How To Tell People You're "Traditional"

Recently the blog has seen quite an increase in visits to all things "traditional".  I've also had quite a few wives or wives to be reach out to me with questions and pleas for help.  While I'm not entirely sure what to attribute this recent interest in being a traditional wife or part of a more traditional household to- I am so happy that you are reaching out!

Being a traditional wife can at times feel TENDER and I for one, have a desire to protect it.  I don't share with my family or friends about our lifestyle and marriage choices because I don't want to open up our relationship for speculation and harsh judgments.  Truth be told- we've already experienced enough of that, I certainly don't need to add any more to it!  We aren't hiding, we just aren't sharing ALL the things ALL the time.

Living this way is no longer the norm and when people find out that your husband is the head of your household, they look at you as if you've grown a second head.  Yes, the open mouthed stares are INTENSE and I for one, don't need it.  So I reserve my sharing for this safe space and do my very best to encourage you all from this small little platform that I can speak to like minded people.

When you do decide to let people know and how do you go about it?

This is a question that I've answered quite a bit in the last couple of months.  My advice is to just keep it simple.  Do not tell everything all at once.  If you know that your marriage will be Biblical, will follow more traditional roles, that you will homeschool, that you won't work outside the home, that your husband will be the head of the household- well, HOLY BUCKETS but that's a lot of new, and sometimes scary, information for your people to process all at once.

So just don't.

Tell them what they need to hear with as little detail as possible.  And honestly- if you can avoid speaking on it at all, then go with that.  Ease your people in.  Show them what this lifestyle is before they even know what is happening.  When we bombard people with what is viewed as unfavorable information, you simply never know how they will react.  Keep it simple, be honest but limit the information you share.

Why am I advising this?

In all honestly, there's lots of folks out there who embrace the different.  This is our new society and while I for one think it's great that people can be free to be themselves- if you are expressing something more traditional, the ridicule is STRONG.  Need I remind anyone of the letter to wives Facebook fiasco?  My own family members were sharing this post on their Facebook wall and saying the most horrible things about any woman who dare to live this way.  Family members that are living a very non-traditional lifestyle and DEMANDING to be accepted had NO tolerance, grace or understanding for how someone else chooses to live.

This makes my heart sad.  Why should we have to be constantly defending our choices?  If we are expected to respect their choices, they should damn well respect ours.  But y'all- this has NOT been my experience.  So instead, we have chosen to simply share as little as we can, be open and honest when needed and life our best life.  Let people witness for themselves and then make their judgments and speak their opinions if they feel the need.

We are very private, especially when it comes to our marriage and family.  I know that may seem hard to believe given all the sharing I do here.  But at the end of the day, what matters most is that you are happy with your choices and that they work well for both of you.

Please remember that there are only TWO people in your marriage.  Guard the gate ladies and keep the peanut gallery out.  You will know how much and when to share, so listen to your gut instinct, talk with your husband and follow your heart.  You got this.