break the bank!

#12- Moroccan Oil.

This is stuff for hair in case you've got no idea.  I started with the regular oil and have since graduated to using lots of their products.  My current favorites are the extra strong hairspray, dry texture spray and dry shampoo- because let's face it, us Moms don't always have time for a real shower.

I typically purchase from Nordstrom's or Beauty Brands.com- whichever has the best sales/deals but you may also be able to find it in some local hair salons.

PS- the husband has since started using the oil in his beard and he's now a convert!  It's good stuff!

#13- OPI nail color.

Mod About You

If you've followed me over on the Facebook page, you might have noticed that I pretty much always have a manicure.  Y'all- it is NOT because I drag my butt down to the nail salon each week because no body has that kind of money honey!  I like to take some time for myself each week or so and paint my nails.  Something about having my nails RIGHT just makes me feel put together and on top of my game- even when I'm not.

I have tried several different brands but the one I only ever buy from now on is OPI.  Do your Mom a favor and get her the base coat and top coat to go along with her favorite color.  Mine is "Mod About You" and I wear it all the time!

#14- Torrid Stiletto Skinny Jean.

It has taken me YEARS to find the right fit of skinny jeans.  I'll just throw out this little bit of TMI and tell you that I've got skinny legs and thighs but carry all my weight around my mid section.  This means it's extremely hard to find the right cut and fit in a skinny jean.  Not too mention that I can't stand stiff jeans- this plus sized gal likes her spandex mmkay!

The best fit ever!

These ones right here are by far the very best.  I have a few in the dark wash but the ones I wear most often are the lighter wash with the ankle zipper.  Just a little fun detail that makes me feel put together.

#15- The naughty coffee mug.

So yes, I like to use bad words.  A lot.  During a recent partnership with Thug Kitchen, in which they generously sent some SWAG my way for my fans- I fell in love with this bad ass coffee mug and just knew I had to get one of my very own.  So I did.

I use it at least once a week when I'm feeling particularly SCRAPPY and in the need for some serious motivation.  But if swear words aren't Moms thing- you might have also noticed my love affair with Winnie The Pooh coffee mugs.  It's my thang yo.

So there you have it!  My most favorite things from 2015-2016.  Hopefully you've come away with some great ideas on what to gift that special lady in your life.  Please keep in mind that these are MY favorite things and what works for one doesn't work for us all...and when in doubt, go for a gift that will touch her heart.

We women don't NEED expensive gifts (sure they are nice) but rather the very best gifts are those that show you put forth thought and effort.  If you take the time to think of something special, you will NEVER give her a bad gift.  I promise you.

Happy Giving Friends!