Thankful Letter To The Husband

Babe,

Another year.  Praise Jesus we made it.

This year had a few more lows then anticipated but through it all, I had you.  We struggled a bit but we worked through it and we are stronger for it.  I am so thankful to have you by my side, always.

We've always been a team but this year proved how great we really are together.

The outside influences were strong this year and at times- trying.  But you will always be my steady force and for that, I am thankful.

A few days ago, we celebrated 13 years of marriage.  Wow.  I am so incredibly proud of us and so thankful for you, our marriage, the sweet little family we've created, the house we've turned into a home and all the beautiful blessings we've MADE together simply because two people fell in love.

We are quickly coming up on 17 years together total and in that time, you have been my constant.  I have never doubted that you loved me and that is the most amazing gift any husband can give to his wife.

Thank You.

For always loving me, for accepting me, for working for the future, for believing in us and our family, for setting aside the outside influences and remembering what truly matters- thank you.

I love you.

Your Wife.

How To Tell People You're "Traditional"

Recently the blog has seen quite an increase in visits to all things "traditional".  I've also had quite a few wives or wives to be reach out to me with questions and pleas for help.  While I'm not entirely sure what to attribute this recent interest in being a traditional wife or part of a more traditional household to- I am so happy that you are reaching out!

Being a traditional wife can at times feel TENDER and I for one, have a desire to protect it.  I don't share with my family or friends about our lifestyle and marriage choices because I don't want to open up our relationship for speculation and harsh judgments.  Truth be told- we've already experienced enough of that, I certainly don't need to add any more to it!  We aren't hiding, we just aren't sharing ALL the things ALL the time.

Living this way is no longer the norm and when people find out that your husband is the head of your household, they look at you as if you've grown a second head.  Yes, the open mouthed stares are INTENSE and I for one, don't need it.  So I reserve my sharing for this safe space and do my very best to encourage you all from this small little platform that I can speak to like minded people.

When you do decide to let people know and how do you go about it?

This is a question that I've answered quite a bit in the last couple of months.  My advice is to just keep it simple.  Do not tell everything all at once.  If you know that your marriage will be Biblical, will follow more traditional roles, that you will homeschool, that you won't work outside the home, that your husband will be the head of the household- well, HOLY BUCKETS but that's a lot of new, and sometimes scary, information for your people to process all at once.

So just don't.

Tell them what they need to hear with as little detail as possible.  And honestly- if you can avoid speaking on it at all, then go with that.  Ease your people in.  Show them what this lifestyle is before they even know what is happening.  When we bombard people with what is viewed as unfavorable information, you simply never know how they will react.  Keep it simple, be honest but limit the information you share.

Why am I advising this?

In all honestly, there's lots of folks out there who embrace the different.  This is our new society and while I for one think it's great that people can be free to be themselves- if you are expressing something more traditional, the ridicule is STRONG.  Need I remind anyone of the letter to wives Facebook fiasco?  My own family members were sharing this post on their Facebook wall and saying the most horrible things about any woman who dare to live this way.  Family members that are living a very non-traditional lifestyle and DEMANDING to be accepted had NO tolerance, grace or understanding for how someone else chooses to live.

This makes my heart sad.  Why should we have to be constantly defending our choices?  If we are expected to respect their choices, they should damn well respect ours.  But y'all- this has NOT been my experience.  So instead, we have chosen to simply share as little as we can, be open and honest when needed and life our best life.  Let people witness for themselves and then make their judgments and speak their opinions if they feel the need.

We are very private, especially when it comes to our marriage and family.  I know that may seem hard to believe given all the sharing I do here.  But at the end of the day, what matters most is that you are happy with your choices and that they work well for both of you.

Please remember that there are only TWO people in your marriage.  Guard the gate ladies and keep the peanut gallery out.  You will know how much and when to share, so listen to your gut instinct, talk with your husband and follow your heart.  You got this.

So that happened last night....

Anyone else wake up with a massive headache and feeling just a bit bruised and battered after last night's election?

I'll just come right out and say it- that did NOT go how I was expecting.  I was fully prepared for Hillary to win.  Because the alternative?  Umm...yeah.  And before anyone starts blasting me for supporting either of them, let me be clear-

They both suck.

But I legit thought Hillary would take it, if for nothing else beyond that fact that she's a career politician and a woman.  Regardless of how we all feel about her, I know many of my friends and family who voted for her simply because they could cast a vote for the very 1st female President.

And now we are left with a country of people wondering how in the world we have a Donald for President.

In speaking with the husband this morning, we honestly felt that it came down to one big point.  Our country is FED UP.  We are so sick of the BS that is being forced upon us and frustrated over the lack of an honest leader that we are willing to swing the complete opposite of anything being presented to us.

The complete opposite.

So here we are.  Left with a horrible human being (but hey- at least we know he's morally corrupt right?) who has literally NO experience because we simply couldn't bring ourselves to vote for the establishment yet again.

Hmm.....

The feelings are strong this morning.  For all of us.

I want to encourage all of you to speak with your children about this election and it's outcome.  Really speak to them.  Let's try to move past the feelings and find the facts.  Let's teach our children that no matter who you voted for, at the end of the day we should still be kind and respectful towards each other.  We need to show our children how to move forward with hearts open for acceptance and love.

A lot will change in the next four years.  Of this, we can be certain.  But what happens in your home is what will have the biggest impact on them.  Model love.  Model kindness.  Model respect.

United We Stand.  Divided We Fall.

Election Day

Well here it is- Election Day.

Meh.

I have steadfastly been sticking my head in the sand since April.  How is this possible that out of millions billions of people in our country- these two are our only choices?  For reals?  What happened here folks?  Truth be told- I honestly thought Trump would be like, "oops never mind" and Hillary would be....well...yeah.

But here we are.

As a homeschooling Mom, you best believe we've used this epic election as some valuable learning tools.  We have been talking about this awful thing since summer it would seem and recently we began teaching the kiddo the mechanics behind an election.  You know- the boring stuff that elections are made up of- the three branches of government, electoral votes, house/senate and yada yada.....boo.

I'm trying here folks.

In every thing we can learn something.  I believe in this wholeheartedly but what I don't believe in is this ridiculous government we've got now.  Blech.  How in the world did this happen?!?

So today as we mark a passage in time, I want to share a recent conversation that I had with the kiddo regarding our two wonderful candidates.  I did share it over on the the Facebook page, so if you aren't already there- you NEED to be my friend.

My hope is that more folks will realize there are other options beyond the two we see on TV.  Umm....hello?  There was like 7 candidates on the ballot and truth be told, it just plain sucks that the majority of voters had only ever heard of two.  While it's most likely too late for this election, it's not too late for the next one.  In four long years....

You do NOT have to pick between the lesser of two evils.  
You do NOT need to "sit out" from voting.  
Your vote WILL always matter.  
A vote for a 3rd party is a vote AGAINST another party.  
There is NO wasted vote.

So please y'all....get your vote on!  For whichever candidate you choose, just get out there and make your voice heard.

And as promised, below is the conversation I shared last month.  Good stuff right there mmkay...

Convos In the Car:

Kiddo- Mom, I like watching the debates. I like to actually try to listen to both sides when they are talking about stuff. You know...from their point of view & not just agree with what Dad has to say about it.

Me- That's part of why we have debates, so you can try to hear opposing viewpoints on the same subject. When they aren't screaming & behaving crazy that is....

Kiddo- I still don't like Hillary.

Me- Well, lots of people don't. But Trump isn't great either.

Kiddo- You just want Hillary.

Me- Not true. Let's say you are applying for the MOST important job in the world. A big job, with lots of responsibilities....now let's imagine that you have literally NO experience. And what limited experience you do have within your own companies, were not at all successful. Now let's imagine you call everyone who disagrees with you horrible names & say bad things about at least half of the people you will be working for. Would you hire this person?

Kiddo- No.

Me- And now lets imagine that you have years of experience to help prepare you for this big job. You know all the important stuff & you can present yourself fairly well during your interviews. But let's just imagine that you haven't really accomplished all that much in the years you've been working towards this big job. And what little you have accomplished has come from sponging off others, making poor choices & behaving unethically. So while you might look good on your resume, your actions and behavior says something quite different. Would you hire this person?

Kiddo- Well probably not. What does this have to do with the debate?

Me- These people are Trump & Hillary.

Kiddo- I don't understand. How come we don't have better choices?

Me- Exactly child. How come we don't have better choices?

#NotAllLessonsComeFromATextbook
#WeNeedBetterChoices

Simplify Your House

I don't like STUFF.

There, I said it.  My people know that I'm just not a big fan of lots of EXCESS.  Everything in my life is as paired down as I can possibly make it while still enjoying life and living fabulous.  I like things that serve more than one purpose and I am constantly re-inventing ways to use things.  If I only use something one time a year for one thing- then most likely it's already been shipped off to donation by now.

But here's the thing- I didn't always use to be this way.  As I've gotten older and the running of my home has become a passion of mine, I have made some major changes towards keeping things simple.  Part of my battle in the early years was that I just couldn't afford to spend lots of money on organizational items.  So while I may have wanted a certain look, style, aesthetic in my home- finances were tight for the husband and I and such frivolous things as baskets for blankets or a couch in my color scheme was simply NOT in our budget.

Today, I want to share with you all how I turned chaos into calm and hopefully inspire you to do the same!

Do Your Research.

I know this seems weird, "research"?!?  Say what?  But trust me on this one.  Look at home decor magazines, books, Pinterest, window shop the stores and get a general idea of the style that you prefer.

For me- I like clean, simple lines and more of a modern look without being TOO modern.  Confusing right?  Ha!  But I classify my style as comfy modern.  Find out what appeals to you BEFORE you get started.

List It!

Oh Lord how I do love my lists!  

Once you have a general idea of style, it's time to really get to work.  Take inventory of what you already have in your home.  What will work with this new concept?  What do you NEED?  Can you re-vamp existing items, like an old antique sideboard into a fabulous TV stand or a cracked water pitcher into a floral vase?  Think outside the box!  Then simply make a list FOR EACH ROOM.

PSST....I have an old radio cabinet that was hand crafted by someone's grandpa.  The woman gave it to me for free because no one had use for an old radio cabinet and she wasn't able to sell it.  The furniture is excellent quality and with a day's work sanding and staining, it now makes a wonderful sideboard for my fancy china and table linens.  So yes- I highly recommend you think outside the box and consider reusing as much as you possibly can.  If something isn't quite working in one room, perhaps it will be great in another.

Start Small.

Now that you have a general idea, I highly recommend you start with just one room.  The living room is best because this is typically the one people see first when visiting your home.  If you try to do everything at once, you will easily become overwhelmed and may falter in your task.  Stay the course by keeping it to just one room at a time.

As time and budget allows- spread out into the other rooms of your house.  

Everything In It's Place.

My super easy way to keep my home looking neat and tidy is by simply making sure that everything has a designated spot.  Now if I could just get my husband and child to put things back in it's spot every time....but really, I cannot recommend this enough.  

Going along with this idea is to give things a resting place that is OUT OF VIEW to the eye.  So instead of buying one of those sweet blanket ladders to rest against your wall and display your coziest blankets, put them out of sight in a covered basket or nearby linen closest.  When we SEE less stuff, it makes our home appear more clean.

Hooks work wonders for this too!  In our downstairs coat closest, these hooks are where I store my purse.  Ah yes- every ladies nemesis.  Where to put your purse where it's easily accessible but not an eyesore?  Hooks ladies.  Hooks!

Upstairs in the bedrooms the kiddo's backpack hangs off one in his closest, the husband keeps his belts on his and they also work great for hanging up necklaces.  Hooks are simply brilliant for a cheap, easy and effective storage solution!

 I am also a fan of baskets.  Let's be real- baskets are the unsung hero's of home storage and organization!  They can look great and become part of the decor but are so damn functional that you'd be crazy not to buy a few.

Color Chromatic.

Stick to one or two MAIN colors throughout your entire home.  This is your BASE or foundation and then anything you add into this basic color scheme will really pop.

My home is brown and black.  I know...I know...seems boring right?  But when I add splashes of orange for the fall or bright reds in Christmas, these colors really stand out.  The result is an intentional look that really pulls my home all together.

It is also very easy to mix and match within a simple color scheme.  And of course this is a simple way to create some DRAMA or a focal point to your space when you start with a basic canvas.

Throw It Away.

For Heaven's sakes!  Throw away your stuff!  Do not allow things to pile up but rather take 5 minutes to go through the mail and automatically recycle, open bills and file.  When something breaks, automatically toss it.  If you are no longer using an item, donate it.  Do not hold on to the stuff!  It will weigh you down and make your home look cluttered.

Pull an Elsa and just LET IT GO.  

I am constantly donating items and selling on Ebay.  Mainly clothes and shoes since my child is still growing but really- as soon as something is no longer useful to you, LET IT GO.  

Do Not Fill The Space.

For some reason, people feel the need to fill up every spot/corner/wall etc in their home.  Not all people, but still...I just don't get this one.  Less decor will have a bigger impact than tchotchke's stuffed in every nook and cranny of your home.  Trust me on this one.

I once went to someone's house and y'all- the house itself was a showstopper!  So gorgeous and the homeowners had done some amazing updgrades.  But this poor woman had decorated every single available spot and my eyes just didn't know where to look!  It made the house feel smaller and I found myself wondering how she had time to CLEAN all of it! 

Less is always more.  Believe me.

Decorate With Intention.

When you do start to decorate, keep in mind a few things.  Beyond the less is more concept, do not forget that the items you do choose to display are literally the finishing touch on your home.  So for this reason, I suggest you make these items PERSONAL.  Yes, metal balls from Crate and Barrel might look fancy but are they really YOU?  Display family photos, monograms are your new BFF and be sparing with artwork.  Now is also the time to intentionally place one or two sentimental items in prominent places in your home.

While the jade green antique bulldog does NOT go with a single thing in my home, it proudly sits on my entry table.  Why?  Because it's important and SPECIAL to my husband and therefore it has it's place of honor within our home.  When we remove the excess, we can then make room for the special.

Rethink Your Space.

You guys- my office and kitchen pantry is now in what would normally be the dining room of my home.  Do not be afraid to switch up the floor plan!

If I had kept to the original layout- each room would have been overcrowded and this would have made my small home appear even smaller.  What space I do have can NOT be wasted!  In addition, I would have had to purchase more furniture for a family room (out of the initial budget) and would have lost out on a larger dining room.  By simply mixing it up and rethinking my floor plan, I was able to save myself money, have a more open layout, gain a designated office space (which is much needed since we homeschool & I work from home!) and I have an actual "formal" dining room.  Win win!

Make Room For Clutter.

Say what?!?  I know that this may seem counter productive but the truth is that we all have it.  Clutter exists!  We all need a spot for the random bits and pieces of life so allow yourself a junk drawer or other easily accessible spot to place all this random clutter that you can't seem to find a home for but insist upon keeping.  

But y'all- just ONE spot.  And don't forget to routinely go through it and clean it out.

Train Your People.

All of this effort will be in vain if you do not teach your family these rules.  Show your children where things belong, help them to remember to put those tennis shoes in the shoe basket, remind them to pick up after themselves and at some point, it will just become second nature.  Hopefully!

It is everyone's job to keep things picked up and looking tidy.  If we all make a few small changes, it's easy to keep your house looking nice.  Sometimes we have to start with training ourselves in a new way of doing things (just like I did) but I can promise you that the payoff is BIG! It is wonderful to know where everything is at any given moment, what items I have in my home that can serve double duty and it makes holiday decorating that much easier!  Plus- it really turns your house into a home.  We aren't looking for a showpiece here but rather a place that is comfortable, inviting and reflective of the people who live here.  Too much clutter makes this impossible.

Best of luck to you as you go about the process of simplifying your home.

I'm Back!

This summer I really stepped back from social media.  I was present and active but not nearly as much.  It may have had something to do with a houseful of kiddo's but really- it was all about slowing down and taking time IN REAL LIFE to be more engaged.

So I took a bit of a break.

Some time away to refresh, think, NOT WRITE or share.  It's been relieving in a way and absolutely needed.  But not too worry- I'm back.  And just in time for the holidays.  Woop!  Woop!

I hope you all had a beautiful summer while I was away and let me be the first to say- 

LET'S DO THIS.